It’s Raining...Fish? Halibut-lujah!!!

It’s Raining . . . Fish? Hal(ibut)lelujah!!!

Animals use various, distinctive methods of movement with which to get around: Monkeys swing through forest canopies. Fish swim. Frogs rely upon their prodigious hopping power; yet are somewhat outdone in the leaping stakes by kangaroos and their renowned, highly enthusiastic hopping ability. But sometimes animals defy their usual method of perambulation and are witnessed to travel in a rather more mysterious way; they rain down upon the land.

By the way, if you’re imagining a deluge of kangaroos drumming on down from above, I’m happy to reassure you they are the one group of animals mentioned above that doesn’t have such a history . . . which is probably for the best as these giant marsupials weigh in at up to 90Kg (the weight of the average Dad) and would likely cause quite a bit of damage should they pour down upon an unassuming group of Aussies—although there is the chance that they’d get a free, albeit rather a hairy joint of meat to go chuck on the barbie alongside their shrimp and sliders. Strewth mate, y’want some ketchup on yer ‘roo steak?

But while Australian skies are mercifully yet to be battered by a downpour of kangaroos, its population has witnessed more than its fair share of one of earth’s weirdest phenomena: animals raining on down from up above.

Kangaroos: You'd need quite a big umbrella to keep these off your head . . .

In 2010, Lajamanu, a small town in the Northern Territory, experienced a "rain of fishes." Hundreds of spangled perch—many of which were still alive—fell from the sky onto the desert community, which lies 100 miles from the nearest lake, and 200 miles from the sea! Even more recently in 2015, in the Southern Tablelands of New South Wales, millions of baby spiders rained down from the sky, and these airborne arachnids subsequently blanketed the countryside with their webs! Rumours that the powers that be in the arachnid kingdom plan to spin a physical WorldWideWeb are yet to be confirmed.

But it’s not just Australia that has witnessed the phenomenon of animals raining down from the sky . . . Back in 1894 in Bath, England, residents were shocked when thousands upon thousands of tiny jellyfish rained down upon their fair city—which lies more than twenty miles from the coast!

Much more recently in the Scrabble-taunting* town of Rakoczifalva, in northern Hungary in 2010, locals were horrified when a shower of frogs rained down upon their town—and in fact, frogs are one of the more frequent perpetrators of the phenomenon of “animal rain.”

Actually, our little amphibian friends have been playing the whole animal rain game for so long that it’s even mentioned in the bible.

The book of Exodus—the second book of the bible—has it that, during a chinwag between the Lord and Moses, the Lord said, “Let My people go, that they may serve Me. But if you refuse to let them go, behold, I will smite all your territory with frogs.”

Which seems a bit overdramatic and really rather immature if you ask me . . .but it is in keeping with the notoriously harsh general tone of the Old Testament. if you’re biting to read more smiting, check out the OT’s writing. In it, you’ll find bucketloads of wrath, swords, and ruling with an iron scepter—and whatever a scepter is, it doesn’t sound like something you’d want to be ruled by (or hit with). But then again, most people probably wouldn’t want frogs to rain down upon them.

Animal rain is no stranger to our screens, either: the Paul Thomas Anderson film Magnolia features a deluge of frogs, while in the first season of the TV series Fargo, a downpour of fish comes down upon the son of the series’ criminal protagonists as he drives through the Midwest. The son crashes his car and dies, leaving his grieving father wondering if the deadly deluge is a sign from god that through his son’s death, he is being punished for his own nefarious dealings.

But what is the cause of these mysterious downpours that have plagued populations around the globe for centuries?

God? CGI? Weather? Practical jokers? Human behaviour? David Blaine-style illusionists?

In my estimation—and in that of most scientists—it’s CGI.

Not really, it’s the weather.

Ah, okay. And who controls the weather ? God? Humans? Mother Nature?

Erm . . . who are you? Never mind. Scientifically speaking, “Mother Nature” is the force that project manages the weather.

Ah, but who is Mother Nature? God’s mum, maybe? Or his auntie?

Scientifically speaking, Mother Nature is just “nature.”

Ah, then maybe you should have “just,” said, “Nature project manages the weather.”

Well, that’s true. But I was playing Devil’s advocate.

Ah, what! So the devil runs the weather too?

Please, please stop starting sentences with “Ah”. But it does sometimes seem that the devil himself controls the worst of the world’s weather! There have been many cataclysmic natural disasters throughout the entire history of the earth; tidal waves, bomb cyclones, earthquakes . . . and very recently, the bomb cyclones that caused incredible snowstorms and temperatures to plummet to -45 Celsius in parts of the USA!

Ah . . . Oops, I mean, yeah, I read about that. But I thought we were talking about raining animals!

We were. And I’ll stop pretending there’s someone else here I’m talking with, and fill the reader in on the scientific reasons for these bizarre events.

Ah, but—

Shut it!

Leaving aside cultural differences and differing beliefs concerning God and the devil, the most scientific explanation for these animal deluges is the weather.

“Animal rain” is a real weather phenomenon that happens when small animals get swept up in something terrifying called “tornadic waterspouts**.” These are tornados that form on water (or land, before moving to water). Swirling at up to 200mph, they are capable of carrying small creatures hundreds of miles, before blowing themselves out and shafting scores of very dizzy (or sadly dead) animals on the unsuspecting humans below. Pretty cool, huh?

A tornado getting itself in a spin

But a few hundred miles is nothing compared to the phenomena known as spider ballooning. This occurs when spiders release one or more gossamer threads that are caught by the wind, lifting the arachnids up to where a combination of air currents and electric fields has been known to carry them across entire oceans. Without paying a penny in airfares, too. Now that is pretty nifty. And is probably giving Elon Musk ideas . . .

*Sadly, Rakoczifalva is a proper noun, meaning it’s not a legitimate Scrabble word. But if it was it would be worth approximately 23,794 points. Maybe. Work it out for yourself, I’m here to talk frog rain.

**I used to be in a prog-rock*** band called Tornadic Waterspouts!****

***Ask your dad. Or maybe your grandad.

****I didn't really.