The dad in my gilded box

Inside a gilded secret box

I store my varied hodgepodge of mementos

Depicting the slightly imperfect pictograph

Of the person I wish my dad to be

A giant, not in stature, but in the size of his heart

A clown, for the many ways he makes me laugh

A love letter, the one I found in mother's jewelry box

It said you love us lots, even more when you are away

A mountain, because you keep telling me that nothing

Is ever too great to achieve if I set my sights real high

The sky, because I see you in every cloud and in the sun

In the raindrops and the moonbeam shining on warm

Summer nights, you say this to me just for fun while

Tickling me silly when as a child way back when we played

Hide and seek and you found me ever so easily in places

That were ever so bad for hiding a little sprite like me

A tiny mirror, for I see your face in mine, looking back

Smilingly, with dark dreamy eyes and a cheeky grin like mine

Heart, for the many times you said

"I love you lots, for your nose, your eyes,

Your pointy little pixie ears"!

But now, the years are passing

The box is so full, but yet my heart still yearns

For the silly perfections where I still find only

The imperfections which you tell me are the very

Best things about the best of a father

For if he were a perfect specimen of a dad

How very boring a character would he be

You explain, making silly faces to prove

Your point so very convincingly to a child

Who knows deep in the recesses of her soul

That you are not the father that she has

But still she imagines that her life would

Could maybe have been far more

Extraordinary if the dad in the gilded box

Had spent the first half of a lifetime preparing her

With lots of fun and wholesome laughter

For the triumphs and failures along this road of life

The child knows very well that you are a made up dad

She knows now as she gets older, she must face

Head on, the reality that she has to keep the

Dad in the gilded box a secret from the real life

Version of the real imperfect lifelike father

Always hoping that if she wishes it hard enough

One day before it is too late, she will awaken

To the perfect imperfect dad in the treasured box

Having actually been her real dad all along

And life had rolled back, back to the beginning

Where her deep insecurities would not exist

Instead, a strong confident young person

Would emerge early from the cocoon of love

Laughter and the free spiritedness of imperfect joy

Somehow now, less and less gems are finding themselves

Adorning the inside of my secret gilded box

As I matured, and somehow the cares of life

Kept the lid of the box closed for want of time

To keep filling it with treasured gems

I find it gets harder to find the gems

As life marches to the sounds of different drums

A new box is needed

For expectations now differ

Needing to be found in different faces

The imperfect dad is gone

The box with my perfect imperfect dad

Still invites a visit every now and then

Still needing the wishes to steer me

On an easier path than this one lined

With pained mistakes that happens in life

While striving to accomplish the best life

Full of the possibilities which will enable me

To be the best version of me that you

My real fake imperfect dad would want me to be

I now have two gilded boxes

Because, you know

Life brings new acquaintances

New expectations

Yours is special though

It will always be.

N.A.