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Online Dating: A Part-Time Job

The mischievous sagas of dating in the District

By CJ LeonardPublished 2 years ago 2 min read
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Online Dating: A Part-Time Job
Photo by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash

So if you're a black woman living in the Washington DC area, like myself: you're smart, you're adventurious, with a twist of curiosity. i'm Cj. Yeah it stands for something, but I won't reveal my idenity quite yet because I have secrets.

I moved to the illustrious DMV (which I quickly learned does not stand for the department of motor vehicles) about 6 years ago with a literally change in my pocket and heart full of plans: get a degree, make new friends, and find a man.

I was in my mid-twenties, fresh off the press from the Midwest, and ready to start a new chapter in life. While I experienced a lot of ups and downs like: starting and leaving a grad programs, restarting grad school, getting a degree, becoming a licensed health worker, launching a buisness or two, and gaining lifelong friendships, one thing that has not quite fallen in line yet has beeing 'finding a man'. To clarify, 'a man worth keeping'. Due to hustle and bustle of living in The District (circa 2017), I decided to step into the illustirous world of online dating.

I have tried all the apps (Bumble, OkCupid--I used to swear by--, Coffee Meets Bagle, Hinge, Eharmony, Match.com, and even spoke to a rep at Tawkify) and have met quite the series of gentlemen. I even almost married one of them. Back in 2019, I was at the height of my game. I had 2 years of online dating experience under my belt. As my girlfriends and I headed out ot a retreat in near Leesburg, VA, I sat quietly in the back smiling at my phone. One of my friends asked,

'Cj, what's going on back there?'

'Oh nothing sis, just doing this online dating thing,' I replied.

'Online dating, it's like a part-time job', I added.

And it clicked.

I was putting in part-time hours for this online-dating thing. So many swipes, so many profiles, many people to filter through, questions to ask, and monotonos introductions to be had.

However, I was meeting some very...eclectic people in the process.

I have worked myslef out of not so keen situations, been wined-and-dined by a Bulgarian mobster, and travelled new heights and levels (literally and figurativley) all for the sake of sighting a potential connection. I've gotten a lot of laughs, cried an awful amount of tears, yet I would say it has been worth it.

I've shared my stories over the years to countless listening ears. And now, it's time to share these stories to a wider audience. So grab your pen, paper, and best mug, because this ladies, online dating, is a part time job.

Now of course, I'm not going to throw any of my previous swipe-right dates under the bus by calling them out by their full government name. However, I will give them each an endearing name that captures who they were to me...for that brief moment in time.

So here's the line up:

1. RuRu aka The Desperado

2. Mory aka The Mugshot

3. Aruun aka Gone Too Soon

4. Ashu aka Mr. Handcuffs

5. Hakeem aka The Heartbreaker Mama's Boy

6. Montis aka The Conman Mobster

7. Greral aka The Undercover Wig-man

Bonus: Men I met in real life

-Topher aka The Nepoleon

-Seal aka El Jefe

-Joe aka Mr. Postman

Dating
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