Letters To Jessica is part of a segment from The Adult Film Actress Jessica Grabbit's Official Podcast; Bizarre Sex News. Jessica is not a therapist.
Female From Ohio:
Dear Jessica,
My boyfriend told me I was gaining weight. I am not gonna lie to you, girl, I have gained 30 pounds. Should I be mad? I have never been big before. How can I lose weight and fast?
Well before you lose all that wight, welcome to the Big girls club! Heeeeeey!
Alright, so the question is should you be mad at your boyfriend for calling out your weight gain?
My answer; No. You should actually be kissing him and saying 'thank you so much honey for noticing' and then you may want to go further with that because guys are weird. He may not mean the comment in a bad way. He may mean it as a simple observation, because men are logical. They're not like us.
Women are shady. When a woman asks, "Are you gaining weight?" You already know when she asked that she was actually saying"b*tch, you're getting fat."
I strongly advise that you sit down and talk to him about why you're gaining weight. Weight gain in relationships can fall under various categories. Weight gain in a relationship could be a sign of happiness or sign of satisfaction. Weight gain can also be a sign of depression and stress. You need to figure out which one of those you are.
Are you satisfied? Happy? Stressed? Or Depressed? Once you nail those down. You work on finding a healthy way to combat it.
There's no healthy quick fix to this. Weight loss is never about the weight. It is about your psychological well being at that time. This is why self care is so important. You may need to go speak with a therapist.
There may be some issues that you're having in your relationship that you're not comfortable discussing with your boyfriend. There may be relationships in your familial tree with Mom, Dad,siblings that are contributing factors. Also, if you were the type of person who was a health nut and then all of a sudden, you're not healthy anymore and you're gaining weight, this could also be a concern factor for him. So no, you should not be mad at him.
I also want to point out, every 10 pounds is a dress size. So, you have gained three dress sizes in front of this man. I think you should be insulted had he not said a word. Some people would think ,"Maybe if I don't say anything about her gaining weight, I won't get in trouble." To me that means that they are not acknowledging the problem.
Sometimes women just want a man to acknowledge the problem and help her. That is the natural ebb and flow of a healthy relationship. To always want to help your partner be their absolute best. It goes both ways. Not just you being the best for him or him being his best for you, but you both wanting to be your best for each other and making sure that you're each other's best. So don't be mad at him.
Healthy tips. Keep a journal of everything that you eat. A food journal really tells on yourself, because then you have to write down EVERYTHING you eat (Including the three Snicker bars you ate :) A food journal makes you become more accountable for the food you are ingesting. Also be mindful of the thoughts that you're telling yourself, because again, we're our worst critics and we are very hard on ourselves.
So make sure that you say positive things to yourself. Try doing 5000 steps a day. You will see that you can get down those three dress sizes in no time.
I think that you can get the motivation to lose weight, if you really put your mind to it. The average weight loss that you can lose in a week is 2.5 lbs. You can do this in less than three months. 90 days. And then afterwards, when you see the results thank boyfriend! Let boyfriend know that you are so thankful for him because he stood by you and kept you motivated!
Relationships grow by motivating each other, encouraging each other, appreciating each other, acknowledging the good in one another, and acknowledging the little things. I like this letter. Thanks for writing it.-JG
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