How to be a better friend

Friendships can end or change over time. Regardless of whether they are new or lifelong, every friendship can benefit from healthy habits. Building strong connections is essential for maintaining friendships. It is always possible to make new friends, no matter your age or circumstances. In a 2008 study, psychologists investigated how friendships influence perceptions. Participants rated the steepness of a hill. Those with a good friend judged the hill as less steep than individuals who were alone. This illustrates how friendships can affect our perspectives and experiences.

Friendships play a significant role in our lives. They can enhance academic performance, help us handle setbacks, and improve overall health. The relationships we form during childhood and adolescence can shape our beliefs, values, and emotional development. While friendships are essential, forming and maintaining them can be challenging.

Many people feel nervous about approaching new individuals. Research shows that participants often underestimate how much strangers like them. After conversations with strangers, individuals rated their likability lower than ratings given by others. This phenomenon is called the “liking gap.” It can be beneficial to remind yourself that others may have a more favorable view of you.

The “acceptance prophecy” illustrates that expecting to be liked can lead to warmer and friendlier interactions. Meeting more new people often increases confidence. In one study, individuals who spoke to one new person daily for a week reported feeling less fearful of rejection and more secure in their conversational skills.

As friendships progress, two important elements emerge: companionship and closeness. Companionship develops from shared hobbies, interests, or values. Simply being part of the same class or team can create this bond. Companionship offers benefits such as improved self-esteem and increased resilience to stress.

Closeness varies in every relationship. It may involve supporting each other during tough times or feeling comfortable sharing thoughts and feelings. Not every friendship needs to be deeply personal from the start. Sharing daily experiences or interests can help foster closeness.

Friendship develops at its own pace, but consistency is beneficial. This includes keeping plans, chatting regularly, and remembering important details about one another. This principle applies even to long-distance friendships. Texting and chatting can help maintain strong connections, provided they remain intimate, trusting, and consistent.

However, friendships can face challenges. This is common in teenage friendships as they navigate new experiences. Competitive situations, like applying to the same college, can create tension. A friend may betray confidence or make hurtful comments. Relationships can also struggle when one person cannot or will not support the other during difficult times.

The best way to resolve issues is to communicate. These conversations can be challenging and awkward. Nevertheless, if approached correctly, they can strengthen friendships. Before discussing difficult topics, aim to show up without judgment. It's important to avoid defensiveness or accusations. Instead, focus on expressing your feelings and invite the other person to share theirs as well.

Friendships can end or change over time. Regardless of whether they are new or lifelong, every friendship can benefit from healthy habits. Building strong connections is essential for maintaining friendships. It is always possible to make new friends, no matter your age or circumstances.