Jealously

The emotion of jealousy is so strong, so all-consuming, such an adrenaline-fueled primitive response that it knows no boundaries of space, place, or time. Jealousy is one of the strongest, most primal of all the human emotions.

I have personally seen women scream, right out in public, “I’m going to rip those earrings out of your ears, you b***h, for trying to steal my man,” and then proceed to jump on the other woman and attack them.

I have also personally seen men curse other men and yell “I’m going to kick your ***mother f****r, I’m going to kill you for messing with my woman you low life sob” and then bum rush them and start a fistfight, again in public. Daytime, nighttime, inside or outside it doesn’t seem to matter.

I am not a saint, not immune to these feelings myself, none of us are. I know, that in the heat of the moment, you feel an all-consuming, almost passionate hatred for the person that you are directing the attack on. For daring to invade your boundaries, for taking away or trying to take away the object of your affections. But you don’t have to act on these emotions.

But there is no more all-pervasive, all-consuming negative human emotion than jealousy. No human being is immune to the ravages and conflicting feelings of hurt, loss, and betrayal than the “green-eyed monster,” as jealousy is often referred to.

Jealousy thrives on negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions. Anger, resentment, inadequacy, and helplessness are all in the mix. Betrayal and fear of losing your mate is usually the primary cause.

Many women are enraged and overwhelmed with feelings of emotional insecurity by their partners displaying even the most seemingly innocent interest in other women. It may be a casual friendship, a comment about a former girlfriend, or even by a man’s just looking at another woman, a stranger, say at a shopping mall, or driving down the street.

What really triggers a man’s sense of jealous rage is any sign or actual proof of sexual infidelity by their mates. If they discover or suspect that their male friends are sexually cheating with their wives, girlfriends, or significant others, gay or straight, they often fly into an all-consuming rage.

Death threats or great bodily harm to the offending male are expressed in no uncertain terms, and often acted upon on the spot, right here and right now.

These are primitive, deeply seated emotions that are tightly wound into the human psyche, and men, in general, are more likely to act out their jealous rages in the throes of a jealous fit. They may impulsively punch out the other man in a heartbeat. All too often in our already violent society, they may try to kill them, with whatever is most handy. It could a baseball bat, a knife, or a gun.

This is where the term “Saturday Night Special,” referring to cheap, easily available handguns, came into existence as slang vocabulary. Often if a man spends his Saturday night drinking in a bar, perhaps losing in a card game or gambling, and then comes home to find his wife or girlfriend in the arms of another man, he is more likely to shoot the other man right on the spot. Again though, men and women usually express their hurt and anger in different ways.

Hollywood and the music scene have produced many examples of both male and female jealous rages. Cover songs like “Hey Joe” by Jimi Hendrix personify the typical male response to infidelity by their women: “I gave him the gun.”

Women artists like Carly Simon bitterly express their hurt and emotional pain in songs like “Your So Vain” or Alanis Morisette in “You Oughta Know” as a response to their male partner’s infidelity in vivid, viciously lyrical imagery that cuts like a metaphorical knife.

While women are certainly not immune from acting out and physically attacking the “other woman,” and often do just that, they rarely result in actually killing them. But this type of blind rage and deadly response by the male is much more pervasive, much more common, and caused by an all-consuming physical rage.

It is usually an instant, impulsive, and oftentimes deadly physical retaliation that is statistically a much more prevalent response by the male, who literally “sees red” and is blinded and overwhelmed by the emotional intensity of the moment. It seems to be an innate, hormonal response.

This is a commentary on fact-based personal observations. But personal experience and cultural evidence are overwhelming. It is obvious that the “green-eyed monster” is one of the most powerful and primitive emotions shared by all human beings, and one that none of us are ever truly immune to.

It is an emotional, passionate response triggered by a deep-seated fear of loss and insecurity, and logic has nothing to do with it.

We have come a long way, but some things never change.