That Final Time at Band Camp

Staring at the glowing warmth of the bonfire, I was thinking about what I could possibly talk about.

“Remember guys, let’s try to keep it a nice five to ten. There’s a lot of seniors and we don’t want to spend all night in the cold.”

That’s what my band director told us at lunch in preparation for the senior bonfire. But how do you summarize the past four years into a short speech? All the proudest moments from the companions and performances, the personal heartbreaks from mistakes that could have been fixed, the small details of life that help bring the big picture together. This was the moment every senior was waiting for, the moment to pass on little nuggets of wisdom to the lower class-men. What was the impact I am leaving behind?

It was a chilly fall night in Prescott during our fall break when we held our band camp. the trees were slowly moving from the breeze. The moon was on it’s new cycle, without it’s glowing presence the stars were shining at their brightest. Everyone was walking down the dusty trail from the main cabin that leads down to the fire pit. The area was big and open, the fire pit in the middle and two sets of scaffolding by the sides of the pit. The fire was already going by the time a majority of the band came into the clearing. The fire was big and bright, the crackling of the ambers was a nice inclusion to the already various nature sounds that were around us. The lower class-men took seats in the scaffolding, each wearing their puffiest jackets, thick hats, and wrapped around the biggest blankets.

Meanwhile all us seniors lined up behind the fire, each given a candle by one of the parent volunteers. The first candle was lit by our drum major, and that flame contained to pass each member's own candle, a real life metaphor for what that flame means to each for us. I was still thinking about what the flame could mean. Our drum major started the night of speeches, he spoke of his struggles and how marching band was a good distraction from his troubled home life. Two seniors from my color guard section talked about how this was their only time doing marching band. They spoke about how this experience was something they never thought they’d do and had fun along the way. As each senior spoke their speech my turn was getting closer and closer, I was still thinking about what I could talk about, what is my story. My co-captain wrapped up his almost twenty minute speech (the longest of the night), and once he stepped back in line that was my moment to speak.

As I took my place in front of everyone, I took a final glance at everyone. The lower class-men, the future of the band that would continue the traditions of the other seniors before us. My friends, some who I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know over the past four years and others who I wished I never met. The instructors, who’s passion for music and education wanted only the best for us and to show us what we can become. The parent volunteers, who were our biggest supporters and fans, who we could always go to to look for some guidance. I stumbled a bit with my words.

“Hey everyone…umm. Where to start…I guess I can start by saying that being in marching band was been one of the few things that I can be proud of being a part of…” I had to take a pause, my voice was already starting to waiver a bit. The emotional roller coaster that was going through my head, What is it that I want to say? Should I talk about all the happy moments that marching band gave me? Should I talk about my mistakes that happened and what to learn from them? Or should I talk about the sadness that this journey is going to end and head to the unknown of the future? They say speak from the heart and the rest will follow, so that’s what I did.

“Without the marching band, I know high school would have been a terrible experience. I was the only one from my friend group that decided to come to our school rather than our rivals. So I was already feeling like an outsider when I came to the first rehearsals because everyone already knew each other from their middle school. Luckily my sister was in the marching band and was the one who convinced me that I should join and I’ve been grateful for it ever since. I'm happy for all the friends I made along the way, sad about the friends that I lost…”

At this point the tears were coming out, I knew I had to wrap it up, “Blah! emotions are gross. I’ll wrap this up before I start to ramble. You never know where life can take you but if you surround yourself with the people who will love you for who you are, then that right there is all the love you could ever need.”

Once I got back in line and the next senior went and they talked about their own experience. I looked down at my candle and I saw what that flame meant. It wasn’t the hot rehearsal days we did in the summer learning the music. It wasn’t the long sleepy bus rides home recapping the away games. It was the connections I made with everyone and even if after graduation we never see each other, a small piece of us will always be in their hearts as are they in mine. That’s what that flame meant to me.