Really, that happened?

I have been a Heating, Venting and Air Conditioning (HVAC) service technician for over twenty years, and am called out to five - ten homes a day. I have come across a variety of situations over the years, ranging from humorous to just plain weird. The following are those that stand out to me. Some of them may be hard to believe, but they all happened, and I have tried to record them here to the best of my memory. Hope you enjoy them!

The Flashlight:

It began as a normal service call. Mike was a new technician fresh out of school and riding along with me to learn the ropes. We were called out to a house for a problem with the furnace and when we arrived, we were met by the lady of the home. After an initial examination of the furnace, I deduced there was an electrical problem. We needed to trace the power wire back through the basement. It was dark, and cluttered, so the homeowner asked us to wait while she got a flashlight, even though we already had flashlights. So, we waited. When she returned, she had an enthusiastic smile and presented us with her flashlight, claiming it was the best flashlight she had ever owned. It was a medium sized flashlight about five inches long, and about an inch in diameter (this will be important later in the story). She handed it to Mike. He respectfully said it seemed like a nice flashlight (meanwhile looking at me behind her back with a “WTH” look). Mike handed the flashlight back to the homeowner. We moved through the basement checking the wiring while the homeowner made sure to light the way with her flashlight like a proud momma. We found a junction box after some searching which seemed like it might be the problem, so we had her go turn the breaker on and off a few times for us. She was quite upset when she came back. It seemed she must have set the flashlight down at some point and couldn’t find it or remember where it was. She then made the comment, “I can’t believe I lost it. I should just keep that thing in my ass.” (Please see earlier dimensions)! So, Mike and I shared a knowing look. His look said, “I can’t believe she just said that” and “I can’t believe I touched that flashlight.” My look said, “We need to finish this up and get the hell out of here” and “I can’t believe you touched it either.” We quickly fixed the wiring, got the furnace up and running and got out of there before she came out with spare flashlights that she wanted to keep who knows where!

The Girl and the Eye Drops:

Another day and another furnace problem. I was called out to a large home where I was met by a mother and her two small children. They showed me to the basement where the furnace was located back behind the washer and dryer near the water heater. I went to work and was busy diagnosing the problem for about twenty minutes when I heard someone coming down the stairs into where I was working. I looked up from my work to see the daughter of the homeowner standing near the dryer next to the furnace. She looked to be about five years old or so and was holding a prescription bottle of eye drops in her hand. She just boldly asked, “Will you put these drops in my eyes please because my mom is busy right now?” I looked at her with disbelief and said the most intelligent thing I could think of. I said, “What?” She repeated her request to have me put in her eye drops. Sooooo I thought, “This five year old girl wants me, a stranger, to put an unknown prescription medicine in her eyes in the dark basement of her house without her parents knowledge or permission?” I mean really, what could POSSIBLY go wrong with that? I looked around figuring this HAD to be some sort of prank joke or 20/20 trap. Was Chris Hansen waiting to jump out behind the water heater??? I shooed the little girl back upstairs and told her she would of course, have to wait for her mother to put her eye drops in. Then I quickly finished my work and left before more weirdness occurred. Where is the stranger danger???

The Funeral:

This was an air conditioner problem. The customer owned a set of apartments where one of the air conditioners had stopped working and he set a time to meet me there. I waited for him at the apartments for almost 30 minutes after we had agreed to meet and was just about to leave when he finally showed up. He stated that he was late because he had to go to a funeral for his daughter-in-law. I immediately felt bad and told him it was fine as I got my tools and proceeded to the air conditioner. As we were walking he started talking about his daughter-in-law, saying how she was a real looker - at least until she got hooked on the drugs. He continued, “You know the kind of girl you would like to see go around a pole a few times … yeah that was her.” I almost dropped my tool bag on the ground. All I could think of was how I wondered if his son knew he was thinking about his daughter-in-law “going around a pole a few times.” The rest of the service call was very quiet.

The Door:

I was doing some routine maintenance on a furnace in a single wide mobile home. If you are familiar with the layout of most of these homes, you know that the furnace is usually in a long hallway near the end of the trailer near a bedroom. The homeowner was a little old lady in her eighties who was in the living-room watching TV. As I was working on the furnace the bedroom door, which was just slightly ajar, slooooowly opened up with a theatrical squeaking noise. I glanced over the five feet or so separating me from the door and saw it was mostly open now. This is the point in most movies where you would be thinking, "Don't go in there!" But being brave (or stupid), I thought maybe someone was in the room that I possibly startled. So I got up and called into the room, “Hello anyone there?” There was no response, and I couldn’t see anyone in there either. I quickly looked around the room to see a small bedroom with a made up bed looking like nothing had been touched in a while. I told myself not to be superstitious and went back to my work. A few minutes later the door moved again - just a bit further open. There was no draft. No person. Just the door. The windows were closed, and the homeowner was in the living-room. I had enough! I gathered my tools - made sure all was working with the furnace, and left. I hope someone else has to do the maintenance there next year.