10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship and What They Really Look Like

Nobody's relationship is going to be perfect. You're going to misunderstand one another, think differently, and need time away from each other. How you act towards each other on an everyday basis is what makes it healthy.

From communicating with one another, allowing boundaries, dividing tasks, and being able to disagree on something, these are all things that can display that a relationship is healthy. None of these signs alone will tell you that you have a perfect relationship. Take a step back and see what your pattern has been like.

Are you feeling cared for, loved, and appreciated?

I have learned that having a healthy relationship doesn't mean you will always do everything right. It's about being able to communicate with each other, listen to one another, and learn from your bad times. Doing small things that show you respect can go a long way.

Showing each other respect

You respect each other's opinions and what they may want or need from a situation. Respect each other's boundaries and don't try to demean, threaten, or blackmail your partner into giving you what you want.

You may ask each other if they want to go to something that night instead of just assuming they will. Don't tell a friend a secret that your partner told you not to share.

Someone may want to stay home and relax while your partner wants to go out to an event. Discuss your options and don't make fun of what they want to do.

"I understand that you want to do that. What can we do to meet in the middle?"

Being able to communicate with each other

You can express to your partner what you feel, want, or need. There's no need to play games or give them clues that you are unhappy.

"I wasn't informed that the plan was changed, and I didn't like that."

Instead of just saying nothing and expecting your partner to know that you're mad.

Of course, your partner may not always do what you want, but at least you can communicate your feelings to each other.

For more examples, read how to communicate better in a relationship.

Listening to what your partner is saying

Listen to your partner, not only when it's your turn to speak, but actually listening to what they have to say. You can even ask them if they want you to listen or if they want you to help problem-solve.

Maybe your partner tells you they are stressed about work.

"Do you want me to listen or do you want me to help?"

You can ask them that and allow them to open up to you.

You can also say, "It seems like your work deadline is stressing you out. Is that right?" Listening doesn't mean that you agree with what they are saying, but you care about what they have to say.

Feeling comfortable with yourself

You should feel comfortable being yourself around your partner. If you're scared that they will laugh at you when you open up or try to humiliate you, that's a big red flag.

Someone may open up to their partner and say that they are nervous about meeting their friends.

"Thank you for telling me. We can go at whatever speed you're comfortable with."

Feeling comfortable in your relationship is a big part of a healthy relationship.

Having a sense of teamwork

While there are still two individuals in your relationship, you should be working as a team when it comes to decisions, whether it be something that night or what you spend your money on.

This doesn't mean you have to split everything 50/50. Some people may have more time available to help out. Make sure that the tasks you divide feel equal.

One person may have a busy week, and your partner can do more chores that week. Once your schedule slows down, you can do more.

"I've been doing most of the cooking and meal planning. Can we figure out a better way to divide this task?"

Allowing each other to have boundaries

Everyone has boundaries, whether it be privacy, physical boundaries, what you're okay with when arguing, etc. When you set a boundary, you aren't forcing your partner to have a boundary. You are stating what you're comfortable with and what you will do.

"I'm happy to discuss this with you, but I will not tolerate name-calling. If you continue to call names, I will walk away from the conversation and come back later."

Having boundaries can allow your relationship to flourish because you both know what you're okay with.

Allow each other to have time apart

Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you have to do everything together. You can still have time with your friends, hobbies, and whatever you want to do.

Someone may want to do their hobby one Saturday, and their partner can go hang out with a friend. Don't view your partner wanting time to themselves as them not loving you.

"It's nice that you want to do that. We can do something together later this week."

Just make sure you're still showing care and communication to your partner.

Can argue healthily

You're bound to have arguments in any relationship. It's normal to have disagreements and not see eye to eye on everything. However, you should be able to discuss the topic at hand without degrading your partner.

"If I buy this, it's going to be harder for us to pay the bill this month."

You can state your concerns about buying something without saying your partner is selfish.

Take breaks when arguing. Just make sure that your partner knows when you will come back to finish the discussion.

"I feel that I'm getting too angry. Can we take a break for 20 minutes and come back to this at 7?"

Appreciate each other

Say thank you when your partner does something for you, whether it be picking up groceries or asking you if you wanted to go to something.

"Thank you for picking up those groceries. That really helped me out tonight."

Or "I liked that you asked me if I wanted to do that before making plans."

Showing appreciation is never a bad thing to do.

Following through

Words aren't enough. Follow through with what you say you're going to do. Of course, we all forget things and can mess up sometimes. But at least make the attempt to do what you said you were going to do.

Maybe you said you'd call when you got off work but got stuck. Text them when you're able and explain why you couldn't call. If you're constantly breaking promises and don't care when you do, that's something to discuss.

"When you don't inform me of changes, I feel that I don't know what to expect."

Remember that everyone's healthy relationship will look different. Maybe your partner likes to communicate right away or may take longer. Some may like to do everything together while others like to have more time apart.

Just see what patterns your relationship has shown you. Are you both communicating, respecting boundaries, and working as a team? If you can answer yes to those questions, you're probably on the right track.