Overrated Love

I do not want to go back to this constant tug of love and war where sometimes you love me more and I love you more but somehow we foolishly keep squabbling about how to weigh our love in actions and in simple gestures of kindness.

Does it matter in the grand scheme of things in this realm of physical who has indulged more in the immoral behavioural patterns?

Unfortunately, this ridiculous world pre-conceptualised on creating boundaries so that we can all fit into our designated cubicles with a specific function.

They always and never cease to say that Love is blind but not only that, it cripples you to an extent where the vision of yourself gets fogged up with one of your partner and no one minds. That is because in this mist, lies a happy bubble of “things”: these are characteristics of what society uses to coerce us with. Freedom of being yourself unapologetically, sex, smiling for no reason, expressing yourself in ways that no one else would dare to understand.

In this effervescent of emotion, two people create space for each other so that both are welcomed with respect all the time with always a breath of fresh air. In that dimension which could be under a blanket, in each other’s arms or just over a phone call, there is adequate warmth and abundance metastasised that at some point no-one wants to come back to reality for a while.

Loving consists of giving fully and receiving with an open heart. Whether it is pleasure, food, advice, kisses or anything else, there is a distinct intonation, a soft gaze, the kindest words utilised, soothing caresses where no one else would touch you, mellow breathy whispers that only sound harmoniously, fickle fondle when no-one is paying attention. The list is endless but despite the lack of these mentioned, the love between the two is maintained by Trust.

Love is built on a scaffolding of Trust and they walk hand in hand.

Humans have the need to belong and the connection provides a sense of gratification. Once the connection is induced and established, the exigent job is to still feel inquisitive about each other:

What can we discover together, where can we travel to and be silly, where is the most outrageous place to have sex, what are those weird fetishes you have dreamt of but never had the guts to say out loud, what are your views about this book, this constellation or how the universe has unfolded us onto each other and let us try to find out Why.

By virtue of us being together does not only depend on coincidence or serendipity, deep down somewhere it has to have a reason and that is where it is our collective beautiful purpose to unearth.

Unluckily at first, this uprooting can get unpleasant but bearable; for its reasons are not us as a couple but as individuals who have emerged from different cultural, social and ethical backgrounds with conditioned expectations that the other party has no idea of and also cannot fully decipher its unspoken and unheard consequences.

After a few repetitions, it turns too distasteful and ugly as one does not exactly unravel itself as predicted. Also, when the going gets hard, we turn our backs to each other and get immersed into anyone else but that person. Eventually, a minor difference takes the shape of a grotesque mould, engulfing and bursting that bubble.

What remains is two lonely individuals who have loved dearly and lost all, gone astray.

If I trust that you will be my companion, as from that point I have fully given myself to you. But then arises the curiosity of newfound people around the globe where we get excessively gregarious to discover and end up bonding them on a different level than the previous one. Does that make the prior connection insignificant?

What can be brutal is when one is already out of the hub and the other one is still lying there, reaching out in desperation but in vain. So patience bears fruits, they said thus the wait prolongs…

In the midst of incomprehensible forbearance, it carries on. On some days, there are glimpses of the Lover she once knew and could kiss for hours without getting bored. Now being a couple has become a task: like a household whereby the chore has to be done so, we can survive and linger with most emotions masked and washed away.

They do not really know each other anymore but the sole purpose to carry on is sustainability.