I’m a Multi-Passionate Creative: I Put Too Much Pressure on My Creativity

At the beginning of 2021, I started taking my passions more seriously because I wanted to make money while also doing something I loved. As a college student, I desired to get a head start on my career. So, I had plans to start selling my paintings, writing more poetry, and experimenting with new art styles. But today, I have not sold any paintings, barely write poetry, and bounce back and forth between art styles.

I often ask myself why I have not achieved my goals or why I am afraid of taking risks to make my dreams come true. However, what I needed to do was acknowledge where I am now, in the present moment and understand that I have put too much pressure on myself to be creative constantly.

Currently, I am a full-time online student studying English and professional writing. After a couple of internships, I thought I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life; I was wrong. I wanted to be creative and take advantage of my passions. I knew other artists and writers who built a career selling their art and writing. So, I knew my dreams were not impossible, but I needed to work harder to receive them.

As a new year started, I felt the time was right to jump head first into my passions. Over 2021, I learned more about social media, marketing, and how to promote my art and poetry. I started small by opening print-on-demand shops (which I still have) and sharing my poetry through digital illustrations. No matter what happened, I kept my head up and never gave up until now.

Well, I have not physically given up; I still make and share art. But mentally, my motivation and passion for being creative and building a career off of it have slowly disappeared, and it has broken my heart. At first, I tried to figure out what was causing this problem. But it was not social media or school; it was me. I realized how much pressure I was putting on myself to be creative all the time.

Since I did not want a traditional job, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, which is not always bad! However, I pressured myself to the brink of losing almost all my passion. I started to think how much easier it would be to find a job once I graduate and have a set schedule to follow. The easiness and simplicity seemed so desirable. But deep down in my heart, that is not what I want.

Although I am good at what I do, and I love being a multi-passionate creative, I am way too hard on myself. Currently, I am only 21; I barely feel like an adult. I am on my way to receiving a degree yet have no clue what type of job I should apply for after I graduate. But I yearn for a life where I can create, paint, write, and do much more.

However, I am still learning to recognize how far I have come; I am trying to enjoy the journey rather than the destination.

I am still learning how to be creative without pushing myself to the point of burnout.

I am learning to understand that I must be patient with myself and my craft.

I am learning to understand that my creativity will always be with me whether I feel creative or not.

Even though I still feel a weight on my shoulders and want to have a taste of simplicity, I know I want to live creatively.

If you are like me and pressure yourself to be creative because you do not want a traditional job and want to make money from your passions, you are not alone. I understand the struggle and the push to rely on your passions. Enjoy the journey and the process of becoming who we want to be and what we want to do. We will all arrive at our destinations.