Is it good or bad to be selfish?

You are at a party, and you see the last cupcake sitting pretty in the kitchen. Then the internal dialogue begins, debating on whether to take or not to take. Sometimes, when you faced with an ethical dilemma, you just might unleash the philosopher in you the words of well-known philosophers start to have a deeper meaning. Take for example the words of John Stuart Mill, a utilitarian, who believes in maximizing happiness for the majority. Aristotle stresses the virtues of generosity and justice. Thomas Hobbes argues that people are naturally self-centered. Isn't it okay to take the last cupcake for yourself then? This is a longstanding question in philosophy.

The question of whether humans are inherently selfish is not your cupcake dilemma. The belief that humans only act out of self-interest is called psychological egoism, and not many philosophers support this extreme view. There is ample evidence of humans sacrificing their self-interest, even their lives, for others. Psychologists have found that even very young children exhibit helpful behavior without any personal gain. However, many philosophers would agree that all humans have a deep selfish streak.

According to Immanuel Kant, it's hard to be certain if our actions for others are truly selfless or motivated by self-love. For example, donating to charity could be driven by the desire to look good or benefit from tax breaks rather than genuinely helping others. Not all philosophers view self-love negatively. Jean-Jacques Rousseau recognized two types of self-love. "Amour de soi," our basic need for self-preservation, is natural and necessary. However, "amour propre," our unhealthy need for recognition and social status, is the cause of many unjust inequalities.

Aristotle, in a similar vein, posited that humans are inherently social creatures and can only thrive when they prioritize the well-being of others alongside their own. According to this line of reasoning, genuine self-love necessitates actively combating our innate selfish tendencies. The challenge, as many philosophers have grappled with, lies in how we can transcend our self-centeredness. Some, like Kant, argue that our moral duty serves as the guiding force that enables us to rise above our narrow self-interest. On the other hand, thinkers such as Rousseau and Adam Smith contend that emotions like pity and sympathy allow us to consider the needs of others.

However, Iris Murdoch, a philosopher-novelist of the 20th century, believed that love, or rather a specific kind of love, was the sole true remedy for human selfishness. According to Murdoch, selfishness does not revolve around trivial matters like taking the last cupcake; instead, it manifests as a distorted worldview where one perceives themselves as the central figure and everyone else as mere supporting characters. To illustrate this point, Murdoch shares the story of a dissatisfied mother-in-law. Although the mother-in-law maintains a facade of politeness, she secretly harbors disdain for her son's "vulgar" and "immature" wife. In Murdoch's eyes, this mother-in-law epitomizes selfishness. By allowing her own jealousy and insecurities to take precedence, she reduces the complex reality of her daughter-in-law to a simplistic caricature.

However, by making a conscious effort, Murdoch asserts that the mother can acquire the ability to perceive her daughter-in-law in a different light. Instead of viewing her as vulgar or immature, the mother can come to appreciate her as refreshingly honest and wonderfully youthful. It is crucial to note that this does not imply that the mother should naively overlook any flaws. According to Murdoch, love is the arduous recognition that there exists something beyond oneself. Despite its challenges, Murdoch believes that we can all achieve this realization by nurturing what she refers to as attention.

Drawing inspiration from Buddhist meditation, this practice may involve engaging with art, learning foreign languages, or simply taking the time to observe the natural world. Murdoch emphasizes that the key aspect is that these activities redirect our focus away from ourselves. Only through honing our ability to attend to the world around us can we truly perceive it for what it is.

Paraphrased from: Mark Hopwood