Confessions logo
Content warning
This story may contain sensitive material or discuss topics that some readers may find distressing. Reader discretion is advised. The views and opinions expressed in this story are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Vocal.

It is Inside Again/Take It From Me

The Poem

By Courtney KellerPublished 2 years ago • 3 min read
Image created by aj

These two poems are kinda the same, but also not. They show different sides of what I’ve been feeling lately. There’s this darkness that doesn’t go away—it just hangs around, even when I’m trying to be happy. I can laugh, I can smile, but that heavy feeling doesn’t leave. It’s always there, in the background.

But the second poem? That one’s about why I’m still here. Why I keep trying. It’s because of my friends. I want them here with me. I want them to know I care, even if I don’t always show it the right way. Sometimes I disappear, leave messages on read, fall off the map. But it’s not because I don’t love them. I do—so much.

I just get stuck in my head. And when that happens, everything gets quiet. But I still think about them. I still smile when I remember things we did or said. And I hope they don’t give up on me. I hope they know I’m still here, still trying.

Even when I’m in a dark place, I’ll be there for them. I’ll always care. I just hope they can feel that, even through the silence.

I appreciate you. I really do. I may be silent in the more recent days, but I promise I'll be here for you.

-----------------

I smile because they need me too. A flicker of light they could cling too "You are always so happy," they said, "I cannot see you sad, or I would be too." So, I painted joy on every breath. In hopes to hold them back from meeting death. But behind my grin darkness krept. A promise broken, secrets kept.

A figure loomed, I could not see. Everyday, it fed off me. A hand like knifes, it stole off me. "You are alone, give it to me" "Give me your light and what they see" I gave my warmth & every spark To keep their minds from going dark But with every laugh and cheerful part It dug it's claws deeper into my heart

Now I sit where silence grows Feelings hide where no one knows Not a monster from the night But guilt, sadness, and a slight fright It leans above me & will not flee As it softly whispers, "give it to me."

That's why I am here, I gave all of me People pleasing became my prison I tried for everyone to bring a light Dimming mine night by night Now carrying a shadow, does it belong to me? I believe a burden, I let inside not watching me. Of course it belongs to me.

-----------------

I smile because I want you too A flicker of light for you to cling too The darkness in you, I see it grow Its in a place no one knows So I offer my joy with every breath Not to hold me back, but keep you from death Behind your grin, a shadow shows But, I still let the healing grow A figure looms in me, I have made it tame Feeding slow, yet I remain Its hands still cold, it's voice still near But I quiet the dark when you are here "Take my warmth, & what you see" "If it helps you hold on- please take it from me." I'll give each laugh and cheerful part So you won't feel hollow at heart Because you are not alone Even in the darkness you've known The monsters might still feel here As your still breathing, still real and true I'll keep standing here with you Not a monster here, just love that sta Even through my darkest days It leans above me, I do not flee I whisper gently, "take it from me" That's why I am here, I choose to be Not for praise, not for fear But so you feel someone near So, i will brighten your light Even if it dims mine night by night You are not alone you see I gave you my light Please, stay with me

Secrets

About the Creator

Enjoyed the story? Support the Creator.

Subscribe for free to receive all their stories in your feed.

Subscribe For Free

Reader insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment
    Written by Courtney Keller