Involvement With A Married Man

Ok Ladies, So you're with a married man? But when he goes home to fuck his wife, is that classed as cheating?

The first line was to catch your attention: however, I genuinely write this article - with no intention to harm anyone - just to warn you and (remind) you of the dangers of being with a married man.

And when I say dangers - do i mean physically? Maybe, but most likely no.

I mean the emotional dangers - the mental dangers, the dangers to your psychological well - being.

Yes, having an affair with a married man (and maybe you don't want to call it an affair) can start off as a lot of fun; excitement, danger element, thrill of the chase, and you may think this is not even someone you need to make a commitment to so you can relax - it's all fun, until it's not fun anymore. You may even feel that you are being 'chosen' over his spouse - but are you really? I'm here to explore this and other things when involved with a married man.

So do you need to have deep (love) feelings for this man in order to start the process of the long, agonizing, gut - wrenching pain (which is inevitable). No, not particularly. You see, the pain can start very early on - even during the 'initial' dating stages.

The worst (painful) realisations that you have when having an affair with a married man:

- He is lying to you (about many things) - but especially his feelings / non-feelings towards his wife

-He will never leave his wife for you (highly unlikely)

-His feelings for you will never surpass those of his wife's

-If you need him, he will be unable to be there due to (family) commitments

-Holidays cannot be spent with you due to - family commitments

-He is STILL having sex with his wife during your affair

-He is STILL enjoying sex with his wife during your 'love' affair

-He has done this multiple times before (you are not special)

There will come a day when you realise that his feelings towards you will never triumph over the feelings he has for his family - and yes he may tell you all sorts when he is intoxicated in your perfume smell; however it can simply not stand true in the real world.

The fleeting moments of 'love' and 'passion' you feel when involved with a married man simply cannot bandage the pain (daily and ultimately) that you will feel.

Oh, and let's say you make the mistake of falling deeply in love with a married man? Your game is really up ladies. You will begin to have nightmares every time he goes home to his wife. Holidays, birthdays, special occasions will become nightmarish for you, and you will ask yourself the question - what's in it for me? But, once again, one look/touch/meet with him will make you forget (albeit, fleeting moments). But once again you will be back in your delusion that he is only for you.

Unfortunately, the lies a married man will tell you about his wife / home simply cannot be avoided - to make sure your feelings are not being hurt. It is not just the married man to be blamed here, he will tell you all sorts of lies to avoid confrontation / arguments / jealousy.

One day you will wake up as a fraction of the human being you once were, lowering your boundaries and standards day by day until you no longer recognise anything and are willingly willing to accept even the smallest snippet of anything that can be cast off as attention from this man.

Is it his fault? Maybe not, maybe he loves you. Maybe he desires you. But infront of his (pre-existing) life, You are but a small particle in his otherwise vast key (chief) universe.

The love simply cannot bandage the pain you will feel when you realise another women is the key to his universe. You are (and always will be) a fragment of tiny speck of something called a 'good time'. You're the 'fun' one, the 'exciting' one, the 'having better discussions and sex' one, but are you the 'getting the house and 2 cars on the drive way' one? Are you the 'whenever I need him, he's there' one? Are you the 'leave everything else and run to you' one? Are you the 'priority' one? No, you cannot be and you will never be, so stop kidding yourselves.

Now, despite my exasperated rant above; there is nothing inherently wrong with being with a married man in and of itself; however You should know exactly what you are getting yourself into - or what you are (or have been) involved with. See clearly and stop telling yourself that you are the only one he has eyes for. Yes when he's with you, maybe, but during the intimate moments he has with his wife; he most certainly only has eyes for her. If you are happy to be in a relationship where you are willing to share your man, than great! Otherwise, take heed, look left and right and steer clear of married men - it will cause only YOU tremendous pain, whilst he's getting his freak on with his wife!

So I ask you once more, 'You're involved with a married man, when he goes home to fuck his wife, do you call that cheating?'