Pissed Off

Fuck off. Boys who tell you all sweet things- don't trust them.

My walls just feel like they continue to grow higher and higher, I don't trust anyone. Friends, even family. I have such a hard time trusting people.

I went on 5 dates with this guy, and sure we didn't have a super deep emotional bond but I figured we were just getting to know one another.

I just feel lik all men fucking suck at the moment. I need to stop dating again. And meet more girlfriends. This was the first guy I could have actually envisioned dating for the long term- and it ended when I expressed that I enjoyed his company and actually planning the trip he kept talking to me about.

Like fuck off ******. You were the one who suggested going on those trips- not me. I only followed up with it after you had talked so much about it. For you to not respond at all? I'm over it. Is it that hard to have good communication?

God people just suck. I am pissed, frustrated, and sad about losing this connection and not having any control in the matter. I just don't understand what happened- again did I feel an especially strong desire towards this man? No. But did I prefer his company then others? Yes. What the fuck?

If he contacts me again, what will I do? All the tarot cards have been saying he will suggest being friends because he doesn't see it going anywhere. Did he talk to his family and they suggested he cut it off? Did he say we are only physical with each other?

Honestly I was having these issues too with him. I wasn't really laughing as much anymore. He didn't feel like a friend. I wanted to feel closer to him emotionally, I was planning on us playing this card game together to build up that foundation between us better.

This ghosting shit kind of hurts after seeing them 5 times and having it end right. after sleeping with them. To top it off- he always kicked me out. He never let me stay over. Fuck this man. Given I would also have work in the morning and need to get home. But literally what the fuck. God I am so pissed.

The more I write about it- the more pissed I get. I just wish he responded with something... I'm just hurt cause I felt like it was more than it was. Tarot said he is indifferent about it all tho.

They said that he just love-bombed me to get into my pants. They said he's trouble. God I fucking hate men. Once they get what they want, they leave you high and dry.

It just sucks cause I try so hard to find good guys, and then I just get fucked over. Maybe we are just too different. God I just hate him so much.

I just feel so sick and disgusted with myself for letting it happen, even tho it isn't my fault. I should be able to trust and love in relationships- I should be able to just trust. I'm sick of this shit god.

Why bring me someone like that into my life? Did I not have enough karmic to deal with for all my past relationships? Was it a red flag since he never talked about past relationships? I just don't understand any of this.

He gaslighted the shit out of me- to the point that I just feel really sad about them not contacting me back. I just hate him right now, fuck you ******. And fuck fake friends. Fuck friends who reach out, but don't mean it. I am sick of being the only friend to reach out to my friends first.

Maybe I should just date my ex. He just doesn't have the strength to ever reach out to me tho and say that he wants to try again. We wanted different things.