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True colors

by Daija Douglas 7 months ago in Secrets

Who are you?

True colors
Photo by Elliott Engelmann on Unsplash

Show me your true colors.

Don’t hide from me.

What good does that do?

What bad does that do?

Do you care? Truly?

Why don’t you say anything? A word. A look. A feeling.

It’s like living with a chameleon that’s been told it’s a lizard. Everyone lied to you.

Everyone told you this when they saw your colors changing constantly. You hide to keep safe and they knew before you did that you aren’t what they say you are.

They still do.

Look into a mirror and tell me your true colors, don’t hide; we all know already. I see your colors, all of them. They don’t go together like a rainbow; each individual band shining bright to create something worth seeing. They become a mush, like tar.

You get stuck. You feel helpless. It doesn’t shine bright or fill you with hope and wonder. It stays deep within and you tend to fall in if you don’t watch your step. But there’s life there. I can see blades of green grass, not what you would see in a field of flowers, but what you would find in a humid sticky swamp. A bayou, deep down in the trenches where the monsters live, or so they say.

Is that where you live? Are you lonely? I know you’ve been there a while, but do you truly call it home?

I don’t think it’s your fault your colors are a mush. I just think you wanted to share your colors with others and they carelessly mixed around blues and blacks to make shades darker than theirs so they could shine just a little brighter. But why did you sit back and watch this happen? While they changed everything you knew and loved. Your colors aren’t broken, they’re different. But could you love them the same. Could you find the life inside, where the colors come back strong enough to withstand the test of time? Or are you so far down that the warmth of the sun doesn’t touch base for even a moment. But your plants are still growing,

In darkness.

When I was younger I hated the darkness. I couldn’t see anything in it and it made me scared to wonder what could be lurking.., waiting..

Watching.

Those thoughts and fears never did show before my eyes but they still ran rampant in my mind. I think it may have been scarier than anything that could of come from the dark.

It was twisted, it wasn’t safe, and it wasn’t home. But it’s all I’ve known. I grew up in the darkness, afraid of what? Are these even my fears? Who am I really? What are my true colors?

I looked.

I looked in the mirror.

I did what you couldn’t do. What you didn’t do.

And I saw who I am;

What you were before everyone changed you.

These colors are so vibrant, how could I have missed it? How could I have not known the darkness isn’t who I am. That I’m your light in this icky place where I see only darkness and you see only me. You birthed me from this never ending darkness and I shined ever bright.. lost. And you watched me wander about your darkness, tripping and falling in places I couldn’t see but you saw. You saw me and you told me I was a lizard and this was my home. So tell me what are your true colors.

Secrets

Daija Douglas

I have a lot of poetry in mind so I thought I’d share.

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