New Year’s 🎉

The year was 2010 and I was still friends with my Ex I was in love with him, so in love I ok’d just being his friend. See he and I have a lot of history, he actually saved my life. And although the relationship didn’t work out, we remained friends. Back then I had very strict rules. Never sleep with your Ex. That is actually a good rule to live by, less mistakes. However, if you still have feelings for your Ex, perhaps hanging out with him is not a good idea. You have to guard your heart. At that time I did not understand so I was ok with just being his friend. I’m sure he was ok with that too as we always had a good time when hanging out. Tommy has always been respectful when it came to making moves on a chick. I don’t understand how he could be a player. We will label him, the respectful player. We have been broken up longer than what we were together yet he never really made a move on me. Now that I see things a bit differently, I suspect he was intimidated by me. I will be sharing stories on this Blog and you decide! Was he intimidated or was he a respectful player? Either way I adore him, I would not be here today if it weren’t for him plucking me out of Ricks’s Cabaret on 33rd Street, NYC. Like I mentioned previously, we have a lot of history together. By 2010, I had landed my very first hotel job and was doing pretty well.. so I thought. This was the beginning of my depression. See he pulled me out of a very dark life and I failed to get help for myself mentally so I began to fall into depression. What I used to do for a living prior to 2010 embarrassed me, I was ashamed of myself and rather than get help I thought I was fine because I now had a regular job. Not a good move, once you have a life changing experience you must speak to someone of your hurt/trauma. What I did during my dark times in life caused trauma. The only person I hurt was myself because nobody else knew of that life, well Tommy knew what I was doing.. he met me at Rick’s. I am thankful for him because of him pulling me out I have reached my maximum potential. I had no idea I was so intelligent. Insecurities and a past history of trauma will limit your thinking into believing you’re not worthy. I lived a life of sadness until I met Tommy. For once I had someone who genuinely cared about me and did not try to make sexual advances toward me like everyone else? Even though I met him in a Strip Club he still respected me? WTF? Respectful player I tell you because we had our ups and downs. He played me, I played him. It went both ways but we decided to call it quits sometime in 2009-2010. He still wanted to be in my son’s life and I told him, if he were to be in my son’s life he could never leave or be in and out.. Tommy kept his word and stayed in my son’s life for years until I got into a serious (controlling) relationship in 2015. I have no regrets of the past as Mark Twain said, history doesn’t repeat itself but it rhymes. I needed to be in that controlling relationship to learn about my dark side and Toxic Family. Now that controlling relationship is in the past, I can share stories of my experiences and my beloved Ex who once upon a time saved my life. The memories bring a smile to my face and I cherish our time together. It’s a blessing that I am a writer because all of my journals will come to life and I will take you back in time. New York City, the city that never sleeps. The City where you can get anything you’d like so long as the price is right. And I will introduce to you the man who saved me, Mr. Thomas Edward Aldinger. Ironworker, Veteran, Player and Budlight lover. Yup he’s got plenty of stories too! So it’s New Year’s Eve and my home was the place to be. My mother and I cooked, my brother was home and brought his girlfriend along with his friend George. We’re having a good time drinking and eating traditional Puerto Rican food. Pernil y arroz con gandules and the list goes on. Soon as it hit midnight we hopped on the train toward NYC. Of course there were no cabs as it had just turned 1/1/11. So what do we do? We hailed a horse and carriage. We were drunk on a horse and carriage screaming HAPPY NEW YEAR! to everyone that passed us. The place to be was, The Mean Fiddler over on 47th street. We danced, we partied but I was longing to see my “friend” aka crush Tommy, the respectful player who was at another bar in NYC. So we took the party to where Tommy was. We had a blast but what I remember mostly was, me pushing myself on to my Ex! We were having some drinks and I had enough of the pretend bullshit. I put my hand on his chest at the bar and pushed up on him. I kissed him! We partied until the wee hours in the morning and took it to his apartment where I crashed at about 11am. Nothing happened because Tommy is a respectful player and my rule is never have sex with an Ex. We have lots of similarities I guess, but we crashed at 11 am and I was up by 1pm to go to work at the hotel. Although neither of us got laid, this was the best New Year I ever had. We love to laugh and dance so I am grateful I can now share stories of our past. Looking at the younger generation of today, I can say this.. ya’ll can’t hang. Not like how we did in our youth. Tommy would leave the bar to be at work at 7am, as an Ironworker and I could function on two hours rest. I do not see that in today’s youth. A security guard, not even 30 years old would fall asleep in the beginning of his shift at my recent job and I’m like WTF??! I hope in sharing my story it teaches folks to do better, even in party situations be respectful and be responsible. Now that’s partying like a G.