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Secrets Women Tell

by X 6 months ago in Secrets · updated 15 days ago

When we want someone to listen

Secrets Women Tell
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

It blew my mind that I knew this personal information that she would share with very few others. It also touched me that she felt comfortable enough with me to tell me.

By engin akyurt on Unsplash

Other clients have revealed family secrets, such as favoritism and nepotism, that have caused them to have more success than others, and it seemed to make them feel some degree of guilt.

I had one woman tell me how she was falling out of love with her boyfriend of 20 years and falling in love with a woman she met online. She ended up breaking up with the guy, who was actually okay with the breakup, and a year later she married the woman she met online. She had been my client for 4 years or so. She was a quiet, hard-working social worker who didn't even used to talk during her sessions. I did not see that coming.

By JJ Jordan on Unsplash

When I was just a child, one of my classmates told me that her uncle had sexually abused her. I didn't know what to say or who she should tell. A few decades later, a co-worker told me that her sister's husband, who was in the military, molested her while she slept on their couch one night. She wanted to tell her sister, but was afraid of how it would affect their family. I wasn't sure what to tell her either. It seemed like it made her feel better just to have someone listen.

One of the secrets that quite a few women have shared with me over the past 30 years is their inability to orgasm during sex or by themselves.

By Ben White on Unsplash

I was shocked when a few female friends in their 20s and 30s told me that they had never had an orgasm of any kind. Ever. I feel as though if a man said this, it would be way more incredulous. It's surprising, but not nearly as surprising to hear this about a woman and I think that is a damn shame. There are many factors that play into this, such as stigmas around female sexuality and pleasure that I won't get into now, but will in the future.

Oftentimes we as people, men and women, just need someone to listen to and not "fix" things. Some secrets can eat us alive mentally and emotionally and end up taking their toll physically. I highly recommend expressing more than repressing.

The truth, even told to a stranger or on a piece of paper, really can set us free.


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