When Worlds Collide

I wish I could say that what's holding me back on this story is entirely about structure, clarity, or scope. Instead, it's something deeper, darker, personal.

First, the story.

***

Joe's demons were behind him. He had battled a drinking problem and overcome it. He had been incarcerated and lost his wife due in large part to said drinking problem, and illegal activity in the throes of it. Sometimes, one has to hit rock bottom before climbing back up.

Now, free and sober, he needed to get a job and find his own place so he could live away from his drinking buddy. As much as he appreciated the help, he had no intention of falling back down that rabbit hole again, and he didn't need constant temptation.

When he heard of a job for a hotel banquet position, he set up an interview, giving himself time to find something suitable to wear. With no car, he walked to the thrift store. Joe chose something nice but not pretentious– a blue, button up and some black slacks, both of which seemed wrinkle-free, important when he could scarce afford the washer at the laundromat, let alone the dryer.

------

Jolene’s roomate, Tanya, came rushing into the dorm room. She knew what that meant. Tanya had found herself yet another guy. She could see it in her eyes.

Tanya plopped on her bed and flipped her red hair. Jolene hated when she did that. It was like saying, "I'm fire and you're ash, with your dishwater locks." What she did say was, "Jolene, I met a guy. He's super cute, and he's an exchange student from Spain. Carlos asked me, '¿Hablas español?' He asked me if I speak Spanish! I said, 'Si, pocito.'"

Jolene raised her eyebrows. "...and?"

"That's it." Tanya cackled. "That's all I know. 'Yes, a little.' He went off, saying God knows what. Anyway, he's down in the common room. Come on, you’ve got to meet him." She grabbed Jolene's wrist.

Jolene snatched her backpack on the way out, knowing she would need it. Sure enough, not five minutes after Tanya had introduced Carlos, she was leading him towards their hallway with a wink at Jolene.

Jolene sighed and pulled her history textbook out of her backpack, chuckling at the irony of knowing from history what would happen with Tanya. She'd play around with the guy for a bit and then things would go sideways.

Unlike her roommate, chasing boys was not high on her list of priorities. There would be time for that after she got her degree. Besides, she found college boys immature and boring.

------

Joe had been working hard for two months. He was now the head of the banquet department. He always made sure every room was set up perfectly, whether it was for a small meeting or a big wedding reception. He was fast, and accurate. After all that time “bench-pressing” tables and chairs, Joe was in the best shape he'd ever been.

He had saved up enough to get his own apartment and had a new-found sense of pride. He had different friends, a fresh outlook, a new lease on life.

Joe wondered sometimes if he'd find someone to share his time with. He was open to the idea. This time, things would be different. This time, he would commit to staying clean and keeping his lady happy, if he found one.

------

Tanya came rushing into the dorm room. Jolene rolled her eyes, knowing exactly what was coming. For some reason, this time felt different. Tanya looked her in the eyes. "I met a guy, Jolene." She didn't flip her hair. "I think he's 'the one.' He's kind, cute, and strong. Every quality I've always dreamed of."

"Cool."

"That's all you have to say? 'Cool?' Don't you even care?"

"Tanya, we've been down this road before. I'll believe it when you have a ring on your finger."

"Just you wait and see. Anyway, I want you to meet him. Come on, we're driving to his place."

"Wait! He's not even a student?" That was different.

Tanya pulled Jolene out of the building by the arm. Her car was a clunker, but Tanya was proud to own it. They managed to get across town without breaking down or getting pulled over.

She parked by a cheap apartment building.

"He lives here?"

"Yes, isn't it cool that he has his own place? Oh, there he is! See, told you he's kind. He's putting a tire on someone's car, and in this heat."

This time, Jolene pulled Tanya's arm. "Wait! Don’t interrupt. Let him finish." They stood off to the side. He did seem strong, with sweat dripping down his bulging muscles.

The owner of the car thanked him and gave him a twelve-pack of soda. He set it on the ground to wipe his hands on a cloth.

Tanya giggled and said, "Hi Joe."

"Hi Tanya," Joe said with a bit of a sigh that seemed to express, "You again?" Tanya was oblivious. Joe didn't look up right away. When he finally did, he saw Jolene. He smiled. "Who's your tall friend?"

Jolene had always been subconscious of her height, but the way Joe said it made her stand taller. "I'm Jolene."

"Why don't you ladies come on up while I wash up? I'll share the fruits of my labor." He held up the soda.

Joe had some friends pop in, and everyone played penny ante poker. Joe taught Jolene the rules, and the chemistry between them was obvious. So much so that after just 45 minutes, Tanya stood up and said, "I'm leaving. Are you coming Jolene?"

Ignoring her, Joe told Jolene, "I can make sure you get back whenever you want."

"Fine,” Tanya’s voice was dripping with sarcasm, “I hope you guys are happy together.” Under her breath, she added, “Joe and Jolene…They’ll probably name their kid Jo-Jo." She slammed the door on her way out. Everyone chuckled as they heard her tires squeal in the lot.

When the two were alone later, Joe leaned in and kissed her. Jolene had never stayed with a guy on the day they met before, but it felt right.

Joe hadn't had sex in quite a long time. The two of them went at it late into the night, until they were both sated, falling asleep in each other’s arms.

Tanya had one thing right. Joe was "the one," just not for her.

***

I think the story and the structure are solid.

The lives of Joe and Jolene started separately and collided to my satisfaction, as the title implies.

My issue is that, while fictional, there are parallels to my personal experience. If I publish this story, it would feel like losing my late husband yet again. Paul was dry for seven years when I met him, and never drank in the 30 years we were together, but his years of alcoholism no doubt contributed to his passing at the age of 59.

Why did I choose to write something even partially resembling events in my past? I wanted the characters to feel real. Life isn't a fairytale, and neither is this piece. The beginning wasn't happy for Joe. The ending wasn't happy for Tanya.

I could go back and rewrite the story to take Joe's drinking out of the picture, but I think to do so would mean losing some of the importance (moral?) of the story. Maybe someone else needs to hear that second chances are possible.

Incidentally, the first words I heard from Paul really were, “Who’s your tall friend?” It was winter, and I took off my tall, winter boots right away, still self conscious about my height.

I have concluded that writing this story is like honoring my time with Paul, so I’m willing to go this far with it. I just have to decide if it will resonate with others, or if it should remain personal. Should I let these worlds collide?