Survival Guide to Middle School

I considered typing up a guide to survive high school, but since I haven't finished it yet (and I know crazier things are waiting to happen), it would be most in my jurisdiction to create this, your ultimate instruction for three years of awkwardness, klutziness, girls turning on each other, the last time you'll be taller than the boys, and more. Welcome to junior high, my friends!

Now, this world isn't for soft-taco-shell hearts, and must be tread carefully and with caution. You're in that phase where teachers hate you no matter what on most occasions. Not beautiful nor chill enough to be high schoolers (whom teachers love by the way, or at least, let slack), nor cute and bubble-gum-sparkly-eyed to be elementary school kids, but rather, blunderbusses pretending to be cool when they're actually just as plain and snappish as any sour neighbor with her hands on her hips next door. No offense intended, but we need to be blunt here if you want any sort of chance to succeed.

First off, I know you're thinking of raiding the mall and buying up every piece of clothing a la mode, like typical wannabe Regina Georges, and I understand the temptation. As a sixth grader, once I saw my classmates in cute Hollister sweaters and squeaky clean Adidas, with glam in every hair flip, and pearly white manicures, I squirmed in my baggy brand-less shirts, unkempt nails, and ugly pants, even though they looked nice when I think about it now. I was just another pimple-studded anxious tween who wanted to "fit in", without considering what "fitting in" even was. Think about it for a minute. Who decides fitting in anyway? We all are made up of unique DNA, so how in the world are we supposed to conform if we are biologically unable to?

Anyway, my point is that this ideal of fitting in isn't even plausible. I would say "be yourself", but to hell with that, because who really knows who they are anyway? I didn't, and neither did Plato, Socrates, and Descartes when they descended to their venerable graves. Bless their hearts, but if the efforts of some of the wisest philosophers and mathematicians in human history proved fruitless, it probably duly applies to the rest of us mortals.

I'm not saying we don't have the ability to grow and change.

In fact, I encourage everyone, myself included, to adopt new habits. Take care of ourselves, our grooming, our posture, our mental and physical health. I've noticed that focusing on problems and factors we cannot control, like the obstinacy of our politicians, whether our teachers hate us or not, starving children around the globe, basic healthcare being strangled in the choke-hold of big pharma, only emboldens and enlarges them in our minds, making them bigger and bigger, until they loom ignominiously over us in a dark claustrophobic room as we cower with fright. If we can shift the power of that laser-beam focus onto ourselves, our self growth, our self-love...we can take on the world.

Now, back to fitting in.

We can grow, we can change, but we should never do these things to please someone else. Whether it's the cute jock whose locker is adjacent to ours, or the quintessential I-only-shop-on-Rodeo-Street gaggle who nitpicks everyone else's relative poverty of fashion taste, no one should ever dictate the way we behave and carry ourselves, or what impressions we make on those around us.

Just because we haven't got ourselves figured doesn't mean we let others do it for us. Remember, we all have a voice. It can be used for whatever purpose you deem fit, but it is yours to keep, protect, and empower through everyday actions.

Whether it's choosing to sit with the intelligent and academically-sensible people at lunch to challenge yourself, sticking up for a friend, or refusing to blindly hop on the band-wagon that is peer pressure, your voice is the ultimate tool for good or evil, and is what defines your principles, and what forms your autonomy. Especially in middle school, when we're tempted to throw every part of ourselves out the window to "fit in", hold on tightly to your voice, because it translates to adhering to your identity. Even though it's still developing as we speak, your identity needs the consolidation and strength your voice provides it, and "fitting in" demolishes that security, and with it, your power as an individual.

My friends: it's a tough world out there, and middle school is just a spit-on-your-neck, kick-you-in-the-crotch-fantastic sample of it. However, the silver lining is that it's an experimenting ground for you. Make a policy of trying out everything at least once (minus drugs, cigarettes, and things that could damage you).

Ask out that girl or guy you really like. Play with your hair color. Laugh out loud with friends at lunch. Throw on a baggy sweater and a pair of comfy pants. Say yes to parties, sleepovers, and study sessions. Just do it. You never know what you'll stumble across on the way.

Live your best life, and get ready to make a crap ton of mistakes.

But never, ever lose you voice to "fit in".

But always be willing to grow.

Or just finish whatever you're binging right now first. The world can wait :)