A Break on the Moors

The voices had started from the time that she had got there. Melinda didn't believe in ghosts, thought it was a load of hokum, and she willed her brain to capture and hold on to a rational explanation. But there was none, becoming increasingly obvious, the longer she remained in the cottage.

She had tried to leave but the doors remained locked, unlocking as she turned her back with a dense clunk. Melinda did not scare easily. She was more irritated by the inconvenience. She did not sense malevolence; more of a necessity to be heard.

She had tried to ignore their insistent susurrations but they reached beyond the tight hands covering her ears, as if they could tap into her very essence. And there was the cold, icy air when they were there. There was more than one, of that she was sure.

She reminded herself this was meant to be a relaxing few days away, in a house on the moors, with a book, a mood and a view. But it was becoming a psychological prison. Should she accept them in? Or continue to resist? She had chosen not to focus on their whisperings, using music to drown them out but she was tiring of deflecting tactics.

"Okay." She turned the music off. "I surrender.” She held her hands in the air. "Whoever, whatever you are, talk. I'm listening."

Silence.

Instead, a book flew from the shelf and Kate Bush's haunting vocals floated from the speaker.

Wuthering Heights.

***

This story was an entry for a competition hosted by NYC Midnight. It was to write a ghost story in 250 words, I think and I had to include the word "remind" and the action of surrendering.

I won't lie: when I saw what they gave me as my prompts, my heart sank. I don't like writing ghost stories and I think that a good one is very difficult to achieve in 250 words because the best ghost stories are about the building up, with layers and layers of suspense and tension and sinister goings-on, like turning the key on a clockwork mechanism until you know that you can go no further or you'll overwind and you, as the writer, choose the perfect moment to release and watch the fear you've created make your reader run.

This may have affected my approach to it, the fact that I was not set alight creatively by what I had been given. I did feel deflated a little and as a result, I didn't start writing with the right mindset, that this was going to be my best work. I wrote and I submitted and I did it with distractions and demands and people making tea and all of the merry detritus of life around me, which is how it is for me and my writing. I do it on the hoof because there is no other option. Quiet time does not exist for me or, if it does appear, it's in very small pockets and cannot always be maximised.

I sound like I'm making excuses and maybe I am.

That being said, I'm not completely disappointed with what I wrote. It's not my best work but looking at it now, I can see that it has atmosphere and that it comes to a rounded point, even if it is a little bit of a cliffhanger. If I had to criticise myself, it would be that I said Melinda used music to drown them out but then, at the end, the ghosts, whoever they are, decide to play "Wuthering Heights" - why didn't they do this before? Or did they need her to surrender before they could communicate directly with her? It's all a bit open-ended and loose really. Funny though - this wasn't commented on at all.

There was a lot of comment about my sentences and the way that I write. It did raise my hackles, I will admit. I don't think I'm a bad writer but perhaps I'm not as good as I like to think I am either. It's hard to be objective about your own work.

Anyway, with that in mind, I would love to know what you think of this story. You don't have to be nice. I would share the judges' feedback here but I'm not sure if I'm allowed. I think I'm probably not.

Go through it with a fine-tooth comb. I know you people on here as writers who I respect and whose work I return to. You won't offend me. I'm a big girl and can take it. I'll admit that I did submit feedback to NYC Midnight because they asked for it - that sounds confrontational! What I mean is they asked for feedback, not to be criticised and I did state my opinions on the comments I'd received but I did it nicely, I promise.

Right. Enough.

I'm looking forward to hearing what you make of it.

The comments' box awaits.

This links back to this musing I wrote when I first received the feedback: