The Girl who Cried "Abuse!"

When my phone rang, I wasn't expecting it to be her. I ignored her first call. And, her second. But she was persistent. When I didn't pick up the phone, my phone was bombarded with horrible messages. Calling me a "fat-ass" bitch and a "coward." I looked down at the messages and rather than respond, I thought about what he was going to go home to.

I pictured him walking through that front door to her face staring at him with malevolent intentions. I was immediately concerned with his safety. After all, this was a girl who had every intention of hurting him. She had constantly threatened to take away his daughter. She had threatened to call the cops and put him in jail. She had threatened to get rid of his dog. She was hurting but the only was she knew how to convey her dismay was by lashing out. She certainly was venomous because as the messages continued, they dissolved quickly into physical threats.

Instead of responding to her, I put my phone on silent and went to bed. The next morning, I decided to take her threat seriously and called my local police office. I informed them of the situation and when I arrived at work later that morning, I met up with an police officer and showed him the illicit exchange. He then went over to their place and informed her that she was not to step a foot on our restaurant's location nor was she allowed anywhere near my place of resident. Further, that if she attempted to contact me again, a warrant would be put out for her arrest.

Little did I know that she would use this as excuse to gaslight him. She was insistent that if she wasn't allowed near me that he wasn't either. It was this statement that prompted him to call me.

"I can't come into work." He lamented.

"Why not?" I promptly asked.

"She said that because she's not allowed near you, that I'm not allowed near you either. I think I have to find another job." He replied.

"Listen that's not how this works. She isn't allowed near me. You are. She's gas-lighting you. She's lying again. Don't fall for her bullshit. All she is trying to do is find a way to control the situation. All she is doing is hurting you. Come to work. You are allowed to be here. Don't let her lie to you. The next time she comes at you with that same bullshit, you call me and I will tell you the truth. Stop falling for her lies." I insisted. "You have to remember that she is going to do everything she can to keep you in her pocket - to keep in line - but this isn't about you or her. This is about your daughter and securing a life for her. So bring your ass to work. You need to be here."

It was tough love. For weeks I had been working with him to get out of his crumbling relationship. Initially, in the beginning, prior to any feelings being exchanged, I did try to advise him. I inquired about their home life and asked what he was going to make sure that she knew that he loved her and supported her. However, the action taken wasn't enough to sway her from interfering in his life and limiting who and when he can be around his family and friends. She had also begun unfriending and blocking other female co-workers and threatening them with the same physical assault she had extended to me.

When he showed up, he looked exhausted. He had rings under his eyes. He was disheveled and his uniform was askew. I could tell that he had had another long, sleepless night. On top of being a father and being the financial bread winner, he had to contend with a monster every single time he went home.

"Have you eaten anything today?" I gently inquired.

"No." He groggily replied. Standing at six-foot-two and weighing only a buck thirty-five, I felt compelled to feed him.

"When was the last time you've eaten something?" I asked.

"Yesterday morning, I made breakfast for me and my daughter." He hesitantly replied.

"Well, when you get a chance tonight, get something to eat. You need to eat. You need your strength." I replied.

As he walked near me, we both peered around to make sure that no one was looking and when the coast was clear, we pulled each other in for a deep hug. In that moment, I wanted to lend him my strength and pour so much love on him. It must of worked because when he pulled away, he smiled wearily.

"Thanks mama." He jabbed.

"Of course." I said and with a wink, I watched him walk away and head towards the kitchen. In that instance, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be in an actual kitchen with him - chopping vegetables, cooking dinner, maybe throw on some good music, have a drink and dance a little too. I pictured him as a part of my life. Of course, seconds into this thinking, I shook my head and reminded myself what was at stake - not just of the possibility that our "friendship," would have him tossed in jail but in that, I would potentially be putting myself at risk of heartache. A road that I had already been down so many times before.

For the next couple of weeks while he worked on climbing the ladder at work, I was there in support of him and encouraging him by telling him that he was handsome, intelligent and kind. I would bring him food. I would sit with him and talk with him for hours about what the next steps were. He had decided to make it a point to formally end his relationship with her. He was done with the abuse and no longer wanted to share a life with her because despite his best intentions to salvage their relationship, it didn't matter. She was dead-set on controlling every aspect of his life. He had no freedom. He couldn't get a drink with friends after a long shift. He couldn't go over to his cousins house. He couldn't spend an extended period of time at his mother's house. He was only allowed only as far as her leash could tolerate and he was choking to death.

She had decided to get a job and as such, he would no longer be financially responsible for her well being. Just that of their daughter. It was when she started working that he decided that it was time to move out and move on.

"Don't do it by yourself. Let your boys know what's good and let them be there with you. You already know that she is unhinged and she might not do something right away but she will lash out and try to hurt you. Worst case scenario is that she will call the cops, you will be arrested and you will go to jail. Best case, you will be able to move out, file for paternity and gain custody of your daughter. If she does decide to call the cops - which is a distinct possibility- I will be there for you. I will rally and support you. Know that you are never alone." I implored.

He nodded in agreement - and after a couple more days - he messaged me. "Are you home?" He said, his voice shaking.

"Yes. What's up?" I asked. Sensing something else, "Is something wrong? Did something happen?"

Asking with urgency, he replied, "No mami, nothing is wrong. Can I come over?"

"Well obviously," I replied, "I'd love to see you."

When he arrived, he looked lighter. He looked at me and said, "I did it! I told her that I will be a father to our daughter but as far as she and I are concerned, we are done."

"What did she say?" I tentatively inquired.

"I don't know, I left. I didn't want to stay around and hear it. I didn't want to give her a chance to say anything or do anything." He replied.

He came in swiftly for a hug and pulled me into a deep fold. In that instance, it felt as though we were collectively holding our breath.

"I feel like I can't breathe." I said.

"Oh, my bad" He said, "Am I gripping you too tight?"

"No," I said laughing, "That's not it at all. In fact you can hold me as tight as you want. I just meant that I feel like all I have been doing up to this point is holding my breath."

"Me too," He said, "We should probably breathe."

I laughed. "Yeah, we probably should."

Each of us inhaled and let out a nice, long exhale.

After a moment of silence, he spoke again, "Can we go for a walk?"

"Absolutely," I replied, "It's one of my favorite things to do."

As we started for our walk, he took my hand and held it firmly. I looked at him and he had this energy - a different, radiating energy. Almost like a pulsing star. I could sense his new vibration.

He was quiet as I continued talking about my own day. When we finally arrived at our spot, we sat down and as he gently drew circles my leg with his fingers, I could tell he was in deep contemplation.

"What is it?" I asked.

He was quiet for a moment and then looked at me. "You know that you are pretty amazing person - being here for me - loving me through this. It's just that this next part is hard to say...

My breath withdrew into my chest and I felt a pitfall in my stomach. Here it comes...

I just want to be with you mama. Just you. I'm in love with you. I want to be that man in your life. To be the man that is there for you. Anything you need and I will be there."

I was flabbergasted. There I was feeling the same thing. Only, I had thought that he...

Without skipping a beat, I said, "I'm in love with you too."

Only, I still understood what was in play and although we shared mutual feelings, I knew that my presence would make things more difficult for him and for myself. I wasn't sure if I was ready.

Sensing my hesitation, I went on. "I love you I truly do. I don't want to put a 'but' out there but I need a little time to think. Is that okay."

"Always thinking," He laughed, "It's one of the things I like most about you. Of course. Just let me know sooner rather than later."

"That I can do," I replied.

With everything laid out on the table, we walked back to his car, embraced and I sent him on his way.

Later that night, I sat and thought about him and went over everything. I had to wrap my head around possibly sharing a life with him and all it entailed. It meant that I could potentially become a step-mother. It meant having to deal with her. I allowed myself to think about what it would be like date him. I thought about what it mean for us if we decided to move in together. I pondered over whether or not I could marry him. Did I want to marry him? Could I marry him? Could I commit to a life with him and his daughter and her?

I then thought about him. Everything about him. How he made me seen. How valued I felt. I thought about each embrace and how much I longed for us to hold onto each other just a little bit longer. I thought about his smile and his laugh and began to wonder what it would be like to live with him or what it would mean to wake up to him every single day. I pictured the two of us going out and staying in. I could see us being married. I could see myself pregnant. I could picture a life for us together and instead of feeling anxious, I was oddly, calm. Everything about him put me at ease. The rest of it be damned.

Before turning off the light to go to bed, I resolved myself to tell him the next day that I was ready.

The next day, I took the time to dress special just for him. I took my time with my makeup and my hair. That night, I was going to tell him that I was his. Unequivocally.

When I showed up at work, I paced in anticipation of his arrival. I planned on pulling him towards me and kissing him in front of everyone. I no longer cared who knew. I wanted the whole world to know it. As the night went on and he didn't show up, I had a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was about an hour after he was no call, no show that I was pulled into our manager's office. Like me, they knew that it was very unlike him to not show up and not call. In that instance, I knew that something was very wrong and my mind began running wild with every horrible possibility under the sun.

"I will get to calling around and see if I can find him," I responded calmly. However, the underlying current was frantic. I pictured him scared, alone, bleeding out on the floor. I called his mother. I called the police. I called and called until, his mother finally delivered the grim news.

She had finally lowered that ax.

Stay tuned, part III coming soon!