The List

This is a list of things I did not know would happen while pregnant and having my first baby. Disclaimer: The things I discuss is in my experience of first time pregnancy and the things in here worked for me and may not work for others.

1.) Sleep deprivation is a literal nightmare. I don’t know any other way to explain it than that. Once your child is born, you lose so much sleep from that very first night in the hospital. I was so nervous and scared to let my daughter out of my sight that I simply…didn’t. My advice is those nights when in the hospital, consider letting the nurses take the baby into the nursery overnight. Even if it’s just the night before taking your baby home. The nurses are awake and trained. You’re going to want that rest.

2.) Breastmilk sometimes doesn’t come in until 4-5 days after having your baby! Getting the baby to latch while in the hospital was not easy and even with trying nipple shields, she did not really have a strong latch. In fact, in the two months of her birth, my daughter has only latched onto me maybe five times. The nurses were kind enough to introduce me to pumping, something I did not think I would be doing until I was getting ready to return to work. This has proven to be, in my experience, more beneficial.

3.) You do know when it is the time for baby’s arrival. While pregnant, I was constantly asking family members and co-workers how they knew when they were going into labor. Some of them explained it as the worst cramps I would ever have in my life while others said there would simply be a lot of pressure in my abdomen. One person did explain that “it’s like a switch.” Something in my brain or body would know that it was the real deal when the time came. I know for some women false labor and Braxton Hicks make it very difficult to determine whether it is real or not. I myself struggled there a bit. I went to the hospital 2-3 times thinking it was time for me to have my daughter. Each time, I was wrong until the last time.

4.) Contractions can be so bad that you throw up. My contractions felt like both intense cramping as if I was on my period and like I had to take a giant poop. I woke up very early on a Sunday morning sick to my stomach. I wound up throwing up and thinking that a bath would be the way to go since when I am normally feeling unwell, a bath helps tremendously. In this case, it did not. En route to the hospital, I rolled my window down for some fresh air and wound up throwing up out the window. The nurse at the hospital said it was because I was not breathing through the pain. This was very true, and I recommend taking deep slow breaths to keep yourself from hyperventilating.

5.) You can’t sleep through contractions. I was told this by a co-worker and didn’t believe it until my contractions were waking me up at 4am. If you can’t sleep through that intense pain, it’s real.

6.) Pumping can be as expensive as feeding your baby formula. I myself prefer feeding my daughter breast milk, but due to her issues with latching, I decided to go with the route of exclusively pumping breast milk. At the time of me writing this, I have tried two pumps, put away nearly 420 ounces into the freezer, and have pumped over 12 gallons of milk for my daughter. Pumps can be quite expensive, especially if your insurance is not paying for them. Not to mention the fact that you have certain parts that have to be replaced every so often. Getting your milk supply up can also be quite challenging and if you don’t qualify for WIC, getting the foods/drinks that help with breastmilk supply can also be expensive, especially with today’s prices.

7.) You’re going to automatically wake up at every small sound the baby makes. I used to be a very heavy sleeper and would only really wake up if someone shook me awake. Now, I wake up multiple times in the night, because my daughter makes little cooing noises in her sleep or she cries. I was honestly so worried while pregnant, because I thought that I would sleep through her crying. Thankfully, that is not the case.

8.) Whether you have troubles with the idea of returning to work or you can’t wait to go back, both reactions are actually quite normal. I learned this through one of the nutrition education classes that WIC offers online. For me, if I didn’t have to go back, I wouldn’t, because I love spending time with my child, but I also love my job. A part of me is excited to go back, but is also dreading it at the same time. Which for me, feels quite weird as I have never felt this conflicted before.

9.) You will give your all for your baby and sometimes, you have to remind yourself that you need to take care of yourself too. The first almost month of adjusting to motherhood, I found myself becoming more and more mentally and emotionally exhausted, because I was not allowing myself to take breaks or do my normal self-care things like read or take a relaxing bath. Even taking a nap can be crucial to getting through the more challenging days. If you have a partner, allow them to help you. It can be hard to admit you need help sometimes, but you can’t allow yourself to burn out on being a parent. Your child needs you healthy and sane.

10.) You’re going to feel indifferent about your body after having a child. That is okay, but you have to remember that your body changed over 9-10 months and it’s rapidly changing back to a different form of the same body. You’re going to be proud of your body because it produced your baby, but you’re going to have moments of low self-esteem where you wonder if you’re still good enough for your partner, where you wear some of your favorite clothes and look down on yourself. You shouldn’t. Your body went through some kind of trauma whether you give birth vaginally or you have a C-section. You have to remind yourself that your body is healing and that you are healing mentally. You are a beautiful person with a beautiful everything. Your child needs to see you loving yourself!