Homeschooling

I hear many things when I tell people I homeschool my children. Some think it's noble. Others believe that they should be in school and that it is a waste of my time. Many are concerned about my children's socialization; however, they can hold an adult conversation better than most adults. When in traditional schooling, the teachers often have to tell students they are there to learn and not socialize. I heard that a lot as a child until I lost my voice and listened to those teachers. Of course, we all want what is best for our children, but when is it okay for others to tell you how to raise your child?

I am often told, "well if you homeschool you will never have a break," or "you will just end up pawning them off on your parents when you need space." The truth is, yes, I never have a break (something I chose on my own), and I don't have parents to "pawn" my children off on. Homeschooling my children was never considered a "noble" deed to me. I considered it a necessity. There are many excellent teachers out there, and I would never talk badly about them; however, those few make it so parents cant trust the good ones.

I have autistic children who touch people and their things because the textures are a perfect stimulant for being overwhelmed. I remember one day I got a phone call from the school because my son touched a girl's sleeve sweater by her wrist, and the parents informed the teacher if he had done it again, he would get sexual harassment charges against him. He was 5. Since he did not fit into this social "normalisy," he became violent towards others to keep them away. When you have a teacher teaching students to chant "Stay away from "insert name here" " you become cold to the whole idea of friends and socialization.

My other autistic son would beg me not to send him to school. Most days, I would have to physically remove him from the car and carry him into the classroom (at the age of 10) because this is required, or you face truancy charges. This teacher was a gem. She is fantastic and even has a safe space in her room for children like my son. However, he would not go to school on days she was out. This would cause fighting (verbal and physical) and screaming on his part and begging and pleading on mine.

Next leads me to my daughter. Her last teacher was anything sort of a nightmare. She found my daughter to be distracting because her biological father shaved all her hair off a few days before she started a new school. Students began to stare and start rumors about her. This teacher informed me that my daughter was "a distration" for the whole class. Including the teacher! This caused her to become suicidal, and she and I spent many visits to the doctor's office. You will never know how truly awful it is to watch a child watch you lock up knives, forks, and scissors because her doctor instructed you to so your child is safer until you live through it.

When I get criticized for homeschooling, all these memories come rushing back in. All the pain they went through because the state said they had to attend school—the bullying from the teachers and students. It weighs heavy on your heart knowing you sent them for at least four years as they cried and begged you not to go. Everyone telling you that you aren't good enough to teach them.

Or my favorite (not really) "It must be nice to be able to afford to stay home and teach your children.". Can I afford it? Yes because a lot of the sources are free. Do we have everything we want? No, but we have everything we need. We have shelter, food, clothes, each other, and a few wants. So next time you see a homeschooling family, do not assume you know why they homeschool or how they operate as a family. Also, remember it isn't all rainbows and sunshine either. It takes a toll on your mental health because, if you are like me, you are teaching five different children who learn in five different ways. It's not a piece of cake. However, it is worth it.