Receiving a One-Month In-School Suspension (Grade 10)
Girls. They'll make a weird boy do crazy things.
My trouble was always different and often creative. I wasn't lighting trash cans on fire, but was about to receive my longest in-school suspension; one month. And it was all for a girl.
Juliet was dating another guy while telling Little Romeo how bad he treated her. How could she not want to be with this cutie instead? She'd say it didn't matter because I was chasing all the girls. I wasn't dating them though, and she was dating Paris; it never made sense.
I'd been holding out for Juliet doing a triathlon, but I also didn't want to spend my entire high school single. I wanted some good memories, and the only ones I had contained a stable relationship. I could chase Juliet for ten years, and she might just marry Paris anyways.
I knew time wasn't slowing down for other girls, but nothing seemed to work. I lacked the ability to effectively put myself in Juliet's shoes. In the off time, Grumpy Greta asserted herself into the mix.
Christmas came and all I wanted was a cellphone, I was already late to the show, but just wanted it to annoy a Little Tall Girl. I made a presentation with fake graphs and statistics like I had a few years earlier. I didn't get what I wanted then, so I made sure to be more precise. It needed unlimited calling and texting. I hit them with truth, "It might help me stay in contact with people if I move or they move,"
I only worried mom would buy me something weird; one with a coat string or in the shape of a boomerang. If I ever lost it, it might come back to me.
When Christmas came, I knew there had to be a cellphone. Usually I'd start with the big gifts, but cellphones were small. It wasn't there! Did they even read my Christmas lists?! I JUST WANT TO TEXT A GIRL WAAY TOO MUCH!! My brain screamed.
Mother Teresa asked if I was happy and I sadly said I was. Then she informed me they had one more gift in her bedroom. She came out with a small box as I lit up big. I unwrapped a KRZR, a shiny blue flip phone.
After formalities were over, I rushed to send Juliet a message online. "Merry Christmas Beautiful! :)" capitalizing beautiful as if it were her first name. Paris wasn't being very nice and she was sad. I told her she wasn't allowed to be sad on Christmas. "What's your cellphone number?" I asked with a suave-like smile she couldn't see.
"You got a cellphone for Christmas?" she asked.
"Sure did! Now I can call and text you all the time!" I said heart gleaming. She'd been forewarned but gave me her number.
Phones would have the weirdest evolution before they became smart. Every week or two someone would show up with a new, crazier phone. Each one having seemingly swallowed the previous to inherit its weirdness. Most people had phones, so the school started cracking down on them. Three strikes and your phone was confiscated for the day. I had amazing luck though, maybe I'd hit a home run.
Math only got worse. Not only were the concepts slipping, they'd replaced a well-established teacher with a man fresh out of school. That's how Babyface got his nickname, doomed from the start.
Jesse was in this class and he showed up drunk with a 2-6 in his coat, drinking it in class. Baby face didn't notice at first, even among snickers. Kevin didn't like Little Romeo no matter how hard I'd try, yet seemed like a good kid. Babyface would be buddies with the socially cool kids, while having it out for me.
Babyface had been dealing with something personal and was called to the office, the Underworld. I was trying to be good, for the most part. We watched as Jesse went to the front, grabbed chalk, and drew a giant Phallus on the board. We all laughed as he sat down and told us to be quiet.
Babyface walked back in, head lowered, texting. He closed the door and went to the front without looking at the board. He put his phone away, and while he apologized, the whole image became erect in his periphery. We all burst out laughing.
"Okay, who drew this?" he asked, turning around while we bellowed harder, "Jory?" he said eyeing me up.
I stopped laughing. I was a troublemaker, but had little interest in phallus drawings or jokes. "Hey now, I didn't draw that!" I said frustrated.
Babyface wasn't convinced. He erased it saying, "You're always doing something in my class, it's going to end now!" The other boys grinned while I sat angry, arms crossed. Game on, Babyface.
Not even a week passed before he was called back to the office. The class took the opportunity to converse. I noticed Jesse heading for the board. "What are you doing?" I yelled as the class became fixated on him.
"Nothing..." Jesse said, clearly picking up chalk and starting the base to another Phallus. I pleaded, telling him I always got blamed and would again. By the time I approached, the whole thing had been erected. "No you won't, he wouldn't expect you'd do it twice,"
I argued that Babyface hated me. "Okay, okay. Wouldn't want you to get in trouble or anything," he said. But like most, he didn't realize how low I was on currency that got you out of trouble, even minor trouble. He started erasing the outline of the phallus with the corner of the brush.
The class laughed as I hopped on top of him, "Okay, have it!" he said thrusting the brush and pushing me off. I frantically waxed on and off, but nothing helped. I didn't have enough spit. I rushed to sit down, staring up at my doom.
Babyface walked in and wouldn't be fooled twice, "Romeo, office,"
"Why? That wasn't me!" I stated, crossing my arms. But I wasn't about to snitch, having learned those consequences. He wouldn't have it, saying I could take it up in the Underworld with Hades, the Vice Principle. "For eff sakes!" I said, shooting Jesse an angry look.
We approached the Underworld, Hades awaiting another visit from Little Romeo. Babyface smiled menacingly, opening the gates for me. I walked in as they closed shut.
I didn't see a point in fighting, no one ever believed me. I just let him lecture me on his fine, water damaged, institute.
I got the cellphone and had been good in class, far better than most. I was texting mom but failed to do so in secret. Babyface asked for my cellphone.
I was confused, this was my first offence. He argued that he'd given the class plenty of warnings, but I wasn't the class. Didn't he know I was in a triathlon for a girl? This was semester two, the biking portion of it. He said I knew the rules and to hand it over.
He was right, the rules were clear; three strikes. I wasn't going down without a fight. He approached and I stuck the phone down my pants, attaching the flip to my underwear. "Yeah... That ain't going to happen..." I said. He wasn't going to risk his job or I'd sue! "It's down my pants right now, and I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to reach back down there..." I said flicking my fingers with a disgusted look on my face.
He asked me to stand up, figuring it would fall out. I did so and followed with a little jaunt of mockery. He grunted and stormed off to fetch his master in the Underworld.
I asked a friend to hold onto my phone. It had come from my underwear, he wasn't going to touch it unless it was cleaned, "If you can wash it, and make it back here before Babyface, I'll hold onto it,"
Run Romeo, Run! With the clock racing, I ran against it to the nearest washroom. I washed it and raced back without any cares. If I turned the corner and Babyface was there, I'd turn around and leave the school. This was love and life.
The Knight in Dusty Armor would lay my sword upon Babyface, proceeding to the Underworld to confront Hades. Even with my severe dislike for dogs, I'd have walked right up to Cerberus and smacked it on one of it's three noses. I'd walk up to Hades, hand extended, and demand my cellphone. "I need it to text a girl!"
But the coast was clear so I went into class. "Impressive," he said taking the phone, "what's the plan?"
I didn't have one, not having thought any of this through. I suggested he hid it in his locker, I'd come retrieve it later. Like coincidental magic, Babyface walked in.
"Come with me to the Underworld, Romeo," he said with power in his baby faced smile.
"Awe... are you going to escort me personally?" I egged at him, wanting him to.
"I'm going to parade you right into that office," he said menacingly.
"Perfect, lead the way Babyface!" and he hadn't heard his nickname until that point. He reached for my arm and I snapped, "Hey! Don't EVER touch me! I'm following you!" he grunted and led the way.
We reached the Underworld and he followed through the gates this time. A battle of wits was about to ensue with Hades. "It seems like you're in the Underworld a lot," he said as I took my seat.
"It would indeed see that way," I said with a sarcastic nod like I'd just realized it. Hades reached into his vat and pulled out a little speech on respecting teachers, especially new ones. "He's had it out for me since day one. This was my first cellphone warning. Everyone else gets away with shit,"
I could get away with a lot, but my hot tongue only led to a hot-headed Hades, "Watch your language," and he sent Babyface back to class. This had already dragged on forty minutes, "Just hand over the phone,"
"Well actually... I don't have it," I said coyly. Maybe if I'd just told him it was for love. He asked what I meant, "Like, I don't physically have the phone. I lost it in the kerfuffle. In my pants one second, gone the next. It was like... Magic..." I said squinting my eyes, leaning in, recalling what magic felt like.
Temperatures rose as he demanded I stand up, flip my pockets out. I did so, "Magic," I said jumping up and down. He offered me one more chance. "You're right, it hasn't disappeared completely... It's somewhere in the school!" I said with a shocked look on my face.
Hades went red instead of the blue you'd expect. He started counting down like my parents would before a life grounding, "One week in-school suspension," he said.
"In-school?" I squawked, "That's like a vacation man!"
"Two weeks in-school suspension,"
"Two weeks? Is that the maximum penalty?" I asked, growing angry myself.
Hades just replied, "Three weeks in-school suspension,"
I continued prodding, water evaporating into steam, "Isn't that against like, children's rights or something?"
But he didn't waiver, "Four weeks of in-school suspension,"
Four weeks clicked, that was a whole month and my parents were not going to be happy. I told him he was missing the point, probably because I rarely told people the point. But they were taking my phone! And I'd grown tired of double standards.
He wasn't interested in my points and said I was making a mockery of the school. The one with water damaged ceiling tiles, convinced one would eventually fall and take out a student. "We could expel you, Romeo," he stated.
I wasn't sure he could over phone abuse, that seemed pretty extreme. While I could gamble on myself, I could never gamble on Juliet. If I got expelled, if I went to a different school for that reason, that was surely the end. I wouldn't get to see her everyday. I told him I had conditions.
"You aren't in a bargaining position here, Romeo," Hades said.
I continued anyways, "Anyone connected to the whereabouts of my phone, won't get in trouble,"
"This was my idea, I lit the ship on fire, the passengers shouldn't have to burn for that," I didn't care about getting in trouble nearly as much as I cared about other getting in trouble because of me. He thought everyone should get punished but conceded.
I wasn't sure if I could believe him, but in negotiations, there's always a little give and a little take. Hades wanted to confiscate my phone the entire time I was in Bridges, the name for in-school suspensions. I doubt that would have flown with my parents who paid the monthly bill.
"You can keep my phone until the end of the day, as your rules state," I told him.
"Your mom has to pick up the phone from me personally before five. The phone stays until she can,"
I agreed. He didn't know my mother had an EDO in a couple days. After an hour and a half, the battle of wits was coming to an end. I added a sprinkle of sarcasm, throwing my hands in the air, "You win, you've beat me," Yet, I felt like I'd won.
"Romeo, this isn't about winning, it's about principle,"
He retrieved my friend from class, "I don't know where Romeo's phone went, did you check down his pants?" and I stopped him, saying the rouse was up but Hades agreed not to punish him if he got the phone. Hades fate was sealed; if he went back on his word, the entire school would know.
He grabbed the phone while I gave him the hardest stare down to let him know not to mess around. He sent my friend back to class and we went into the office to fill out paperwork. I'm sure he wanted to send me home the first day, but knew I'd insist on my mother picking me up and getting my cellphone back.
"You dug your own hole, four weeks of in-school suspension," he stated.
"Yeah, we all have to live with our choices," I fake sighed.
"I'm glad I've taught you something," Hades replied.
I'd start in-school that day. I'd still retain my lunch periods, and was right in the middle of one. I went to find Juliet who was undoubtedly curious why a Little Romeo wasn't chasing her around. But I was, just in my own weird way.
I walked down the halls with an extra pep in my step, feeling like I had a leather jacket on. My absence had been noted.
"How bad was it?" one person asked.
"Eh, not terrible..." I shrugged, walking by.
"Hades rip you a new hole?" another asked.
"Not before I ripped him a couple first," I replied smiling.
And then I saw Juliet in the distance, the only reason for such a coup de tat. I'd entered the radius of her magic and the voices around became "wah wah wah's" again. I smiled big as soon as I noticed her among the people. "Hey!" I said smiling big, my pace increasing, stars in my eyes.
Juliet turned around, "Where have you been?!" she said, smacking me on the shoulder with an annoyed look on her face. I told her what happened, "I wanted to be able to text you!" I said smiling.
"You shouldn't be getting in trouble Romeo, especially not for me," she said as I looked dismayed. If Little Romeo had taken anything to heart, it probably should have been "don't get in trouble". My key to just being a nerd, but my inferences only stacked up that being one wasn't working either.
"I need your phone to call my mom," I said.
"Oh?" she inquired, searching for her first generation Iphone.
"Yeah, mom has to pick up my cell phone personally. Without it, I can't text you girl!" she handed me her phone and said to be quick, lunch was almost over. I quickly explained the situation to Mother Teresa, that as usual, it was worse than it sounded. She agreed to make arrangements and we'd discuss consequences later.
With ducks in a row, I gave Juliet back her expensive phone as the bell rang. I lunged for a hug as she gave me the cold shoulder. I guess I was in trouble, but I hugged her back anyways. Even back hugs felt great!
I started the in-school suspension in a room that felt like doom and gloom. I met the Warden, Mr. J (RIP). He was an older man, introducing himself and the rules. I should get used to them, 'cause a month was a long time to be suspended.