How to Conquer Yourself – The First Victory

The deeper I go into myself, the more I realize that I am my own enemy.” — Floriano Martins

Freedom is overrated. If it were so important, what do people choose to keep their dreams captive?

We all want to be free but are unable to be free.

Prison inmates confront fear and anxiety upon release. They can’t handle being free. Most ex-convicts re-offend deliberately because they can’t cope with their freedom.

That’s the paradox that’s holding you back.

We are so used to live in our comfort zone, that being imprisoned feels safer. Fear, routine, procrastination, busyness, comparing to others, and self-doubt, — that’s why you are keeping what you love behind bars.

The sky is not the limit; you are. Your life is boundless, and so are your possibilities. However, you must first conquer what’s holding you back: your mind.

Napoleon Hill said: “If you don’t conquer self, you will be conquered by self.” Your most significant challenge lies within you. Not at the gym or work.

Are you ready to explore your inner-self?

Conquer Your Mind

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

You create your own suffering. According to science, most of our problems are not caused by reality, but by our perceptions. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) helps people take ownership and accept their role in ‘creating’ their own suffering. As American Psychologist Albert Ellis says: “People don’t just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.”

It is not what happens that holds you back, but the judgmental beliefs about yourself

See what happens when you reframe your thoughts.

1. Don’t try to be happy if you want to be truly happy

Your pursuit of happiness can quickly turn into an obsession. The more you chase it, the less you will enjoy it. We expect happiness to happen to us, rather than develop appreciation.

Consciously or not, we all desire and fear happiness at the same time. Train your mind to value what you have rather than feeling frustrated because of what you don’t.

Happiness is a by-product, not a goal. Start by appreciating small chores. Enjoying something is the path towards loving it in the long run.

2. Stop blaming others

What others do is on them. How you react is on you. No one out there will let you out of your (perceived) misery. Stop waiting for someone to fix your problems. It’s up to you.

Other people can influence how you live, only if you let them. Being in charge of your life is your responsibility.

Jim Carrey said: “The decisions we make at this moment are based on either love or fear. So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality.”

When you stop blaming, you start owning your life’s course.

3. Adapt, as water does

Fighting what you can’t manage or what didn’t go your way, will only get you stuck. Adapting to reality doesn’t mean giving up your dreams. On the contrary, when you stop fighting lost battles you can focus your energy on what really matters.

Learn to be fluid and adaptive as water.

Lao Tzu said: “Water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.”

4. Stop overthinking and jump

Take the leap. Move into action.

There’s no worse outcome than being paralyzed. No one has the answers to what’s right. You’ll learn as you go. The more you do something, the better you become at it. Mastery requires practice. Doing is how you get there.

Jumping into action is easy once you stop thinking about the consequences. If babies could think, they’d never learn to walk.

Learn to trust your second brain, your gut. Said Shelley Levit: “It’s good to have a bright, analytical brain, but at the end of the day, the stomach is the smartest organ in the body.”

5. Learn to live with your thoughts, not through them

There’s a wolf inside us all battling to take over. When you feed your thoughts, you let the beast take over. Thinking is natural, but looking at life through your thoughts will eat you alive.

Your thoughts distort your perspective. Get rid of that lens.

Taming the negative wolf, not killing it — that’s how you neutralize your thoughts from causing you pain and suffering. Don’t let your thinking stop you from doing what you love.

“You create your thoughts. Your thoughts create your intentions. And your intentions create your reality.” — Wayne Dyer

Your mind is what’s holding you back. It’s time for your dreams to take over.