THE AGING PROCESS.

What is happiness for your aging parents?

My mother had nightmares her entire life. Sometimes she’d be stuck up to her waist in mud,unable to move. She’d had a childhood of abuse, a first unhappy marriage, a 2nd marriage with an “Archie Bunker” to which she played the dutiful and subservient wife, and then a rather strained, if not completely estranged, relationship with her only child, me, her daughter. In addition, she worked hard in sweat shops and factories until her retirement. A number of years after her husband died, in FL, she became a pawn in an elder abuse scam. So things always seemed to go from bad to worse for her. But then…

My husband and I found her a lovely apartment with beautiful grounds, gardens, and a pool here in CA, and had her move here. She was to spend a very “happy” and contented ten years with us until her death in a nursing home. For the first time in her life she was free of anyone barking orders at her either at work or at home. Over time, as she relaxed into this new unencumbered lifestyle, it even began to affect those nightmares that haunted her throughout her life.

I used to stay overnight at her apartment a couple of nights a week and visited her almost every day for long Scrabble games. The winner would buy lunch or dinner. I put a lot of my personal life on hold to be with her for those years because without me she’d have been totally lost at sea, a stranger in a strange land, in her 80s. But, because of our mutual passion for Scrabble, and she was a formidable opponent, I can’t say I minded much at all.

One morning when I had stayed the night, she woke up and came into the kitchen where I was having coffee and doing a crossword puzzle. Before I could say a word, she said, “I had the most wonderful dream last night. I was in something like an Italian Villa with grape vines outside and there were all these exotic looking tiles everywhere. The sun was shining through a big window onto the tiles and they kept changing their color and designs. It was the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen.”

To me, after a lifetime of nightmares that she would hardly ever talk about, this meant to me that my mother finally felt safe, happy, and free, and it was all because I rose above the realities of our rocky relationship and did the right thing.

What is happiness for your aging parents?

My mother had nightmares her entire life. Sometimes she’d be stuck up to her waist in mud,unable to move. She’d had a childhood of abuse, a first unhappy marriage, a 2nd marriage with an “Archie Bunker” to which she played the dutiful and subservient wife, and then a rather strained, if not completely estranged, relationship with her only child, me, her daughter. In addition, she worked hard in sweat shops and factories until her retirement. A number of years after her husband died, in FL, she became a pawn in an elder abuse scam. So things always seemed to go from bad to worse for her. But then…

My husband and I found her a lovely apartment with beautiful grounds, gardens, and a pool here in CA, and had her move here. She was to spend a very “happy” and contented ten years with us until her death in a nursing home. For the first time in her life she was free of anyone barking orders at her either at work or at home. Over time, as she relaxed into this new unencumbered lifestyle, it even began to affect those nightmares that haunted her throughout her life.

I used to stay overnight at her apartment a couple of nights a week and visited her almost every day for long Scrabble games. The winner would buy lunch or dinner. I put a lot of my personal life on hold to be with her for those years because without me she’d have been totally lost at sea, a stranger in a strange land, in her 80s. But, because of our mutual passion for Scrabble, and she was a formidable opponent, I can’t say I minded much at all.

One morning when I had stayed the night, she woke up and came into the kitchen where I was having coffee and doing a crossword puzzle. Before I could say a word, she said, “I had the most wonderful dream last night. I was in something like an Italian Villa with grape vines outside and there were all these exotic looking tiles everywhere. The sun was shining through a big window onto the tiles and they kept changing their color and designs. It was the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen.”

To me, after a lifetime of nightmares that she would hardly ever talk about, this meant to me that my mother finally felt safe, happy, and free, and it was all because I rose above the realities of our rocky relationship and did the right thing.

An old man had only 8 hair on his head.

He went to a barber shop.

The barber asked him hysterically:Should I count them or cut them?

The old man replied: COLOUR THEM!

#ThatsLife...

LIFE IS TO ENJOY WHATEVER YOU ARE BLESSED WITH!

YOU CAN BE HAPPIER WHEN YOU START COUNTING YOUR BLESSINGS !I don’t like to tell people, because there is often some level of envy when I tell them.

I am so lucky. My secret is that my husband of 47 years still sees me the way I looked the day we met when we were both 20.

But that’s only part of my secret.

He also feels that I am the most beautiful woman ever, and he loves my body. Although I started out 36–22–36, now, he says I am Rubenesque (Rubens painted a lot of voluptuous women).

And there’s more.

We perform a Sabbath service together every Friday afternoon at the assisted care home nearby, as well as lots of other charity work at and for our synagogue, not necessarily together. We share the same religious and spiritual zeal.

We share joy in our adult children and our two cats, one 20 years old born in our backyard, the other recently adopted from a Maine coon cat rescue.

We often shop together - at two local farmer’s markets, at the kosher butcher’s, at our local ethnic grocer’s, BJ’s, Costco and Trader Joe’s.

When we awaken and right before we go to sleep, we always share a kiss.

During the day when we are together, when we walk by each other, I touch his shoulder as I pass or kiss his cheek, he will grab my hand for a moment as we pass - not every time, but when we are so moved. We use Nordic walking poles when we take our daily walks together when the weather allows and talk about our day.

We do a lot of other things for each other - he gets up very early to start his business day, and brings me coffee every morning when I get up. I appreciate the hell out of him, and he does the same for me.

We have pretty much been through hell and back for almost 5 decades, and we have arrived at a magnificent place.

I wish it for everyone.

“Dad, I need your help. Come here!” My 11-year-old girl dragged me towards the computer.

“Dad, please purchase everything I have in the Amazon shopping cart. Here, take this cash from my savings!”

The shopping cart showed ten items for a total of about 130 dollars.

"Wait!” I replied. “That’s too much money! Why do you need all these things?”

"Please, Dad! These items will get here before Christmas. I have a surprise for everyone … no peeking!” she insisted, and I never hesitated.

I purchased everything.

A couple of days later she got everything.

I saw her then wrapping all her gifts.

“Can I help you?”

“Can I help you?”

“No, Dad. I told you these are special surprises. Absolutely no peeking!”

Her excitement was visible. She was proud. She was alive. She was glowing with happiness.

The day came. She couldn't contain herself. She was all over her gifts, planning, protecting, arranging. Everything had to be perfect.

As soon as dinner was over, she jumped up from her chair and took her gifts. She went around, giving each one of us her piece of love. These were small value items, but it was the meaning of her giving heart that we were really feeling.

As she gave to each person, she paused. She watched the expression on our faces. Our smiles were her greatest reward.

Her last gift was for my back then 2-year-old boy: A rocking pony ride-on toy.

It’s hard to describe the explosion of delight that my little boy had on his face when he got this gift!

For several minutes, everyone was totally absorbed, our attention taken up watching him go all around the house making it a rodeo arena. Even though the pony is designed to be a static rocking horse — his excitement was so significant that the horse slid a few inches forward or backward with every thrust he exerted into the little toy.

My little girl watched, rewarded with a huge smile on her face.

Somehow, witnessing these acts of giving love from my 11-year-old helped me understand the power of giving. Giving from the heart. Giving from the inside out.

Later that day, my girl received some gifts, but she didn't need them. She was focused on others, not on herself. It was evident that she was the one feeling true JOY. She was full.

What is happiness for you?

I was 14 when I first got the opportunity to write an exam for a blind person. I had to read the questions and write answers for him. After the exam, he hugged me and said "Shukriya bhaiya ji" (Thanks for the help brother). I asked him about his result day and promised to meet him again on that day. After a week, while coming back from school, I decided to visit him and ask his result. As he saw me coming, a tear rolled down his eyes. He was ranked 5th in the class, hugged me and offered me a sweet. It was the best feeling of the world.

True happiness comes from helping others! :)

EDIT 1: A lot of people have pointed out that how did he see me coming when he was blind. Well it's a figurative speech. The actual scene was - I knocked at his door and called out his name. He slowly opened the door and hugged me with a tear in his eyes.

Does money really buy happiness?

I was invited by someone who has a monthly salary of 5000 rupees to come and spend 31st evening with him and his friends.

When the time came to leave, my friends conveniently had other plans to attend to.

I had to go. I promised.

He lived in a slum near a dirty, fungus filled lake, overlooking a bridge that ferried passengers to and from my area.

The slum was fascinating to look at.

Muddy roads leading to a narrow, dark passage which led to a makeshift club house where there was a party.

Broken houses, with tin foiled roofs, overcrowded with barely enough space for the families who lived there.

With bated breath, I made my way to the club house.

There were about 40-50 people there. It was 10 30 pm, and the party had already begun.

Bottles of Blenders Pride, Old Monk, Desi Alcohol, you name it, it was there.

There was a borrowed speaker that had cracks in its body, due to years and years of use.

It blasted songs of Honey Singh, Raaftar, Bengali music, and the occasional Enrique Iglesias song.

I met Dada, the guy who'd invited me. The happiness on his face when he saw me, made all my anxiety fade away.

He paraded me around, and showed me off to anyone he could find.

His wife. His son. His best friend. His father. His friends. A local politician. A local don. Everyone. He introduced me to his world.

I was offered a seat to sit in, and a glass of Blenders Pride was poured for me.

Every two seconds someone checked in to see if I was okay.

Chicken was cooked, and everyone just dipped their hands in the bowl and picked a piece. I was offered the leg piece.

The entire time I was there, my glass was never empty. Not for a second.

Smiles adorned their faces, and with time, it was on mine.

Their world was mine, a stranger.

Their food, and booze, and the music, and everything else they had, was mine to share.

Little children lit rockets from their own bare hands, with a desi-mixed version of Tunir Maa blasting from the speakers.

With time, there were seven pegs of rum and whisky inside me.

I'd heard stories of brotherhood, evil, misery, poverty from those around me.

The whole party was thrown by contributing a meagre amount of 100 rupees from all who attended.

I wasn't asked to pay. I was their guest. Their friend's friend. That's all they needed to grace me with love, empathy and care.

When it was twelve, and the sky lit up with the world celebrating the end of yet another year, I stood hand in hand with Dada.

I was moved to tears.

Hand in hand. Counting the seconds. 5…4….3….2….1….Happy New Year.

I felt whole. I felt safe. I was one with the happiness around me. I was one of them.

As the old rusty speakers announced the dawn of another year, everyone hugged everyone.

I drank another peg, and Dad's best friend dropped me home with the promise to meet again.

I remember this so vividly because it taught me something very important.

It doesn't matter how much money you have. How big of a house you have. How many cars you have.

Where you live. How many TV's you have in your beautiful little palace? How many shoes you have. What you do.

If you don't have people to share it with, you have nothing

Why is it harder to be happy as you age?

Because as we age we become more and more conditioned…and we get better and better at making ourselves miserable.

Our essential nature is happiness. Look at the face of an infant, usually (outside of a wet diaper or hunger) I see joy, wonder, and happiness. There is this pure glee of just being.

Since then, we have been told and conditioned that we are not good enough, something is wrong with us, everything is lacking, etc, etc, etc. The view of the world being tinted darker and darker until the world and yourself no longer shines.

It does not have to be this way, of course. Delve into your own conditioning, your belief, your concepts, etc. that are creating unhappiness. Cease creating unhappiness and misery for yourself. Also, delve within and find the spring of causeless happiness within. Accomplish both of these and you will be happy regardless of your age…returning to the natural joy and happiness of early childhood.

Does life get boring when you get old(+40)?

My sister is 41. She has three kids and is happily married

She goes out 2-3x a week

She does her workouts (HIT training) 3x a week for 45 minutes

She has date night with her partner once every 2 weeks

She holidays 2/3x a year (1x with her girlfriends)

Her life is far from boring.

My brother is 38. He has two kids and is happily married

He goes out 2x a month

He plays football 1x a week

I don't know if they have date night

He holidays...I don't know if he holidays

His life sounds boring. Hers does not. But they're both happy.

Boring is personal and relative and a matter of:

Your means

What you find fun

How you approach life :)

Why is it harder to date people as you get older?

I'm older and single. I don't date. I'm reasonably attractive and I haven't given up entirely, but I've had a few near misses in the past six months. People I was attractive to who attracted me. I've gotten better at discerning problems at the inset.

Man one is someone I've worked with for almost 9 years and I've always liked him. We spent time together at the company chairity volunteer day and hit it off. We emailed back and forth (he works on the 3rd floor, I work on the 4th- our company allows for relationships as long as they do not interfere with work) for about six months and we finally had dinner. I found out it was a date when he insisted on paying. He is very risk adverse, I am not. He might think I'm attractive or funny, but real me would freak him out. I couldn't.

Man two is the father of my child's friend. He is my type. (musician, builds stuff, sensitive, funny) problem is… he's just gone through an awful divorce. He sends out mixed messages because he's hurting and needy. I can't.

I don't go out much. My world has gotten very small. Babysitters are expensive. Online dating is not for me. I can't do social gymnastics. Lightning might strike someday, I guess…I'm am odd duck on my best day. And I'm 46. I have a lot of water under the bridge. I'm terrified.

It used to be that I was pretty and interesting. That was enough. If I waited something would happen. Someone would happen. Now, I don't know? I don't want it enough to overlook the problems I can see coming up on the horizon.

Edit: this answer doesn't say what I wanted to say. It's been bugging me. Still doesn't hit it but, whatever.As we age in life many do say, our responsibility, our ailments, our bills, our worries have become a reason for .

However, if one realizes it’s happiness which gives us fulfillment then no matter what life has in store for us we should live a Happi life.

Problems in any areas health, wealth or relationship should not determine who we are. When we think of these problems as problems you have to find solution for it would still work. It becomes an issue when we say we are in a problem. This will not give us a 360 degree picture of your problem or the ability to solve it.

We can’t control aging however, you can certainly control your happiness.

Being Happi is your choice

Happivani

Your Inner Happiness Catalyst.

I find that dating as I get older is more difficult because we all come with baggage and we are less willing to take someone else's baggage on. We all start out at something close to zero and move up from there.

In the beginning physical attraction and shared interest is enough. We were all just children a minute ago. Then life happens and we diverge. At some point we see patterns in our lives.

“I know what I don't want…ever again”

The law of attrition happens. We last, brave soldiers are carrying baggage trains. We drop in and out. We are less physically attractive, we are damaged but yet we still hold some value. We are, in ways, polished.

At some point we become desperate…or we don't. It all becomes a factor of how much you want it. I have experience in a bunch of problems I don't want. You probably have experience in a bunch of problems you don't want.

I don't really want your baggage train. I can assume I'm pretty annoying. Actually, for an easy-going person, I am really annoying. You don't want my baggage train.

Multiply this by all older people and you get an answer. No one wants to die alone but it's more complicated as you get older. Complicated is hard.

Too complicated for me.

Financial Problems

Health issues

Loss of near and dear ones.It becomes harder to be happy as you age due to many reasons. The three main reasons are: Given above.What are the things that make you happy in your life?

During my childhood, my parents went through a lot of financial crisis. It was one thing after another.

First, my grandfather fell sick. My father spent a lot of money on him, but we couldn’t save him. He passed away when I was in kindergarten.

Then, before my father could get out of the financial issues from his medical bills, his business partner cheated on him. So, he lost a lot of money.

Again, before we could get out of that, my grandmother fell sick and we spent a lot of money. But, unfortunately she passed away fighting cancer.

In spite of all this, my father always made every passing day better for us. I used to see all my school friends go on trips during summer holidays with their family. Few went on International trips as well. For us, even a trip to our hometown was a luxury. We were not able to afford such things in our life. An International trip was a dream!

We had a snack quota of 5 Indian rupees, every evening. I used to go in the evening to buy snacks for me and my elder sister using that 5 rupees. I still remember, one day, I got something for 6 rupees. It was 1 rupee more than what we were supposed to use. I bought it along with other groceries and went back home.

I was so worried I overused the money. I told my mom that I will compensate it with buying stuff for 1 rupee lesser the next day. She hugged me and cried.

That day has distinctively stayed on my head.

Fast forward to few years later.

I scored good marks. I got into a good college. I got a good job. I moved to another company with a better salary. I bought them a house.

I took them on a domestic flight. Their very first flight journey. My mom was super happy.

Then, I moved to Paris and now I am bringing them here for few days. Yes, they got their visa approved yesterday and my dream is coming true! And, my mom is more happy.

They’re going to be on their very first International flight soon. I am going to take them around in Paris <3

You ask me, “what makes me happy?”

I say, “it’s to surprise and give back as much as I can and as long as I can to the two people who made so many sacrifices to get me where I am today!”

Giving back to parents is not an obligation guys, it’s one of the most important purpose of our life! :)

No its not about age but yes some people fill their lives with more a d more expectations.

As they grow old, their bucket list instead of emptying, keep on piling up.

Instead of being satisfied they keep on running behind show off.

Instead of practicing gratitude, they keep on complaining about things, situations etc.

Instead of being proud of their life journey, they keep on regretting.

Hence for immature people it's difficult to keep happy as they grow older. think just the opposite is what happens.

I have seen very few pissed off 80 year olds. As you age and gain experience with life you discover the lies you have been told thru education, media, politics, and those who only want to separate you from your time, money, and often virtue. After enough repetition of the continuous flow of lies which are repeatedly perpetrated upon you, you grow immune to all the power those who I mentioned hold over your head and begin to live more freely, confidently, and contentedly.

Have you ever bought a product that claims to be the “best” or a “cure-all” for what is missing in your life, but once you get it you wonder what the hype was all about realizing its not the answer to everything that ails you, and that you have wasted your time and money? Then the next time the “greatest” new product comes along promising to fix your life woes and bring you happiness, instead of buying the lie again you simply go outside into the true world where the sun shines upon your face and you enjoy the treasures of family, friends, nature, and live life in the present moment, the only place where true happiness is found.

That’s getting older

Harder to be happy as you age it's harder to change as you age so if you can't change things in your life cuz you fear them you're not going to be happy learn how to change change is wonderful. Even as we age it's harder for us to change things but not be happy it's harder to change they fear it don't fear itDoes life get less exciting when you get older?

My life hasn't gotten less exciting as I've aged; just the opposite . It's gotten more exciting.

I do more now than I did ten or twenty or thirty years ago. I have greater skill in more areas and work on more projects. I accomplish more. I travel more.

If life is getting less exciting for you, do something to change that. Explore new things! Step out of your comfort zone! It's a vibrant and beautiful world. The colors haven't faded, you're just not seeing them. You can change that. :)

just because you see babies in a glorious state of happiness, doesn’t mean adults can’t do so.