Second Guessing

Each day was unpredictable as I was now the second person in Hazard Materials. The dreary place seemed to offer a little more time to stay before the other workers left. The other one had left, so I was finally getting to stay there more often. Each task was given to me as I assisted the main person. Times were tough, with a lack of work on some, but I was given more time to pick up as the work came in. Things were still going more decently at times. Brenda seemed more accepting as I gained more details about the procedures I was learning. Brenda was older but was glad to have some help from me, and it was working. Even to get through the day, I learned at least to pick and pack with so many details, thanks to the US government. Even on the same day, there are dusty crevasses to pick in its own separated areas. Finally, finding my place without an annoying rate to follow was available. It was better than managing the two belts and running around like the Flash previously. It was going good as could be, and I was ready for the next stage of shipping.

I had asked, and only the two previous had known; Brenda was one of them who learned the shipping process. It was a more difficult step with a report filled out and properly shipped on skids. The task seemed daunting, but since doing it has become more mundane. It was a request that seemed to be ignored by the bosses, with the excuse that they already had someone. I look back now and maybe just should have found another job. Yet with the management, it never made sense to give a backup person. It was still going decently with everything else. I was mastering picking and packing through memorization, hoping it would all improve. Then I became sick for a month with a terrible, long cold. I still showed up to work, but I was ready to be finished with the illness.

I finally improved and felt better after a month of working through it and taking an antibiotic. It was getting comfortable with the daily work that I could just work in Haz, but still no shipping. Things were going fine as the days continued as usual. Then came COVID-19 with its rules. The start was not awful, but suddenly Brenda disappeared, being at a higher risk. The time off was given, and I was left alone, along with the missing second shipper who had disappeared. The days were chaotic, with everything, as I was left alone for the first time. The other crew member, Anna, had come in on extra days during my shift. Anna was familiar with the days of regular picking. I walked that day to hear the news, to learn how to ship after the two had left. It was welcome, but all my side had left, and now I had to learn quickly. The first day, I just took my notebook and watched the even more stringent procedures. Each line had to be right, as the weights had to be within the limits set by government rules. It was daunting as I wrote each step down, intrigued by the very thing I wanted to learn. Two days with Anna were all they gave me, as I had to get through the complexity of detail that could end in punishment if done wrong. It was then, two days later, that I finally handled the shipping on my own, and was not ready.

I took my notes as best I could, taking my time to ship the stores. Speed comes with mastery, and I was nowhere near that yet. I did my best to choose the right dock door and ensure everything was as accurate as possible on the bill of lading. It took such a long time, but I was going to get it right. I put the items in the report as best I could from my notes. The right number of boxes was placed on the skid, according to the notes taken from my trial by fire. Even putting the pallet in the right dock door was challenging. I followed every note to place the items on the skid. Then I wrapped it as Brenda used to when I watched. Even the other guy did it the same way, and I was ready to get everything as instructed the previous days. It was a slow day compared to now, but I was just learning and wanting to make it as perfect as possible. It was scary, as I still had questions, but I continued as the day drew to a close. At the end, I had only sent three stores out, and I had spent a lot of time on each one. I double-checked myself as best I could and delivered them to the dock doors. If there were mistakes, I do not think I made any.

I had to work an extra day in those times despite a disease ravaging through the workplace. It was relaxing as I came into the meeting and saw the other crew member, Jane. She was strict, even with her own personal procedure becoming more important than just the set rules. Jane had been there a long time, also. Jane could only reprimand me for putting two types of Hazmat on the skid together that were now against the rules. Jane had no trouble calling out anything you had done, yet she hid her own reports in case she made a mistake. The procedure had changed since my weekend, and I apparently was not made aware of it. I chose to ignore the harsh words for those I had not been told about. I was following the notes, and they stated I could put those two together. This was going to make her mad, no matter how I responded, as it would be reflected in our working together till she finally quit much later. Jane was older, too, and set in her ways, but bossier than anyone else in the work area. I did change to fit the proper procedure, but I never really enjoyed working with Jane anyway. After that day, I was doing better, but you would never hear that from Jane.

I became more confident as I became more effective at shipping, and was alone for most of COVID-19, so I did not have to wear my mask at my desk for a long time. I did make my fair share of mistakes, but Jane told me every time. Others were angry but more forgiving as I improved my personal technique. After a long time, I received some help on my shift from my current friend. Abby was much nicer, and she learned quickly, too, but I was there to help, not left alone to figure it out without a friend. I expected to learn and enjoy shipping, but I still pack the best to this day. It was a new skill that was turning into a mastery, but the stress never let up, even after the mask was no longer required.

Haz was doing fine for many years with no major management involvement, and we still finished the work on time. It was nice to have no rate and the freedom to do my work effectively and accurately. It was nice to finally have the crew working out, and then came the change made by idiots. They had to make a name for themselves, and my comments did not help a thing, as my area was moved alongside a rate with a lead directly over us. Those two were fired years later for different reasons, but I could do nothing about the situation. It was a larger space given to us from the cubby hole we were in, until another boss decided to make it smaller and less efficient to make a name for themselves years later, and gave it to the wrong department. I did not make my life better in the long run by going to this area, but still, it remains one of the better ones, sadly. My complaints were ignored and never improved, as more bosses want to make things worse. It is not the same as when I started, and I could not improve a thing.

I try to improve by offering more plans, but the decisions have only become worse when more responsibility was added. The changes were kept despite the confusion they caused. It has been a journey of continual disaster, marked by much disappointment, with no real improvements from the current management. I do want the best of the area, but most of the enthusiasm has been lost since my friend left. I am ready to move on to another opportunity, as all my decisions have made things worse for me and the area where I work.