Sorry, I fell in Love

Sorry for falling in love. Did I have a choice, at all? I fell so far, for you, that eternity began, and the debris that clung onto me like barnacles on the hull of a ship, fell off and drifted away. A confession is all. No good-well wishes. No regrets. No missing you. With you, I found an escape away from all except man and woman, enjoying the nighttime while civilization spiraled away. Two left behind, when the dust rose above cracked concrete and twisted steel, standing in exile from Eden.

You brought me back to life. The desert morning, earthy air smelled fresher, and the color of flower petals brightened. As if, a veil of despondency over my senses had dropped away. To reveal the same world through another pair of shades. Not knowing whether I was coming or going. Whether I was on steady ground or spiraling down. Yet, the sun kept rising and the moon kept ruling the night.

The moon shone brighter for me, for us, once upon a time. That moment, with you, was all I needed to feel, to get back what had been taken from me. To feel even more than I had when we met. An intimate exchange of words, unheard. Time stopped for a connection between two to occur.

Two strangers with nothing else to do. One stranger waiting for a past that would never reappear. Not looking to a future that would only decline, again. A stranger just contemplating whether finding more out of life would be a sage choice, or not. What consequences would arise? On a hope and a prayer for whatever new entered my world.

You, as a long-lost friend who found me when the time was right. The stars must have been in the perfect positions when you came my way. Mystical, magical, and destined to transcend lifetimes both past and future. The present one halfway through.

Conversations between us about everything but us. No attachment. No blame. No expectation. Only respect for each others’ choices and stories, and the comfort of being in another’s company. Then, green eyes came along, my way. It was only an income. I’d lost everything qualitative and dear, years before.

What do you do with circumstances like these? Quit a job? With the damage already done. Sever ties and walk away is the choice I made, like times before. I knew the way through the mess like a holy prayer. I didn’t need someone to understand. Knowledge of oneself, held beliefs, and values are strengths that discipline reactions and guide the way forward.

The problem wasn’t mine, and justice doesn’t have a price tag. I drifted for a while but never lost sight of my North Star. Sometimes all there is is hope and a prayer that you’ll find port where the weather is pleasant.

Once upon a time after, my heart throbbed with passion. Although, it was only for a fantasy, the feeling was real. So unbelievable real that I embraced it. A new challenge to face and conquer. An intense emotion to unleash and modulate away from bringing overwhelm.

And through all, I discovered that to grow in love, after meeting others’ vices, is harder than to live with hate and fear, but the amount of time lost in grief, as a result, is shorter. Love is a cove from which strength comes from, and weaknesses become less seen and relied upon. It gives endurance to the finish line during uncertain and restless times. It can return twenty-four lost years and more at light speed and within the blink of an eye. And sometimes, life isn’t about me.