How to defend yourself in English

"Hi. Yeah. Okay. Hi." - Greetings and simple responses are exchanged. "Today, I want to teach you some English for self-defense in a way, like karate, jiu jitsu, Krav Maga." - I will be instructing you on using English for self-protection, similar to martial arts. "I know it's... People think it's not a martial art, but it is." - Although some people may not consider it a martial art, it actually is. "And he's wearing his black belt from doing karate." - He is displaying his black belt earned in karate. "Ah. Why? Once a long time ago... Well, not that long ago, but I had a student, and although I had many great stories to tell about students, this one was a sad story because I really liked this student." - I had a student I deeply cared about, and although I have many positive experiences with students, this particular one saddened me. "He was one day in the subway, and he said he noticed someone... trying to ask for help from one of the workers at the subway." - One day, he observed someone seeking assistance from a subway staff member. "And that person, he could tell was being rude to them, but he didn't know what to say." - He recognized that the person was being impolite, but he wasn't sure how to respond. "He didn't have the words because, unfortunately, in his English classes, we were teaching... how to use them in proper speech and context, and nobody taught him the skills that he would naturally have in his own language, and that we naturally have, we all have when you speak the language." - In his English classes, he was taught vocabulary and grammar but never learned the everyday language skills present in his culture and our shared language. "I'm going to use a common word, like a comeback, but really it's a... It's a phrase or a sentence to let someone know that just because I'm learning the language doesn't mean I'm ignorant, I mean, I don't know." - I will demonstrate the use of a common word, such as a comeback, as a means to convey that even though I am still learning the language, it doesn't mean I lack knowledge or understanding. "I don't know you're being rude to me and you're being disrespectful, and I don't like it." - I am unaware of your disrespectful behavior towards me, and I find it unpleasant. "So this lesson is to teach five ways that you can engage with people to let them know, 'Hey, I may not be, you know, perfect in your language, but I understand you're being disrespectful or you're not being intelligent at this point in time, and I want to let you know.'" - The purpose of this lesson is to provide you with five methods of addressing individuals who are disrespectful or lacking in intelligence, without me being fluent in their language. "The best thing about it is if your language skills in English are a little bit weak and you say something like this, they're going to be so shocked that I doubt most of them will want to do anything disrespectful to you in the future because they'll be afraid of what might come out of your mouth next." - Interestingly, if your English proficiency is limited and you respond in this manner, they will be taken aback, potentially deterring them from engaging in disrespectful conduct in the future due to fear of your potential response. "Cool? Now, if you're ready for that, let's go to the board. We've got Mr. E going to 'Hiya', and the first one is about respect." - Are you ready for this? If so, let's move on. On the board, Mr. E will demonstrate a self-defense move, and the first technique focuses on respect. "So what I want to do here, oops, is I want to put a point down, because we want to talk about boundaries and kindness." - Here, I will make a note to discuss boundaries and kindness. "Okay? So, what I'm doing with this one, I'm going to say something like, I'm going to say, 'I'm not used to being talked to in that way. I don't... I don't like... Sorry. I don't like being spoken to in a disrespectful way, but I do feel that whatever's happening is making you upset or sad, and I'd like to talk about it. Can we do that?'" - To address a disrespectful comment, I would express, "I am not accustomed to being spoken to in such a manner. I don't appreciate being treated disrespectfully. However, I recognize that something may be bothering you, and I am open to discussing it. Would you be willing to engage in a conversation?" "Now, what I just said was two things... I'm saying as long as you respect my boundary and don't speak to me in that way, I will help you or try to help you feel better or try and make this work." - In my previous statement, I conveyed two points: by respecting my boundary and not using disrespectful language, I will willingly assist you and strive to improve the situation. "So it talks about respect, respect for the other person and respect for yourself. You're asking them to respect you, and you will respect them and help resolve the problem or situation." - This approach emphasizes the significance of respect for both oneself and the other person involved, ultimately aiming to resolve the issue by mutually acknowledging and valuing each other's boundaries. "Okay, now number three... Sometimes when people are being rude, they're trying to put responsibility or blame on you, because they don't want to take blame for something." - In certain instances, when someone behaves rudely, they attempt to shift responsibility or assign blame to you as a means to avoid acknowledging their own faults. "So, like, 'I didn't do it, it was your fault, it was your responsibility, blah, blah, blah', and they can be very rude." - For example, they might say, "I didn't do it. It was your fault or your responsibility," expressing their refusal to accept accountability, which can be coupled with impoliteness. "In fact, I know a situation that happened recently with someone I work with, someone came to them and said, 'Don't tell people that I did this. I'm not responsible when they actually did it.' And the other person was like, 'Back up. Don't try and get me in trouble for what you have done.'" - Recently, a colleague of mine encountered a scenario where someone claimed, "Don't reveal that I committed this act. I can't be held accountable," despite actually being responsible. Understandably, the recipient of this comment firmly responded, "Stop attempting to implicate me in your actions."