Buying is loving yourself? Don't be brainwashed by consumerism

In fact, in addition to the common suffering of modern people, self-objectification, self-centeredness and self-torture, there are many, many more, and our self-care does not stop there. So let's talk about self-care in life, which is what else can you do in addition to all kinds of little exercises? And what you need to notice.

When you begin to experiment with self-care, or even become really interested in it, you need to be careful to focus more on the process and less on self-care as a task and goal. But in addition, there is another common pitfall of self-care, which is to achieve so-called "self-care" through buying and spending, rather than actually investing attention and energy in yourself.

Although self-care is still a relatively new concept in China, it has gained widespread acceptance in the West, especially among the middle and upper classes, where self-care has become a fairly natural part of people's lives. Those with favorable social and economic conditions will consider how to improve their quality of life in essence; Those with less privileged social and economic conditions will at least consider how to reward themselves for their hard work. And as the public has noticed, businesses have apparently rushed to embrace the concept.

"Pamper yourself", "be nice to yourself"... All sorts of similar goods and services are sold under the label of self-care, and clever marketers are trying to substitute their products for a hand-held self-care -- want to care for yourself? Then spend it! By buying our products, you are treating yourself.

The result is that people are once again defined and divided by material things, as if people with money can have good self-care and people without money can't, or even deserve, good self-care and good life experiences -- people's life experiences are commodified and people are re-objectified.

At least when it comes to self-care, it's all wrong. Self-care and the positive experiences it can bring have little to do with one's income level. Most of the exercises we've talked about don't cost you anything extra to do, and some can even be done standing there.

I can't say that everyone is equal in self-care, but money and status play a much smaller role here than they do in other areas. You will not be a few steps behind because of the status of the first point, also will not be strong because of the deposit a little more where to go, how much you care about how much you harvest, this is the same for everyone. No one can opportunely, no one can replace, because they never deceive themselves, this is a field that can only be paid sincerely, practical harvest.

In fact, one of our most fundamental principles is that as long as the basic needs of survival are met, self-care, by its very nature, should not have to be accomplished through other material consumption. In other words, if you feel like you have to climb to be self-caring, you have to acquire goods to be self-caring, or even you have to purchase services to be self-caring, it's usually a faulty line of thinking.

You may be falling into the trap of some business, or you may be making excuses for your difficulty with self-care, or you may be misunderstanding self-care. Self-care may require energy and time, but it doesn't require much money. Even further, you may want to simplify your relationship with material money to some extent in order to enhance your personal positive experience.

I'm not asking you to reinvent your outlook or radically change your spending habits. But from a self-caring perspective, you might actually consider changing some of your bad spending habits or cutting back on some of the things you consume so they don't get you in trouble. Don't add unnecessary pressure and burden to yourself, which is also a kind of self-care. And, since we can't get rid of the consumer society, nor can we get rid of many basic material needs, how to live reasonably can also be counted as an important part of the financial or environmental self-care, as well as your psychological self-care effective supplement.

Here, I'll give you some ideas that you can try first.

First, it's usually a good idea to reduce your borrowing, not just your mortgage, but also your credit cards and financial apps. It is a very, very good habit to avoid borrowing at all, except for consumption that is rigid demand. That is, unless you have to buy a house, eat, or drive a car, don't borrow money to buy anything. Borrowing can turn non-rigid demand into rigid demand. You don't have to buy something, but once you borrow money to buy it, you have to pay it back. For months to come, you'll have to play hard to make money on it, as if you're going to die if you don't -- and in some private lending cases, you probably will. So, even if you don't have the luxury of extra self-care, I definitely recommend that you, at the very least, reduce the self-inflicted pain.

In this idea, a deeper aspect is about the borrowing of time and body, for example, we will use the time that should be working and studying to play games, and use the time that should be sleeping and resting to work and study... So if you're feeling extremely heavy or uneasy after a long day of gaming or a long night of late, it's really just the stress of a big loan.

Don't borrow unless you have a rigid need, which is true for most aspects of life. The only exception is if you're running a business or investing, but even so, thinking twice about borrowing is an important way to protect yourself.

Second, and perhaps surprisingly, avoiding overspending is also an important part of self-care. We seldom consider when shopping to buy things can bring how many extra burden to yourself, but in fact, these things will not only consume your money, will take up your space, even you still need to take the time to take care of their maintenance and put them in order, good-looking, often do, need maintenance, even sometimes you push the character to others, Leaving it to others to clean up is also causing trouble for others.

As for whether you're overspending, that's easy to test, too. All you have to do is try to move. You don't have to actually move it, just go through all of your stuff in your head, think about what you're not going to take with you, think about how you're going to pack it, how big a car you're going to need to rent to haul it, and how long it's going to take you to unpack it. We often end up collecting more than we need without even knowing it. Clothes we've never worn hanging in our closet, gadgets we bought just because they looked good, skin we can't fit into our game account... There are also some friends, while the credit card debt, while also overspending on things dragged down half to death, that is really called "people and money".

In the face of such problems, I offer here two psychological tips.

First, in the purchase of physical objects, you can try to consider whether to buy in accordance with the premise that you want to move next year, in addition to the necessary consumables, moving is expected to help you reduce a lot of unnecessary material expenses, think of you to breathe breathe handling them, you may suddenly don't want to buy.

Second, use cash from time to time, especially for big purchases in your personal life. If you are dealing in virtual currencies, you can also think about converting them into physical items that you would normally use. Too much use of electronic transactions can make us lose track of how much we're spending, so at least see real money, connect virtual things to the real world, and you might suddenly realize how much of your financial resources you've been consuming without even realizing it.

Of course, some people have a deeper problem, which goes back to self-objectification. If a person equates his or her worth with the material things he or she owns, for example, the car I drive is the kind of person I am, the house I live in is the kind of money I am worth, the bag I wear is the kind of watch I am worth... For such people, in order to increase their sense of self-worth, they must almost constantly earn and spend money to maintain their precarious sense of self-worth. For such students, the use of the above two tips may not work so well, and must go back to repairing their sense of self-worth to help.

Basically, self-care encourages you to think about what brings you real happiness and peace as an individual, rather than blindly following what society, the media, businesses, or even your parents tell you. This is obviously not an easy question, and it is not for anyone to answer it for you. Even observing other people's situations and asking their opinions can often lead to confusion. After all, what makes one person happy can make another person miserable, such as chili peppers.

Therefore, the source of your happiness can only be solved by you, and the solution itself is not complicated. You just need to focus on your own feelings and see if what you are getting, or what others say will bring you a better life, is really giving you a comfortable and reassuring experience. Or let you pay all for it, but still scared.

You also need to reflect on how things affect you. What brings us short-term excitement may not always bring us long-term satisfaction. Is there anything in your childhood memories, in your experiences growing up, in your life that may not have been long but has not been short, that has given you a long-term positive experience? Maybe not everything can be copied, but they will give you clues to find the fulfillment that is truly yours. Of course, if you're saying you're never satisfied in life, you might want to start with the previous exercise.

All right, that's it for this lecture. While we've talked a lot about the problems caused by consumers and businesses, I'm not saying that some well-designed products and services don't support the way we care about ourselves. However, they can only be used as an aid, not a complete replacement for you. Because in any way, the originator and implementer of self-care must first be yourself, and it is ultimately you who will decide whether it is truly valuable and helpful to you.