How to Become A Great Listener?

Learning how to be a great listener, is one of the hardest things I have ever struggled with. Not knowing that it's something everyone at some point in in their life struggle with too. My communication skills were little to none, meaning when I need to say something I didn't. Now I am completely the opposite, people look at me like damn you have a voice. Lol

Have you ever spoke without understanding what the situation was?

We have conversations everyday in school, work, with friends and family on a daily basis. Misunderstandings can happen if you aren't paying attention to the person relaying the message to you. 

We some how tend to listen to part of the message without hearing exactly what the other person we are speaking to is trying to communicate to us. Instead of clarifying the situation, we assume we heard what the other person was saying and responded in a negative way.

Negative responses can impact the situation drastically, where individuals can feel confused, not heard, or even shutdown complete. In order to be a better listener, you have to receive the message and respond in a positive manner. 

I will admit I was one who was quick to respond first and it left me in hot water plenty of times. Now I am more laid back and not so quick to misinterpret what someone else talking to me is trying to express.

What method can you use to improve your listening skills?

The HURIER Model is a six stage behavioral approach to listening developed by Brownell (1996). This model helps strengthen anyone listening skills to allow you to become a better listener so you are receiving the message and understanding the other person you are talking to clearly.

#1 Hearing- We have all said, "I hear you" plenty of times, and in reality we know we didn't hear everything. Listening to what someone is speaking to you is important. No matter who the person is its best to pay attention so you receive the message.

#2 Understanding- Understanding what the person said is important as well. You have to comprehend what is being explained to you. Sometimes you may be confused or don't understand due to the complexity or issue all together.

#3 Remembering- Try your best to retain what the person speaking to you is saying. You never know if you are going to have to remember it later on in the future. I can understand if you have short-term memory, not everything is meant to be stored in the memory bank long-term purposes. Receiving some of the message is better than not retaining anything.

#4 Interpreting- After you have listened to what the other person have spoken to you. Are you able to interpret what they said? As a good listener, we sometimes have the most trouble with this part. Take your time, ask the person to repeat themselves without offending them.

#5 Evaluating- We all like to assume that what the person is telling us is the truth. What happens when you haven't fact-checked the message and found out the information isn't valid? Its best to evaluate the situation for yourself.

#6 Responding- Finally, once you have all the information gathered. You can then respond to what you have heard. The best practice as a good listener is to do it in a positive manner. Giving positive feedback is better than negative feedback. 

Conclusion

It doesn't matter who the person is you are speaking with. Don't hurt someone feelings because you want to. Think about what you are saying and how you would want others to respond back to you.