So Close

I was searching for a job and wanted a career coach. I don’t remember if they switched speakers or if the coach was always there for people after the events. 

Instead John was there telling people who could make any person into a magnet for the social life they wanted. How to a get job through body language, connection, and charm. 

He oozed charisma and stuck out in a crowd of people. As he passed me by he touched my knee. No one not ever touches me without consent especially apart of the body that felt so intimate for a stranger. I was in awe and ever drawn to his blatant boldness. 

So it should be no surprise that I would look for ways to discover more about him. I invited him to speak with an another organization in which I was looking for speakers.

We met over coffee which only left my intrigue to become even deeper. He wanted to expand the classes from basic social skills to developing social mastery. His ideas to help people were endearing, engaging, and underdeveloped. 

In two weeks, he would host an event that was a fundraiser for an organization that helps artists. Maybe it was because I invited him to an art museum which he coincidently walked past me on the way back. 

It isn’t this event that caught my eye nor the controversial marketing technique of him with a woman’s hand on his shoulder and some hair.

I found this a little sleazy despite the fact that I said that would create a stir. And we would meet up but never officially go out. 

I would attend the social events he was hosting as he encouraged it despite saying I did not need the classes and courses. 

He flirted in front of me yet he seemed to have found the perfect bar of books and tried sharing it with me. I failed to go because my friend was underage and unwilling to sneak in.

This was followed up with book swap event in which he seemed to listen in on the conversations he had. He even made it a point for me to talk with his best friend. At the end of the night he declined me walking home with him.

But yet there were references to things said in person, emails, or voicemails throughout. I couldn’t tell if he wanted my attention or was craving marketing ideas. To watch him build something so aligned felt strange.

So I broken down and left a voicemail saying what are you waiting for?!?!? Your band to play underneath the Golden Gate Bridge at sunset and to invite 11 people on Facebook. The only day that doesn’t work is July 12th. 

The event was July 12th in the middle of my Lake Tahoe trip which I wouldn’t leave because it was a group trip.

I cursed and hate the whole thing. I couldn’t stop thinking he was a jerk for inviting me to an event I could not attend.

I wrote songs like I am too to care. Can’t you get a clue. And I think I fell for a narcissist. A thief of ideas.

He liked ideas not the person. That tracked yet I couldn’t stop thinking about leaving. What if I could and that’s a no because someone parked me in and it was college credit class. And I don’t skip school.

It seemed drizzly. So I slept and woke up to the teacher saying we were rained out.

I drove 3-4 hours to arrive when the band was packing up. I will never forget seeing him. 

“How did you like the show?”

“I just got here.”

“You missed the show?”

“I just go here from a four hour drive from Lake Tahoe.”

“You missed the show?”

A bandmate stopped and said “she’s here.”