Stress Reduction Tips for Secondary School Teachers

My life in education began at the ripe old age of five. On a sunny, late-summer, prairie day in September, 1958 I was preparing to enter a school building for the very first time. As I recall, I was afraid for my life, but my mother assured me, as I climbed into the family Chevy, that this was something that everyone did and that it would be the first day of the greatest adventure on which I would ever embark. She held my hand as she pulled me out of the car and ushered me up the worn wooden steps into, what I later learned was, a vestibule – a word I have never forgotten and that is now as synonymous with education for me as any of the thousands of others I have studied in my decades in the business. Anyway, the vestibule spilled into my first ever classroom, which seemed like an airport hanger in size, covered with color and pictures and charts and blackboards and alphabets (though I didn’t know what an alphabet was at the time). I met new earth people like Wendy Gill and Jordy Merrick and Ivalee Nayko and Donnie Wilson. Donnie Wilson was on his second tour of duty in Grade One, so he was the go-to guy whenever I needed important information about what was going on. Anyway, I have been pretty much going to school ever since – almost 60 years – and my mother was right. It has been a most excellent adventure. I finished high school in 1970 and then went on to University where I obtained my B.S. (and everyone knows what B.S. stands for). I then left the school system for awhile and farmed but during that time, I took courses in coaching and in agricultural production so really, I was continuing a formal education as well as taking part in the whole experiential process of farming. After seven years on the farm, I returned to university a second time and I got another type of B.S. Many of my friends referred to it as simply a finer form of the original B.S. Feeling that regular B.S. was not enough, I went on to garner my M.S. which as you may or may not know, stands for More of the Same. Many years later I completed my PH.D. which stands for the fact that the B.S. was Piled Higher and Deeper!! Regardless, I was by now a true advocate of formal education at any level. I longed for school and the school environment whenever I was away from it. I yearned for the smell of classrooms and gymnasiums, the magic of the first day in autumn and the relief and sense of freedom that came with the last day in June. I have loved over 3500 Fridays and fought depression through nearly the same number of Mondays. School has become and always will remain a grand part of who I am. But, with all that wonder and amazement also comes a great deal of stress from time to time. The stress of heavy responsibility; the stress that comes when it is time for supervisory evaluation; the stress of job security; the stress of constantly managing student behavior as superiors and colleagues dictate it should be managed. It is difficult to control these stressors because they are often out of our control and within the pay-grades of some administrator or supervisor working great distances from the front lines of educational realism. The stress of marking student work and reporting student progress, however, may be within our wheelhouse of control, simply because we are often allowed to put a bit of our signature on these practices from time to time. And with these thoughts of teacher stress resulting from marking and reporting of student work and progress, I now address the causes and remedies of such in the essay that follows.

It is best that the reader understands my take on the issue of student evaluation in schools – a practice that, at times is so arbitrary and fault-riddled and teacher-biased, the results are nothing more than a joke. So, before continuing, it would be worth the reader’s while to reacquaint themselves with a straight-faced satirical essay entitled “A Modest Proposal”. It was written in 1729 by Jonathon Swift and deals with a plan for lessening the burden on poor Irish Catholic families, caused by having to raise large numbers of children. The tone of Swift’s essay may shed some light on the tone one should consider while examining my proposals that follow.

One of the duties listed in the job description of every teacher on the planet is the evaluation of student progress. Over the years and years and years that I have spent in this field, I have jived with terms like formative assessment, summative assessment and effective evaluation. I have waltzed around assessment for learning and limboed with assessment of learning and even done the fox trot with the idea of assessment instead of learning. I have studied effective feedback, learned the ins and outs of efficient objectivity in formal assessment instruments. I have constructed tests, analyzed tests, written tests, marked tests, thrown tests in the garbage can, dug tests out of the garbage can, and kicked the crap out of the garbage can when I couldn’t find my tests. Then after all the testing, I had to report the results of the tests. Should I use a letter grade or a number grade. What category weightings do I use – my own or the same as all the other people in my department (or school, or planet, or universe . . .). All of this leads to a hell of a lot of stress and eventually that stress can take its toll on one’s health and well-being. So, I have come up with what I believe to be a masterful plan for reducing the stress a secondary school teacher encounters around the exercise of marking student work and reporting student progress.

The Plan

The plan I have arrived at is tailored for all teachers at all grade levels and in all content areas. It is guaranteed to be as effective for a rookie teacher as for an experienced teacher – for all those with little time, experience or energy. It can and will work for coaches, applied arts teachers, near-retirees or near-deads. It seems so sure-fire and easy, I am surprised that nobody has ever thought of it before.

Step 1 – refresh all Test-Making programs and Grade Managing Systems you presently have on your computer – you will no longer need the data contained therein.

Step 2 – go to the photocopy room and collect as many empty paper boxes as you need to hold all your old exam, quiz and test copies and fill them up and put them outside in a big pile.

Step 3 – buy a tiger torch and set the pile of boxes on fire.

Step 3.5 – bring the tiger torch back to the store and tell them it doesn’t work and get your money back.

Step 4 – (and this is the crucial step) – with the money you get from returning the tiger torch, buy a nice high-quality dart board. You need to find one that will fit in your classroom. While you are in the buying mood, also purchase a deck of cards, a set of 5 dice and perhaps a roulette wheel. I realize that these purchases will set you back some cash but, as I am about to illustrate, the time you save not having to make up any more tests, quizzes and exams will free you to make some extra cash on the side doing other odd jobs. If you also calculate the reduced stress factor and your resultant longer life this new method affords, it won’t take long to realize that your total working years will also be increased. In the long run then, you will actually be far ahead in the financial scheme of things.

Step 5 – set the dart board up in your classroom and use it in the following manner for student evaluation:

1. When test scores are required for students, simply throw a single dart at the board. If 5 scores are required – throw 5 darts (or one dart 5 times). Record the scores. If the scores need be a percentage score or a mark out of 100, then multiply by 5. Tests and quizzes out of 20 can be recorded by using the raw dart board scores. Reassessment becomes much less of a task as well. The teacher can simply remove the darts and toss them again. Instead of waiting for days and perhaps weeks to organize student and teacher schedules or times so that a retest can be given one can simply step up to the dart and rethrow right then and there! No more staying up all night trying to come up with new questions for a reassessment version of a Math exam. And naturally, the best score is recorded so the student benefits as well. Even more time can be saved if the teacher simply throws two consecutive darts and records both scores in the first place – the first score being the original test mark and the second being the retest mark (to be used later if necessary). To avoid unwanted scrutiny by ambitious administrators, the teacher could reinstall the Grade Managing Software used by the school and keep track of all the dart scores in creatively named categories and assignments within the spreadsheets provided for each class.

2. If a pop-quiz or surprise test is the order of the day, the teacher can throw the darts while blind-folded. If the student is to be partially penalized for demanding a reassessment thus calling for a lower mark having a maximum that is a fraction of the original, the darts can be thrown with the non-dominant hand. Independent or non-biased grading can be achieved by having a friend (high-school buddy, 2nd floor janitor) throw the darts.

3. Student self-evaluation also becomes a fairly straight-forward exercise. You guessed it – simply let the student throw their own darts and subsequently have them enter their scores into the master recording program.

4. For Multiple Choice tests, the teacher can use darts of different colors (i.e. red for A, yellow for B, etc.) – so if there are 4 distractors in the question, throw darts of 4 different colors and add the scores of the four darts to obtain a total score for the test.

5. If the teacher is marking at home and doesn’t want to be bothered with bringing home the dartboard, the names of the students can be written on postcards and tossed downward from the top of the staircase into the basement. The student names landing on the highest stair-step would receive a mark in the 90% range, the next step would yield marks from 86-89%, the next step would garner a B+ and so on. If the teacher is flying to a vacation spot or travelling by train or bus (and happens wisely to be carrying their newly-purchased set of die), the pull-down meal tray table could be deployed and used as a dice table. In this case one should always inquire if those around you are bothered by the sound of dice clattering around on plastic (let them know how many students you have and how many tosses that equates to. There will probably be some sympathy when they find out you are a teacher and that you are in the midst of some pretty heavy mid-term assessment while on your way to the Maldives Islands say). They should probably also be asked if they mind retrieving the odd loose, get-away dice that bounces erratically off the table during minor (or major) episodes of unexpected turbulence. This, of course means that they will have to brave the risks of unfastening a seat-belt to scoot across the aisle once in awhile to assist you. Regardless, the dice could be tossed singly and then have scores multiplied according to the test score total or they could be rolled two at a time with each dice representing a digit in the score for the exam. Ten-sided dice can be purchased to better facilitate this latter option. Note – when travelling on city buses or subways, the coin (heads / tails) methodology is probably the most effective practice for determining student test scores due to over-crowded conditions and sudden stopping and starting in normal city traffic. In all cases, any of these means are far superior to spreading out dozens of test papers on seats and tables while trying to compare answer key responses to student work.

6. When it comes time for comments to be included, the playing cards you have on hand are probably your best friend. There are two methods and your choice of method will depend on time and space constraints in the marking environment. a) Divide the general category of comments according to the suit of the card – i.e. clubs represent behavioral comments, diamonds are connected to attitude, hearts signify the social dynamic displayed by the student and spades are used to comment on the academic ability of the student. Next the teacher draws two cards, if the second card drawn is the same suit as the first, another draw is made until the cards are of two different suits. If the card drawn is a low denomination the comment is a negative comment for that category; if the card is 5, 6, 7 or 8 then the comment is neutral or innocuous for that category; if the card is a 9 to an ace, the comment would show appropriate degrees of positivity. The ace of spades would yield the “Congratulations, you have the top mark in the class” comment. b) The 2nd method requires a little more work on the teacher’s part, which is what we are trying to avoid here so screw that method.

In summary, I feel that tests, assessments and reassessments presently given by teachers to their students in efforts to evaluate progress and to play a role in reporting progress are no doubt riddled with flaws and incongruencies. Teacher mistakes, lack of clarity, time constraints, reporting period timelines, poor teacher mental or physical health, emotions, etc., etc. will cause anywhere from 5% – 50% swings in either direction in student marks over the course of a school semester. Why not eliminate the stress involved with marking and reporting – making the teacher’s life more blissful so they are not such jerks in the classroom and at home to their friends and families – and at the same time possibly making the whole assessment thing at least as accurate if not more so. Let me repeat, join the Freedom from Stress Teachers group and buy a dartboard, a set of die and a deck of cards and get down to some serious ASSESSMENT IN SPITE OF LEARNING!!!