The Little Black Book

Hollis was in a funk. It was the second semester of his junior year and all classes had been cancelled. Anxiety was as much a pandemic as Covid-19; even his non-cannabis using friends had given in this year and tried it. He sat on the couch and listened to Lo-fi while he attempted to study for one of his online classes. The gloomy weather and freezing temperature weren’t helping his mood. He tried not to brood over his recent break up with his boyfriend Jacob.

His cell phone buzzed and it was Kenzie, his best friend. It was also her junior year as a dance and theater major. “Hey Holly, you doing okay?” When she called him by her pet name, he knew she was worried about him. “I’m fine mother” he kidded. Kenzie was very protective of Hollis. She had rescued him from bullies in second grade and never stopped, even if the “bullies” were his own thoughts. She was the friend who stood by him when came out to his parents.

When he learned Kenzie had applied to OCU school of dance, he was despondent. If she got accepted; they would be at different schools. He knew his family couldn’t afford a school like that for him. Kenzie refused to let him give up that easily and convinced him to apply for a music scholarship. He was one of the smartest and most talented people she knew, besides being her best friend. “Hollis, nobody plays the clarinet like you do! I don’t even like the clarinet and I love listening to you play” Kenzie had joked.

“If it’s meant to be, it will happen” said his mother Valerie. His dad Stephen was a little more practical in his outlook but supported Hollis looking into it. Hollis applied to the music school and scheduled an audition for the woodwind orchestra. One month later, there was great news for both Hollis and Kenzie. They got their academic letters of acceptance in the on the same day. “I can’t believe it!” Kenzie had shrieked at the top of her voice. Hollis pulled the phone from his ear and made a face. “You’re going to deafen me, then I won’t be able to play the clarinet anymore” he teased her. Now he just had to wow them at his audition. Kenzie definitely wowed the dance school with her audition. Her positivity stayed with him when he walked in for his audition a month later. He not only wowed them, he blew them away with his expertise and interpretive ability.

Kenzie was on her way over with lunch and a surprise package for Hollis. Valerie had called her on Facetime video and requested that Kenzie deliver it in person. She was hoping it would cheer him up. She had cleaned out a closet of her mother’s personal items and found something unexpected. Her mother had passed away six months before and Hollis had taken it especially hard. There sat a package on the shelf with his name on it. She had no idea what it was, but she knew Hollis would be thrilled to get it.

After Kenzie told him all about her new theater tech boyfriend, she pulled the package out of her new Betsy Johnson backpack. “I have a surprise for you. Your mother asked me to give this to you directly.” She handed him a small brown paper package with his name written across the top, and a “From Grandma” underneath. Hollis teared up as he started to open it. “Your mom said she thinks your Grandma meant you to have it before she passed, but didn’t get the chance” Inside was a soft black leather book with a leather tie. “It looks like a diary or journal” said Kenzie. Inside the cover was a folded note from her. It read, “Happy Birthday to my favorite grandson. Fill this little black book with all the happy thoughts and memories you can think of. Live your life to the fullest and always remember to pay it forward! Our memories are life’s true treasures. Tempest Fugit, Love, Grandma.”

Tempest fugit was his grandmother’s favorite way of reminding everybody to not waste time worrying over what you can’t change and live in the moment. He smoothed the cover lovingly with his hand, appreciating its quality and craftsmanship. He opened the book and smiled when he saw the pages were vellum. Hollis learned calligraphy in middle school and had made lots of gifts for friends and families over the years. His relatives all had lots of lovely signs in their homes made with calligraphy; mostly cheerful reminders and thoughts for the day. Every Christmas, the joke was, “What did you write me this year for Christmas?”

He held the journal in his hands and closed his eyes. A warm tingle extended pleasantly up his arm as he breathed in and exhaled slowly. He heard his grandmother’s voice in his head say “There’s more!” His mother and grandmother were spiritually intuitive women. They had both had their share of premonitions and dreams. More than once they had saved a friend or family member with a warning. Hollis had learned from his mother to use his intuition wisely and not be afraid of it.

Kenzie had gone in the kitchen to dish up some Ben & Jerry’s. She heard Hollis suddenly chuckle. “Kenzie, you won’t believe what was in the back of the book.” After she set the bowls and spoons down, he handed her a slip of paper. She read it out loud. “Dear Hollis, I dreamt about these numbers a few nights ago and I wrote them down first thing. This morning I remembered the note and I had a strong feeling I was supposed to give it to you. Remember, always trust your intuition. P.S. these numbers came to me and I think it might be a date, but I’m not sure of the order, 31812”.

Kenzie had just received the package in the mail that morning. Hollis was feeling a bit excited, but reminded Kenzie that his grandmother wasn’t always right. Sometimes the numbers were symbolic in dreams and it could just be one of many possible outcomes. “The year has to be 21, so that means either 8/13/21, 8/31/21 or, oh my God, 3/18/21 is today!” They both jumped up at the same time and almost knocked each over with excitement.

“Kenzie, don’t tell anybody about this until we have tried all the dates. It might be today, or it could be in August. Let’s see what happens tonight. You know my grandmother used to win the daily pick at least twice a month and was always winning scratch offs” he quipped. Kenzie agreed, but they really hoped it was that night. Later that evening they sat watching for the outcome of the lottery draws.

They both felt a bit of a let-down when they didn’t even get one number, but there were still two more dates to try. They just had to survive Covid-19 and bad weather until then. In the meantime, Hollis started writing in his journal. He remembered his grandmother said to fill it with happy memories and thoughts, so as he wrote about Jacob, he decided not to focus on the break-up. He had a lot of really special memories with Jacob and wanted to keep them. They were also still friends, and friends were hard to come by.

The next few months flew by quickly and by the end of July, they both had their vaccines. They were ecstatic they could perform again. University classes started early in Oklahoma, usually the second week of August, so they were already registered and had started getting books and supplies for the semester. The weekend before classes started, Tuesday August 12th, they celebrated their survival and their futures. After a small impromptu pizza party with their other vaccinated friends from school, they sat and reflected on how much they had been through that year.

After their friends left, Kenzie checked her phone then asked “It’s pretty early, do you want to go out and see a movie or hear some music?” Hollis suddenly sat up. “Kenzie, its 8/13/21.” They had both forgotten about that date coming up with all of their preparations for the school year. It took them only three minutes to get out the door so they could go buy a lottery ticket. They decided to wait until morning to check the numbers. It was fun to think about what they would do with all that money.

Hollis poured his coffee and turned on the morning news for the traffic report. He opened his laptop and checked his email from school. There was a letter welcoming him to his senior year. The letter reminded him that he would have extra expenses this year; graduations ceremonies meant spending money. He wasn’t worried about getting through his senior year academically, but he did wonder how he was going to cover a lot of the additional costs. “Well, it looks like we have a couple of Oklahoma winners from last night’s Mega Millions” announced the newscaster. Hollis sat still for a moment, then calmly got up and retrieved his lottery ticket from the kitchen counter. He opened the lottery phone app and clicked on the power ball numbers.

Hollis smiled as he compared the numbers. Then he let out a whoopee! He had four numbers and the Powerball! Then he saw the multiplier was two. He had won twenty-thousand dollars! This was the perfect time for this money. It would be more than enough to cover his graduation expenses and fly his family to be there.

He called Kenzie right away. “Mornin’ Holly” she muttered as she sipped her herbal tea. “Are you sitting down?” After reassuring him that she was, he gave her the good news. Kenzie was so thrilled for him. They had both hoped his grandmother was right, and even though it would have been fantastic to have won the whole jackpot, Hollis was so grateful and Kenzie was so very happy for him. After going through 2020 and 2021 thus far, they had come to appreciate their blessings in a more profound way.

“My grandmother told me to pay it forward remember?” Hollis reminded Kenzie. “Before I spend any of this on myself, I need to find a way to honor that.” Kenzie agreed that they should discuss it when they got together again. After they discussed options, they decided to donate some needed equipment and instruments to a deserving public school. They contacted a local performing arts high school program in Oklahoma City and made it happen. The school was so grateful, they asked Hollis to come and perform for the instrumental majors.

Hollis was excited about the opportunity and Kenzie tagged along of course. While they were there, they were given a tour of the school. Kenzie was amazed to see they had a dance major program. She ended up having a long chat with the dance teacher and was invited herself to come back another time and talk to the senior high school students about the Dance program she was in.

The two friends got through Senior year with few complications and many special experiences. Before graduation, both Hollis and Kenzie received letters from the high school they visited offering them full-time jobs as teachers. This was so unexpected and the best gift Hollis could have received. Kenzie wasn’t sure if she would accept the position yet, she was leaning more towards pounding the pavement now that Broadway was open again. That night they got on Zoom with their parents and shared the good news. The future wasn’t written yet, but they all agreed on one thing; it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy!

Leslie Perkel