What experience has reshaped the way you view things around you?

I was never a fan of big caring state, but I always thought that we need the government to provide a safety net for those unfortunate ones, who just fell short of luck and need a little bit of help getting on their feet.

At 18 I was very stupid, lazy and too trusting. I was experimenting with some psychoactive substances, hanging out with hoodlums and generally screwing my life. Eventually I managed to find myself jobless, out of school, on the street in a city where I barely knew anyone. No marketable skills, no formal education and very little chance to get a low skilled manual labour job due to my heart condition.

This was my rock bottom. As a naive young man I went to the social department of local government to get the help I needed. The people there were quite rude to me, very hesitant to help me in any way. They basically told me, that they cannot do anything for me and that I have to get halfway across the country (where I had official permanent residency, but where I had actually never been)

I had nobody to ask for help and the best the safety net I hoped could be the last resort to turn to meant that I would get the “immediate help" money in 14–60 days. The regular unemployment money in about 30 days, but I had the equivalent of 20 cents in my wallet and I had no idea where would I sleep that night or what I would eat that day, not to mention what I would be doing the next day or the day after.

By that point I had to resort to begging for money on the streets and stealing a thing or two to eat in local grocery stores just to survive. This went on for about 14 days and then one of the people I begged money from told me, that he can help me get a job and get out of the street. They would provide me with a roof over my head, food, some pocket money and clean clothes from day one. It sounded way too good, but I wasn't in a position to refuse.

When I got there I found out that it's an illegal job agency operated by the Ukrainian mafia. I was scared shitless, but what was I to do? I accepted their offer and they did follow through on their offer to the point. I got a job at a construction site the next day, they lent me some money for food, gave me some clean clothes and assigned me a bed in their housing. They taught me how to do my job, they just took back the money from my first salary and they did everything they said they would do.

They successfully pulled me off the streets, no questions asked, no bureaucracy, no judgement. eventually I made enough money to get my own apartment, learned to code and now I actually work as a web developer and I am living quite a comfortable life, but I'll always wonder what would happen if I relied on the government to help me or if I didn't make the leap of faith to go to a completely different city to work for a mafia. What would happen if the police had actually caught me during one of their raids targeting illegal workers.

It was during one of the raids when I realized the absurdity of the situation. The guys who believe the are doing the right thing (the police, the social workers etc.) could ruin my life in any given moment. The guys who I have been told my entire life, are bad, were the ones who helped me when I was thinking about ending it for good. This forever changed my perception of good and bad, righteous and evil. I came to realize, that there almost no truly evil people out there. Some are perceived as evil, some are perceived as righteous, some are ignored, but virtually none of them are truly and fully good or evil.

As a sidenote, this was the tipping point that sent me on my way to eventually become an anarchist.