The Sky Just Fell. So NOW what?

It became over before it even really started. One day I started working for a publishing company, became a published author through that time while helping thousands of clients with their books. My clients loved me and I loved them. We had a great and growing relationship. Many of them kept coming back and publishing more books. Said they couldn't do the next steps without me. They liked my voice and loved my laugh. I was helpful, I was encouraging and I was a great listener(that's what they always told me).

I would go home at night with a leap in my step and a song in my heart because I knew I was changing lives by helping people follow their dreams. I helped people deliver their message while creating a community of readers that shared their stories for years to come. Aspiring authors knew my name. Not only that, but many started to know my family and my busy life.

I received 'thank you' cards in the mail, a box of chocolates, cash and even a gift card or two. My job took care of my family and also took care of me. I didn't even think about checking out the other side of the coin because I knew I would never have to(or so I thought)because I believed I would always be helping people in the publishing business until my retirement.

And then it happened. The pandemic hit during my vacation last year and I came home not knowing what was going to happen next. I went back to work and a couple of weeks later, we were all told we would still be working but work online at home.

That wasn't too bad, I thought. Being around home in my upstairs office would help me focus better on my work and less around my surroundings so I could get more work done. So I packed my stuff up like the other consultants and started working from home. I would work in the early morning and around lunchtime, I would grab a bite to eat with my husband and come back to the house after the hour was over and finish out the rest of my day.

Well, this lasted for only five months. I got the call at the beginning of the morning from my sales manager that I and several others were going on furlough due to the pandemic and that they will call us back when everything was over. They had mentioned that they had to conserve finances and they were overstaffed for the moment but promised us that it wouldn't be too long and they would let us know when to get online again.

So, I filed for unemployment and waited while I was working with my husband and his online business. Summer ended and autumn came. No calls or emails from anyone. Then the holidays started and winter came on. Still nothing. I thought, 'that's okay. They are probably waiting until after the first of the year to call us back.'

The holidays came and went. I started to get a little nervous. Then it happened. I got the call. With a little excitement, I picked up the phone.

'Hello?'

'Hi. There's something we have to tell you. We are going to have to separate you from employment through no fault of your own. We have no choice but to downsize our sales department. We're sorry we have to do this. Please return your equipment before the end of the week. Thanks.'

They hung up and I looked down to the floor in complete shock. Ten years down the tubes. All of my clients would suddenly have another consultant taking over that just started the job a couple of months before. Why were they dismissing everyone that had worked there ten years or more? All of that work, all of the friendships, all of the things I did and became in the publishing world just completely washed away.

What was I going to tell my husband? What was I going to tell the kids? My husband came inside soon after shoveling the snow from the driveway and said, 'Why do you look so down?' I told him who called and what happened. He hugged me and said there's not much I could do and said I needed to give their equipment back next. So that's what I did.

After what seemed like the longest ride of my life driving home, I got back in and still was in shock that my job was gone. How was I going to support my family? Being a consultant and working in the publishing field was the only thing I had known for a long time. Other than that, I worked in a grocery store and fast-food when I started out in my late teens and twenties as a new mom.

I know it sounds crazy but I am still trying to figure it all out. Is there still a place in this world for me as a publishing consultant? Or is that time in my life over and I have to figure out what's next? I only wish I knew what the next page reads because it's driving me completely crazy. If I knew I could publish a book and live off of the royalties making six figures then I would already be doing it. For now, the books I have published bring in monthly royalties but not enough to truly live on.

The sky fell but I am trying to figure out what's next. All I can do at this time is look up, look ahead and keep on walking. Thank you for listening.