Notion

Come and take a walk with me? Allow yourself to drift and wander a little, beyond the stories that we usually and so frequently tell ourselves. We’ll soften the resistance as we go, blurring and blending the once rigid vicinities of your mind. I wonder what will seep in through the emergence of new cracks in your perception, now that they are not so cautiously guarded. Why do we defend ourselves, in order to stay active within a story that we would not have chosen to write for ourselves, do we have a choice? That’s just reality right? Sure, it’s nice to see, hear, smell, taste and touch... but how do you really want to feel?

“Come and take a walk with me?”

“Why, where are we going?”

“On a journey, a voyage of sorts... towards everything you’ve ever wanted.”

“Oh. I don’t know if I believe in all that.”

“Okay, well, what do you want to do instead?”

“I don’t know anymore, I’m so fed up with everything.”

“Then that settles it. Come on let’s go.”

“Okay.”

“So, a long time ago, you began telling me about things that you wanted, let’s see if you still like what I’ve got so far.”

“How do I decide?”

“Well, just take a look, let me know how you feel about it as we go along. You can make adjustments at any time.”

“Erm.. okay, so which way?”

“This way.”

“How do you know that’s the way? Oh... has that little bird statue always been there? It reminds me of the one that we used to have in my Nana’s garden. How come I’ve never seen it before? I walk this way all the time.”

“Well, you’re usually focused on other things, it can be a little tricky to get your attention.”

“To be honest, I’m usually just doing what I think I need to do... or thinking about what I should be doing.”

“Do you like doing that?”

“Well, it’s just the way that it is... Erm... Not really... I guess. No.”

“So what do you want to do?”

“I want to go towards everything I want. But I don’t really know what I want or if I can get there because...”

“Can you let that go for a moment so I can show it to you?”

“I’ll try.”

“You can do it, just ignore it, let’s keep going.”

“But I can still feel that thought in my head. What if it was important?”

“Does it feel good?”

“No. It feels like worry.”

“So is it unwanted?”

“Yes.”

“I know, and that’s okay. Just allow it to be, it will pass soon enough. I promise. Do you remember where we are going?”

“Oh yeah. So, how will I know when we’re there?”

“You’ll know. You’ll know it because you will feel it.”

“Well, how come I’ve never felt it before?”

“That’s because you weren’t looking for it. You always find what you are looking for you see, even if done by default.”

“Hmm. Well, how come you’ve never tried to take me there before?”

“I’m always trying to take you there... and I always will.”

“Well, how come you have chosen now to try to take me?”

“Do you want to go?”

“Yes.”

“Then that’s why. Remember when we were walking towards those things you are wanting, and you saw something you liked just then?”

“Oh yeah! That did feel good but it was probably just a coincidence.”

...

“I’m not saying I don’t want to carry on though.”

“Well, what are you saying?”

“Oh. I think I’m starting to understand what you’re getting at now. Okay here goes. Instead of thinking about what I don’t want... I want to keep going towards what I DO want. Or atleast, I want to know more about what that entails.”

“That made me smile.”

“Me too, but, what do I do if I see something I don’t want?”

“You just recognise what you’re heading towards, let go of it, then find a way to turn yourself around.”

“Surely it can’t just be that simple?”

“It is simple in theory. Do you want to try it?”

“I do, but, I can’t just stop doing everything I don’t like doing. Are you saying I should just give up all my responsibilities and have fun all the time? That sounds like something a child would do.”

“Did you like being a child?”

“Yes.”

“Do you like being an adult?”

“You really know how to hit some nerves don’t you? Erm, let’s keep going.”

“Look up there.”

“Oh yeah I see it, is that a Herron? I used to see one of those on top of the neighbour’s roof when I was younger. I always wondered what it was doing there.”

“Did you like it?”

“Yeah, I like being reminded of the way that I felt when I was younger, watching the world... without a care. I want to be without a care again. How could that be possible in a world that requires so much from me?”

“Likes nostalgia. Noted. What makes you think that anything is required of you?”

“Well, I need to work and pay bills and so on.”

“Do you?”

“Well, how else am I going to pay them?”

“Do you need to pay any bills right now?”

“No, it’s done for this month.”

“Are you in work right now?”

“No. Okay I think I see where you’re going with this.”

“Where am I going with this?”

“Right now, I do just have some free time, and... I suppose I could spend it any way that I want to... so I want to focus on that because it feels good?”

“My child you are learning fast. Keep your focus sharp and in the direction of where you want to head... and off you will go. I take care of the rest.”

“Okay. Thanks. Who are you anyway?”

“You will remember me eventually. Right now, just think of me as, the gentle voice that lets you off the hook and wants you to enjoy yourself.”

“What if I did something bad, would you let me off the hook then? That doesn’t sound right.”

“If that becomes relevant, then ask me again. I’m nice to you because, from what I have observed, that’s what you want.”

“Cant argue with that. I’m still a bit confused about all this... but for some reason, I trust you. I feel like you know me.”

“I know you very well.”

“I want to know you.”

“I think we are getting to know each other very nicely.”

“Yeah, I guess so. I want to carry on going now.”

“Sure.”

“You know, I feel kind of peaceful, I like the idea that maybe this journey could become more real. I really want that to be true. I haven’t felt hope like that for a long time, I think I’m going to sit and ponder on this bench and watch the birds for a while.”

“That sounds like a perfect idea.”

“Do you know something, I think we might have arrived at the first destination. Did I get that right?”

...Birds tweeting...

“Where did you go? I feel like I’m going the right way. Helloo? Wait, is that a tenner under that bush? Yesss! Helloo? Did you do that? Helloo? Thanks by the way.”

Everywhere I go there is money under every bush. Haha. Maybe one day, but there really are so many birds now. They seem to follow me, as though they know how much I light up as I feel them dancing across the sky. Do they like to be admired? Do they feel the exhilaration of the harmony between us? The reaction is visceral, all throughout my body, energy courses through my awareness, blessing every cell. Have they been inspired to their path by the very same notion that inspired me to take a walk? I revel as I allow this concept to flourish within my ever expanding awareness. What a joy it is to be free. To notice what I wish to notice, feel how I wish to feel and think thoughts that delight and mesmerise me. I am free from the cage of the story that I used to think protected me.