Regal, Yet Also Ridiculous

King Henry VIII had a bum-wiper. And if you're wondering what the heck that has to do with a somewhat strange photo of an elk, hang with me because we're going on a bit of a ride.

Back to Henry. Silk shirt, velvet robes, jewel-studded gold crown and there he is; leaning forward with his head between his knees and his hands on the floor while someone wiped his bottom for him. Not even kidding. Sorry for the mental picture.

Regal and yet also ridiculous.

We tend to think of those things as being polar opposites, but they really aren't. You'd be surprised at how often they co-exist.

Elk are magnificent, regal creatures.

People often mix up elk and moose, but there's a really easy way to tell the difference. Moose are solitary creatures and most often seen alone. Elk are social animals that hang out in "gangs" of hundreds or even thousands of elk.

You might also know them as Wapiti, which is Shawnee for "white rump" thanks to the light colored bottom end in contrast to the dark brown hair everywhere else.

A male elk weighs 700 to 1100 pounds and has antlers that can be up to 4 feet in height. The antlers alone weigh up to 40 pounds. Female elk are a bit smaller, weighing in at 300-500 pounds, but the smaller size means nothing.

If you were ever to see hundreds of half-ton animals thundering across the Earth, you'd have to agree. They are magnificent and heart-stopping and yes, even regal

They are matriarchal

Every herd has a dominant bull. Generally, he's the most regal of the lot. Usually the one with the biggest antlers. But he has no say in where the herd goes or feeds.

Leadership of the herd is held by an older female who has been successful in rearing multiple generations of calves. The dominant bull is not foolish enough to challenge her.

One of the largest elk herds known is the "Jackson Elk Herd," with an estimated 11,000 members that migrate from the National Elk Refuge in Wyoming to southern Yellowstone. Run by a lady elk.

They are brilliant, too.

Animal researchers believe the female elk can count, because she will always choose the bull with the most points to his antlers as her breeding partner.

If one male has antlers that are 4 feet high with 8 or 9 points, and another has antlers that aren't quite as high, but have 10 points, she will also choose the partner with most points on his antlers.

What does that signify? I have no idea, but they believe it means she is able to understand that 10 is more than 9.

They are also ridiculous drama queens

Elk are highly vocal animals and use all sorts of sounds from barks to mews to communicate. They also talk with their feet. Their ankles can make a crackling noise that they can use at will to signal elk nearby. Like whispering.

When an elk is alarmed, it will raise it's head, rotate it's ears and open it's eyes so wide that the whites show.

Just like the elk in the photo.

Know what all the alarm and kerfuffle was? An itch.

I watched it throw it's head in the air, rotate those ears and open it's eyes so wide the whites were showing. And scratch it's own rump.

It's not the photo I intended to take. I intended to take a shot of this regal creature standing in front of a wall of trees.

It looks ridiculous, but it was kind of fun to watch.

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened” ― Anatole France