My RV Super Powers

I am still new at being a full-time RVer, but I feel like I have already learned some new things along the way. In some strange way, I like to think of them as superpowers. Kind of like the witches in the American Horror Story: Coven learned theirs as they matured. Or when a mutant eventually turned into one of the X-Men. Although I have to admit my superpowers are nowhere near as awesome, I would still like to brag about my new skills.

Being able to make the bed and not be out of breath.

Have you ever tried to make a bed inside of a camper? If not, let me tell you that it is not easy. Space is already a commodity and there is not much room between the wall to fit my leg. So, to wedge my PHAT ass in there to tuck in a comforter is hard.

Each day, I climb on top of the mattress, tug, tuck, and smooth the sheets as best as I can. Then I do the same thing to my husband’s side of the bed. By the time I get to the end, I’m ready to collapse, but on the floor. I don’t want to undo my hard work, after all. Although, I know that my dog is inevitably going to jump on it as soon as it’s made. To him, a freshly made bed is the equivalent of a great big pile of leaves waiting to be jumped into.

As a bonus to this category, I also discovered that I am capable of crawling out of my bed without back pain. 💪

My spidey senses go off knowing that it’s about time to dump the tanks.

Unlike normal household bathrooms, I have to physically go outside, open a valve, and take a dump. Literally. I pull a valve and my tanks pump themselves into the sewer line. Yes, it sounds gross. However, it’s part of the RV life.

I have heard of some people waiting until they notice a “funky smell,” before they realize their tanks are past the dump phase. (I’ll let your imagination guess as to what it may smell like.) Me? No way. Through the years, I have learned to listen to my gut and intuition. If she pokes me on the shoulder and starts to wonder, “Is it time to pull the valve?” then it is likely time.

I’ve even taken it a step further and got into the habit of emptying them regardless of whether they are full or not. In this situation, I learned it is better to be safe than sorry.

I have not personally had this happen to me, but you do NOT want to let your tanks overfill. I have heard too many horror stories about such things and I have vowed to not let that happen to me. As a result, I have become hyper-sensitive to dumping my tanks regularly. Have you read about my poop story? Trust me. I am not cleaning up an RV full of brown water. So far, so good. *fingers crossed*

Maximizing my limited space.

The secret to this is being multi-purpose, baby. Just about everything I have in my fifth wheel is aimed at being multi-purpose or has some kind of space-saving ability. If it doesn’t, it leaves as small of a footprint as possible.

Everything in the RV is a reduced size, including my refrigerator. I have read a lot of RVers end up going to the grocery store multiple times and often opt for less healthy solutions such as getting restaurant take-out.

Before we were living the nomadic life, I was a dedicated meal prepper. It not only keeps my eating in check, but it has saved on doing dishes, reduced food waste, and helps me stay within my grocery budget. Some RVers new to the lifestyle often complain, “You can’t meal prep in an RV.” As you can tell below, I respectfully disagree.

I have turned into the RV park’s local meteorologist.

Keeping an eye on the weather has been a part of the routine now. Before I take my fur baby out for his morning walk, I give the ole weather channel a peruse as I sip on my cup of hot joe. The next thing I know, I’m outside in my pajamas striking up a conversation with a fellow RVer while holding a bag of hot dog turd, “Yup! It’s gonna be a scorcher today!”

I’ve never given much regard to the weather before I starting living mobile. However, when you see that the wind is going to get bad enough that it can potentially rip your awning off your camper or catapult a lawn chair through your car window, you’ll start to care real quick.

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To many readers, these may be minuscule abilities. However, as an RVer, these skills catapult me from Newbie status to the Might-Have-a-Clue tier. It’s taken me a while to get to these achievements. (A year to be exact.), and I still have a lot to learn. Who knows? Maybe I can get to the comfort level of being able to hook up the pickup to the fifth wheel by myself and backing her in? I am not going to dive into that any time in the near future, but I can tell it will be soon, grasshopper. Soon.

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This article was originally published on Medium and CrystalsWritingRoom.