I Only Have One Shot, I Cannot Waste It

The odds of having a second chance are very low. I have to win this.

My Ph.D. entrance test is 9 days away. I have little knowledge about the subject matter compared to the rest of the candidates. Yet, optimism is my ally. I have always won such challenges despite my disadvantage. Sounds arrogant? Well, I decided to voice my thoughts anyways.

Here Is The Deal

Graduating from University couldn’t be easier than it was. Five years in the English department, MA in British Civilization and Literature. The last word is the source of the problem: they didn’t teach us literature. Guess what is the only open Ph.D. field this year? God damn literature.

Our curriculum was perhaps the most comprehensive British and Anglo-American history program in Algeria. Everything else was tertiary and done in a hurry. The teachers themselves said that our department was never a literature department.

Matters are highly centralized here. So, The ministry of Higher Education determines which Ph.D. projects are to run. For those who wish for free college, you might want to consider a second opinion. Such managerial and economic approaches either don’t work, or no one should claim to know better because we keep having the same result. The ministry decided that no Civilization and Translation Ph.D. projects will be accepted this year. So, what happens to Graduate students? Two options: don’t apply or apply for a second specialty (intrude).

I went with the second option. A weird and questioning intonation covered my friends’ voices when I informed them of my decision: it is two years of focused training in literature! You are a smart guy, and I believe in you, but I won’t do it, you go ahead! I feel like an imposter, weirdly enough.

Confidence and naivety often go hand in hand. Disillusionment follows. Then, the lesson slaps you in the face and wakes you up. Will this be the case? Who knows? The only thing one could do is dare, try, and push beyond the familiar. Isn’t this what literature is all about? If the test is about the spirit of art, I will humbly say that I stand the same chance the others have. If it is more specific, then I should be prepared. I haven’t been doing a good job preparing.

I have to make money, and I had no stable source of income during my years of University. The issue was the choice between experimenting and specializing. My personal problem is that I can’t specialize until I guarantee that the thought process that led to the particular path is logically coherent. The result was: great experience, wider perspective than ever, and a hard-hit from reality (I need a source of income). Not that I didn’t know this, it’s just that I pushed it too far. I should have decided on something sooner.

During my years in Uni, I achieved Google’s Digital Marketing Certification, HubSpot’s Inbound Marketing Certification, A 32h course from Michigan called “HighStakes Leadership: Leading in Times of Crisis,” And I learned one or two things about fitness, technical analysis, and online business. One’s mind could only process so much. Lesson learned. I had my fun. Now, I need to focus and earn some income.

Gigs on Freelance websites are slow to bloom. I offered writing and English tutoring services, but no proposals got accepted, it’s only been 5 days. What should I do? Go back to marketing again. I can’t. I only have 9 days to make some money for my trip to take the test. I made good summaries of books I have found useful and uploaded them to platforms where you could sell your notes, but nothing happened. People didn’t even open them. I am sure they’d like them if they do, but these platforms have no traffic. I asked people about it because I felt my notes weren’t worth it.

I only have one shoot. I lose, I am done for a year. I will be working on BS jobs that pay nickels per hour. Eminem comes to mind. Look, I am not vomiting Mom’s spaghetti (I love spaghetti actually), my knees aren’t weak, my arms aren’t heavy. I feel like I can do it, but reason says otherwise: look kid, you are intruding on other people’s specialty? Do you really think you can do this? You can lie to strangers online, but you can’t lie to me. I am you, idiot!

I will not lie to myself. Thus, an accurate description of the situation is necessary: it is a jump! And I need an efficient and doable plan.

Plan OneShot

Go ahead, I am waiting for your jokes about my plan’s title… you’re good!

Every plan starts with goals and a framework to identify them: I choose the good old SMART framework (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely.

I have two goals

1. Make 40$ from freelance gigs (teaching, writing, selling notes) to cover my trip expenses before the 5th of March.
2. Pass the Admission exam.

Let’s break them into objectives.

1. Apply for freelance gigs daily with different forms of proposals: writing and tutoring English. This stops on March 3rd.
2. Try to sell your documents or give 1–1 online sessions teaching one of these subjects: English, literature, Marketing, and business.
3. Study two Contemporary American literary studies; 1 book in 3 days.
4. Write an essay about two topics about Contemporary American Literary Studies before March 4th.
5. Final revision on March 4th.

Note: I have been consistent in my workouts for a month now (4–5 times a week). However, I couldn’t break from the habit of watching too much YouTube. This could be fatal. I have realized that our subconscious mind needs free time away from new information to process what we have learned — I read it for the first time in Cal Newport’s book Deep Work. It is a good thing I read HeadSpace by Andy Puddicombe. Mindfulness will be helpful for sure.

Daily tasks will include writing short updates, like this one, and sharing them on social media.

Do You know someone I can Help?

I can offer:

1. Writing services(blog, article, essay, translation, editing, proofreading, Academic research consultation).
2. Tutoring (basic level English, history, literature, marketing, and starting an online business).
3. My summaries of the best resources I could find (Deep Work by Cal Newport, Headspace by Andy Puddicombe, Inbound Marketing by HubSpot, Research Methodology made from multiple university handouts plus my own research, and Google’s Digital Marketing course).
4. I will publish my two essays on Patreon. Patrons will receive the summaries as well.

Here is my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/oussamasaci

My Email: [email protected]

My LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/oussama-saci-274779132

My Instagram: Oussama Saci (@oussamasaci_official) • Instagram photos and videos

Thank You for reading this!