I stalked my middle school teacher and I've regretted it ever since

When I was in middle school, there was this teacher I had an obsessive crush on. To protect her identity, I'm going to call her Ms. Mallory, just in case she finds this article and stumbles upon it. It all started in the 7th grade when I was in big ELA and Social Studies classes. The school sent me to smaller ELA and Social Studies classes that were taught by Ms. Mallory, for some reason because I was struggling to pay attention in the bigger classes. At first I was not thrilled, going to a smaller class, and I was not thrilled about Ms. Mallory being my teacher either. But after a few weeks, I began to notice how beautiful she was, and I started to develop a tiny crush on her.

Another few weeks pass by, and before Social Studies began, I was upset because some girls in my gym class were being mean to me. She noticed I was sad, and she went out into the hallways to talk to me about it. After I explained what happened, she comforted me saying I was one of her favorite students. Then she hugged me and that made my crush on her grow even larger. From that day on, I was excited to see Ms. Mallory every school day. During the fall and winter, she would often wear tight dresses with knee length boots and that would often give me an erection. Every time I was done seeing her for the day, I would hug her and she said to me, and I quote, "I love you to pieces." I was very disappointed whenever she was absent from school.

The next school year, I enter the 8th grade, and even though Ms. Mallory wasn't my teacher anymore, I still stopped by her classroom to say hi to her. However it got out of hand, there were times where I would lie to my 8th grade teacher and ask if I could go to the bathroom when in reality, I would sneak to outside of Ms. Mallory's classroom and peak through her classroom door window. Long story short, I was eventually caught, and I was told by administration to stay away from her. But of course, being a middle schooler, I disobeyed the administration and still found ways to stalk her. I would pretend to run into her in the halls so that I could talk to her, whenever it was my lunch period, she would go out to eat and return to the school and I would try to chase her down to see her. To make matters worse, they had to put faculty and staff in the halls so that they could keep an eye on me and that she could be safe.

On the last day of school, I wanted to go see her and tell her goodbye, but I changed my mind because I didn't think that she would want to see me after what I did to her. So I just gave up and went home on the bus without seeing her. And ever since I graduated from middle school, I have regretted what I have done. There has not been a day where I haven't thought about what I did back in middle school. I wish I had not did any of that. Even if I was a kid and did not know any better, that does not mean what I did was acceptable. If she was even considering getting a restraining order against me, I honestly do not blame her. If I had been in her position, and a student would not stop harassing me, I probably would have done it. It's been 6.5 years since I've graduated from middle school, and it still haunts me to this day.