Ramblings of the Sleep Deprived
Early mornings with ADHD
By M. A. Mehan Published 3 years ago • 3 min read
- 3:30 alarm
- Good freaking morning
- Why am I doing this
- Is this job really worth it?
- I hope the store mysteriously can’t open and I’ll just have to come home
- I admire people who get up this early every single day
- Wait, I AM one of those people who get up this early every day
- Lowkey?
- Proud of myself
- I’m so burnt out
- My bed is so comfy
- Weighted blanket:
- A) A blessing
- B) A curse
- Do they really need me this early?
- It’s just coffee
- I need coffee
- Fine
- Will anyone notice I have an espresso stain on my jeans?
- It’s fine I’ll wash them when I get home
- (No I won’t)
- How long is my shift again?
- Oh no it’s a long one
- *cries inside*
- Helloooo dark circles
- Screw skincare, it’s 3:45
- At least brush your teeth
- I wonder when the toothbrush was invented?
- I’d hate to live without a toothbrush
- Ugghhh I’m so tired
- “Alexa, play 80’s hype music”
- SweetChildOMine.mp3
- Braiding hair with no thoughts, head empty
- Oh shoot it’s almost 4 hurry up
- Where the HECK are my boots
- Where the HECK is my coat
- Where the HECK-
- Ah
- Keys are right there, genius
- It’s cold outside
- It’s 40 degrees?
- It’s not THAT cold ya wimp
- Ok podcast time!
- *immediately disassociates*
- Guess not, switching back to music
- NoahKahan.mp3
- Why am I hitting all the red lights?
- Tbh I don’t really like red
- Do I actually dislike the color or is it the cultural and societal connotations that have conditioned me to view it as negative…
- Green light
- Green light, woman!
- Alright, finally on the freeway, let’s make up some time
- Why are LED headlights so BRIGHT
- Too bright
- I’m blind have some compassion
- Why are we going so FAST
- It’s too early for your shenanigans, blue-collar work truck, back off
- *disassociates 2.0*
- Hm if I get off at this exit I could go to K’s house instead and fall asleep on her couch. They don’t reaaaaally need me at work.
- Speaking of friends
- Is D&D this Saturday or next Saturday?
- I need to update my character sheet
- *slowly remembering all the trauma my character has been going through*
- ElmoOnFire.gif
- Oh boy
- Next session is going to be rough
- Whenever it is
- Ok time to change freeways
- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
- Not so bad this time actually
- Nice
- Oh yay now it’s EXTRA FAST FREEWAY
- No difference in speed limit
- Not physically anyways
- But in our hearts
- Need to go 90
- All the time
- So Speedy
- Now where was I?
- Exploring my own insecurities and deepest fears in a roleplaying game is so complex. To be a detached puppet master and yet experiencing things intimately as a character is paradoxical and yet freeing? I’ve had the opportunity to explore my imposter syndrome and irrational fear of abandonment without having to live it again. It’s healing but in a very traumatizing way. This blue-haired dumpster fire of a girl has become an integral part of my imagination over the past year and a half and I don’t know what I would do without her. And also the fact that I get to tell a story with a table full of my besties, for me that is a writer’s dream come true. I will absolutely freak out at plot developments but I’m giggling evilly inside because the backstory references or the foreshadowing is just too juicy and I get so impatient to continue with the joy that is collaborative storytelling but also DRAGONS my word I love D&D.
- One more turn and we’re here
- Alright
- Time to pretend I like people
- Cool
About the Creator
M. A. Mehan
"It simply isn't an adventure worth telling if there aren't any dragons." ~ J. R. R. Tolkien
storyteller // vampire // arizona desert rat
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