WHY I TEACH-Part 1: Mr. Demetrix

“Stop it!” I screamed, my arms flailed above my head.

“I’m gonna knock his punk ass out,” Dee spat back as he lunged forward.

“You’re going to have to go through me,” I screamed back, standing between the giants, my hands now firmly on each boy’s chest.

They looked down at me, all 5’2”, 125 pounds of me, straining to keep them apart, and laugh.

“Whatever, man,” Dee said as he stepped back and punched the air.

“You good?” I asked Dee. He nodded. “You?” I asked Bryant. He responded with a thump to his heart and a peace sign.

“Back into the classroom.” I ushered them toward the open door. The kids in the door frame scampered back to their desks.

“What did the office say?” I asked. Blank stares responded. “I pushed the panic button before I left. Are they sending someone?”

“Nah, we told them it wasn’t anything,” Jeromy said with a grin.

I shook my head and sat at my desk, my legs shook, my heart pounded in my ears. “Days like these I wish I drank,” I muttered under my breath. “Page 53, let’s get back to it.”

I pondered what to tell Stuart when I got home that night.

“A fight?” Stuart’s mouth hung open, his eyes wide. “You broke up a fight? Are you insane?”

“Honey, I’m fine, really, fine,” I replied as I put the plates on the dining room table.

“Why didn’t you push the panic button?” Stuart moved closer to me.

I laughed. “I did and then I pushed the boys out the back door so they wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

Stuart shook his head. I just shrugged.

“I will be so glad when you are done with this school year.” Stuart pulled me close and kissed my neck. “You put yourself at risk.”

“They’re just kids,” I protested as I cocked my head to give him easier access to my neck.

“Just be careful.”

“I always am,” I replied. I turned to face him and held him. I melted into the safety of his strong arms.

I can do this, I thought as I drove to school the following day.

“Why do I need to know this shit?” Dee blurted out less than ten minutes into class. He slammed his textbook and shoved it to the side.

“Accounting runs the world,” I replied casually as I looked back from the projection screen.

“Yeah, but why do I need to know this shit?”

“You’re a senior, aren’t you?” I asked.

“He’s a repeater,” Bryant smirked from behind his hand.

“Man,” Dee said, “I’m gonna bust you up.” He stood and slammed his chair under his desk.

“Mr. Demetrix,” I sighed, “have a seat. We aren’t going to do this again.”

Dee fake lunged towards Bryant and stepped back. “Punk ass,” he said as he took his seat. He took out a small black brush and began smoothing his hair down.

“So you are graduating in a month, correct,” I asked.

“If I pass this damn class,” he said with disdain.

“Just this one, it’s the only thing stopping you from graduating,” I clarified.

“Dumb ass Mr. Owens never liked me,” Dee replied.

“Well,” I began, “Mr. Owens is wherever Mr. Owens is and I’m here now. I like you Dee, you can do this.”

“Whatever, man,” Dee huffed as he reached over and grabbed his textbook. He glanced at the open book of the girl next to him and turned to the same page.

I smiled on the drive home, progress.

“He’s 6’10,” Stuart said. He strained his neck to look down at me. “One of the kids you stood between was 6’10?”

I nodded, my cheek rubbing against his bare chest.

“A big kid?”

“I guess,” I replied. “He used to play basketball until he got kicked off the team for fighting.”

“And you pushed them out the back door?”

“Well, I couldn’t have them fighting in the classroom.”

Stuart pulled me close, “You have to be more careful.” I nuzzled into his embrace.

Today I will be more careful, I thought as I pulled into the school parking lot. More careful.

“You don’t know what I’ve been through,” Dee blurted out as we tackled a new concept. The debits and credits page forgotten as all eyes turned to him.

“A lot, I assume,” I replied.

“Man, you’ve got it so easy,” Dee said as he stroked down his hair.

“Easy, sure.” I shook my head and switched off the projector. “Hey Dee, let’s play a game.”

Dee rolled his eyes and put his arm around the girl next to him and commenced kissing her shoulder.

“Seriously, let’s play a game.” I challenged.

“What kind of game?” Dee turned to face me.

“You tell me something bad that happened in your life and I’ll share something bad that’s happened in my life. The one with the most bad things wins.”

Dee smirked. “Like you’ve had a bad life.”

“So let’s play,” I replied. “You can go first.”

“My family ain’t got shit,” Dee said. “We’re so far below poverty level, there ain’t no way out.”

“I had two pairs of pants growing up,” I replied. “One to wear to school and one to wear on the weekends. Our refrigerator was broken. Our cabinets were empty.”

“We don’t have a car,” Dee stated.

“My mom got her first car when I was 12. It was a 1980s vomit green station wagon. It had a cassette tape player and a broken radio,” I replied.

“I’ve never met my dad,” Dee admitted.

“Oh, I’ve met my dad, he’s an alcoholic. It’s been 23 years since I’ve seen him. The last time I saw him I was 5.”

Dee snorted.

“I also have a step-dad,” I offered.

Dee shook his head and smirked.

“My fondest memory of him was when I was 10,” I began. “I had a loose tooth and it was bothering me. I guess I annoyed him, complaining about it and all. So he got pliers and chased me around the house. He was going to pull all my teeth out. I managed to make it under my bed. I was far enough back that he couldn’t reach me. My mom tried to stop him, tried to pull him away. He took her and slammed her against the wall. He beat her until he wasn’t angry anymore.”

A wave of silence crashed over me. My students looked at Dee.

“Psshaw,” Dee said, “That ain’t nothing. My moms beats me all the time.”

All eyes turned to me.

“So did mine,” I replied. “I would flinch whenever she would raise her hand.”

Dee’s brow furrowed. “I’ve been abused by family.” He crossed his arms and glared at me.

“I was sexually assaulted by my grandfather. When I told my dad, he called me a lying bitch whore. I was 5. That was the last time I saw my dad.” I replied.

Dee stared at me, stunned.

“It’s your turn.” I prodded.

“I don’t want to play anymore,” Dee said. He took the hand of the girl beside him and pulled her to her feet. “Let’s go.” He led her from the room.

“But I’ve got so many more to share,” I replied.

The bell chimed and the class left in utter silence.

As I drove home, my hands gripped the steering wheel.

“You told him what?” Stuart asked. He stopped stirring the sauce and turned to look at me.

I shrugged.

“Why would you do that? You could lose your job.”

“I’ve got 3 weeks left of this year, I seriously doubt they will fire me,” I replied.

“But why? Why would you share that? Why would you even put that out there?”

“I just want to make a difference.”

Stuart shook his head and returned to stirring the sauce.

The next day, the bell rang and the test began. “Screw this,” Dee blurted out as he slammed his pencil down.

I walked over and discretely put a calculator on his desk.

He looked up at me and smiled.

A few minutes later, I glanced over to see him hunched over his workbook, pencil in hand, tongue sticking out, transferring numbers from the calculator to his page.

I drove home, windows down, singing loudly to my favorite songs.

“You mean he’s actually passing?” Stuart asked incredulously.

I looked up from my dinner salad, “Yup, he’s got a 71.”

“Babe! That’s amazing!” Stuart reached out and took my hand.

Graduation day, I stood beside the refreshment table, Stuart at my side. I saw Dee make his way through the crowd. He twisted his graduation cap nervously in his hands. Dee walked right past his girlfriend and mom. In a few strides, he stood in front of me. He put his arms around me and lifted me off the ground. He held me tight. “Thank you for not giving up on me,” he whispered.