Toxic Relationships Have Been Removed From My Life Part 2

I began working late in life as a result of being offered to care for my mother; granted, there were a few short-term jobs, but nothing that I would consider meaningful. I had moved out of my parents' house and into my own apartment, complete with a job. Even though what transpired had nothing to do with a hazardous atmosphere, it was one of the things I learnt not to do. I'd made the blunder of working at a restaurant and rented an apartment from them that was above another company. It had made it a bit too handy for the owner of the business below my flat to call on me on the spur of the moment, and for where I worked to call on me on the spur of the moment.I'd made the error of working at a restaurant and renting an apartment from them that was above another company. It was a bit too convenient for my boss to summon me on the spur of the moment, and for the owner of the business below my flat to accuse me of things I had nothing to do with; it was more about the landlord needing to do things than it was about me, but I digress.

When I left there (the apartment and the job), I ended myself in a series of shelters; the first two didn't work out, but the third was the finest thing that could have happened to me in my whole life. I stayed for approximately a year, had a place to sleep, was linked to a couple jobs, and completed my paperwork, which led to my being connected to beautiful housing (where I still am).

While all of this was going on, I was really on pleasant terms with my elder sister for several years, and she seemed to put her poisonous conduct toward me behind her. But somewhere along the way, she had a near-death encounter that transformed her, something that would reintroduce that toxic attitude she had long suppressed for one more hit.

She pulled off a doozy with her poisonous conduct two years ago when she accused me of something I was supposed to have done to someone when I was 14, and it was going to be a significant hot topic matter. Now, I have no idea what I was meant to have done when I was 14, but I'm expected to know what I did when I was 14 and be able to describe it vaguely. There are two things I'd want to bring out about that. I'm 53 years old, so I'm meant to remember something from 39 years ago that someone is being deliberately unclear about? Why, if it was such a big subject at the time, did it go unnoticed?

No responses, at least not to me, but my sister and her dwindling circle of friends do discuss it. They discuss it amongst themselves, passing the subject back and forth like a game of Whisper Down the Lane that keeps getting twisted. You're familiar with how the game works.

Player 1 states, "I like M&Ms."

Tim like M&M's, says Player 2.

With a fake lisp, Player 3 says: Tim is a fan of Eminem.

Player 4 makes a wild assumption about what was said: "Tim likes Eminem," I believe it is.

Player 5 states unequivocally, "I believe Tim likes Eminem."

"I believe Tim really likes Eminem in a particular manner, woohoo-hoo!" says the last member in the circle. However, even though the initial comment is merely "I enjoy M&M's," someone goes about spreading something they only heard muttered down the road. And it may be poisonous to Tim, because it converted something utterly harmless into something perverted and outright false.

So, with that said (and with somewhat different terminology), I was finally done with my family's poisonous conduct.

What did I do with all of this to extricate myself from toxic relationships?

First and foremost, I've cut ties with my whole family. Is it unforgiving? It is, but one thing to remember about toxic individuals is that they typically have a distorted sense of reality, which you should avoid playing into. They probably don't realise they're doing it or are relying on what they've been taught about you, not comprehending that the events they're vilifying didn't happen the way they think they did, if at all. They frequently defend their harmful behaviour against you by claiming that it is the correct thing to do.

After more than 50 years of tolerating what my family did to me, I finally drew a line and declared, "This ends here." Is there a chance I'll see my sister again? Probably not; despite the fact that we reside in the same city, we are emotional strangers to one another. Is it a terrible thing? Yes, in some ways, but when seen in the context of "the least of two evils," it's not so horrible. I don't mean any damage to her, and if she calls me and admits she was mistaken, I'll talk to her. However, knowing how poisonous she can be and her "I'm always right" mindset, I don't believe that will happen. Now, a lot of the time, what they claimed was incorrect.

Right now, I'm in an area where I'm protected from toxic conduct from my neighbours; outside of that community, not so much, but poisonous behaviour from folks I only see for a few minutes— I simply recall that they have no idea who I am, and I have no idea who they are, so why they feel the need to be poisonous to complete strangers is a mystery. But, at the end of the day, it's on them, and it's something that will come back to bite them in the arse. Aunt Karma is coming for them, you see. When that happens, I just put some music on my phone that makes me happy, turn it up loud, and tune out.