The Japanese ESL Shuffle

Okay, back to the old story...

I spent three years in Tokyo teaching ESL, shuttling from private companies, colleges, schools, offices, and the occasional private home on multiple calendars and schedules. Now, I know that I have discussed this and written about my time there in other pieces here and other online pages. But I also realized that I could provide a lot of good advice for those of you considering such a career. There are guides to life in Japan; how to communicate; proper etiquette and dress. And yet, I have never read anything about what types of students you should expect with such a life. And that is why, with the best of intentions, I have come up with a list of who to expect when you are teaching English as a Second Language:

1. The Lonely Housewife

I cannot overemphasize this. You will be spending a great deal of time with women whose husbands are pretty much strangers to them, and you will learn everything possible about her children, shopping habits, husband's work, and why she is taking lessons in English (the latter is something that you may have to draw out of her, but it will be an interesting story). I will warn you to avoid the temptation to spend more than the time allotted to learn about her life. I had the experience of a housewife who wanted to meet in a café. Eventually, I noticed the missing wedding ring and her offer to come to her house during the day for...private lessons. Be careful!

2. The Overburdened Student

Now, maybe I was just naive, but I did not expect so many students to appear in my cubicle or classroom. I was expecting more business people, not kids in uniform who saw my classes as a nice break from their high schools, colleges and something called 'cram school' (look it up). Most of them are very interesting (we had one we called Jeff Spicoli after Sean Penn's break out role in that wonderful early 80s production); some are clearly overworked; and then there are the ones who will break your heart (one girl told me that she could not walk on her regular route to school because she would be propositioned by the men there: she was 16). Again, listen and be careful...

3. The Overburdened Salaryman

Let me explain: the salaryman is the Japanese term for the overworked businessmen that you will see everywhere at any time in Tokyo and anywhere business is to be done. You will not know exactly what this business is, but it will be explained to you when the student becomes comfortable enough to use the language. Some of them will be very comfortable...maybe too comfortable. One teacher once came back from a class complaining about a student who asked - and this is a direct quote: ''Why do Western women get fat after 40?'' (we had no answers for him that were satisfactory). They will also have very important reasons for studying the language and you had better be on your game. Enjoy?

4. The Loner

There are a lot of these everywhere. I have noticed that teaching in the larger cities allows them to congregate more easily than in the smaller towns. And they are a handful! We had a system set up where we allowed students to have private classes or to go to something called The Voice Room just to have discussions. The men and women that I met there are still some of the most colorful people that I have ever met (we had one woman who began every conversation with the line, ''As you know...'' even if we had no idea where the conversation was heading; her nickname was, of course, Cleopatra - if you saw her haircut and heard her voice, you would completely understand). They were interesting people, but they often led to a group that you will have to be careful about. I am talking about...

5. The Group Terror

They have a very specific power and need to be watched and studied. They are eager, extroverted, capable of having a full and meaningful conversation with you, and they will drive your other students crazy. This is not a problem for you...until they drive you crazy and you realize that The Voice Room is no longer under control, and that the class you planned on verb tenses is now a discussion about what they plan on doing on their next vacation. Lance this boil early and quickly before you lose all control of your role. Be extra careful!

6. The Ones On A Break

It may seem odd to you, but there are the ones at certain schools who are only there because they have nothing else to do with their free time. I was told as much by one student that I wrote about earlier on this page (see ''Neruda and the Housewife''). There may be a few that you miss, a few that you want to avoid, and some that will haunt you for the rest of the day, week or month. Do not take it personally. Simply realize that you are just there to provide a service, like a barista or cabbie. Be aware...and remember what I said about the lonely.

And finally, my favourite group:

7. The Retirees!

I loved this group! Even as a young man in my twenties who thought he knew something about how the older generation saw the world, my exposure to that particular demographic in Japan was an incredible revelation. They were the best students I ever had because they forced me to learn more about myself and my life. I want to have that level of balance, calm and serenity when my working life is over and I am extremely grateful for their kind guidance and patience with me.

I am missing certain other people (I did teach an interesting number of teachers in my time), but this is where your work will be concentrated and focused. Heed my advice and all will be well.

Good luck (Ganbatte)!

Thank you for reading!

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