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Sun, Sea, Sex...And Sandmites!

One For The Bucketlist

By Kate FoxPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
14
Sun, Sea, Sex...And Sandmites!
Photo by Romain HUNEAU on Unsplash

Picture this: a young woman of 24 years old is about to marry the love of her life but the stress of wedding planning is getting to her so they treat themselves to a couple's weekend in sunny Devon, UK.

Sounds lovely, doesn't it? And it was but for one small decision that we made to head down to the pebble beach on our campsite late a night.

We were both feeling a little frisky but it was like a sauna inside our caravan so we decided to be adventurous. I slipped on a dress (no panties) and grabbed a blanket, and we headed down to the beach (yes he had clothes on).

We travelled to the farthest end of the beach where the floodlights on the cliff couldn't quite reach us and spread out our blanket in a small crook at the base of the cliff for extra protection from prying eyes.

Settling down, we got down to it there and then. Both frisky, both excited, both kind of anxious someone might see us. It certainly was a thrill and let me tell you, having sex on a pebble beach is like a good massage for your back!

Everything went smoothly and we were left well alone. Or at least, that's what we thought.

We'd put our clothes back on relatively quickly but also took the time to have a post-sex cuddle. This was the time we realised that our decision had been a bad one.

Remember how I said I wasn't wearing any pants? Well, as I lay there in the arms of my soon to be husband, I felt something tickling the inside of my thigh. At first, I just thought it was an itch. So I scratched it and that was that.

When I felt it again, I sat bolt upright. This was around the time my husband-to-be told me that he was also itchy.

On went our torch phones and I kid you not, I have never screamed so loudly in my life. I'm lucky I didn't cause a rockfall off the cliff above, I screamed so loud!

We were both covered head to toe in creepy brown sand mites! They were jumping about to and fro, having a whale of a time. It was like the scene in horror movies where the creepy crawlies scuttle out from under the floorboards to cover their latest victim.

I jumped up like a firecracker and began doing a jig, sweeping my hands down between my legs, terrified that one might have taken the path to nowhere!

My partner was slightly less freaked out. No doubt a symptom of what I like to call a post-sex coma. He was laughing all the way back to the caravan and I'm pretty sure the people we passed knew exactly what had happened down there.

But it's safe to say we got out of there pretty quickly and we will never, I repeat never, be having sex on a beach ever again! Unless it's in an iced glass with an umbrella.

Although I don't regret ticking sex on the beach off my bucket list, I do regret spending a week worried that one of those critters might have gone somewhere they shouldn't!

I'm just glad that my husband didn't use it as a story for his groom's speech.

***

If you enjoyed my post please feel free to click the heart button to show me some love. Likewise, a small tip goes a long way to helping me continue making content.

Also remember, if you plan to get down and dirty outside, do it standing up!

Taboo
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About the Creator

Kate Fox

I'm a little bit crazy but willing to talk about just about anything!

I'm a daughter, sister, mother and wife with extensive experience in freelance writing & the author of the fantasy series, The Winterwood Academy.

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