I Got Fired. Really?

So, I got fired.

Yes, super focused, extremely diligent, ingrained with a terribly hard work philosophy, committed to work, dedicated to work, work to work, then fired from work – that’s me.

To someone like me this was incredibly unexpected expected, if that makes sense. I kinda knew something was coming. My friend who I send private podcast too across the seas had received not one message fro me in months. Even though she was her usual vibrant self, for some reason I just could not rally myself to send her a message. The negative pressure was building.

In fact the negative pressure started the very first day I started working with this company three years prior. On my very first day there was behind my back gossip from my superiors – and low and behold, it just never stopped.

Was it my fault I got fired? Well my fault in the sense I was stupid enough to work for people who did not hold the same core values as myself? Then yes. But was it my fault really? If I break it down into black and white? No.

I was been set up by the director and a new manager. A new manager, I hired and everyone around me said, don’t trust him – he is not a good person. But me, that’s what I do, I believe in the inherent good. I poured everything into this guy, only for him to get me fired because he wanted my job. The director and the new manager worked as a tag team and as soon as there was an opening, I was kicked quite unceremoniously out the door. Excuses were made as to why I was being fired, it was all very blurry. And considering up until that point I had not had any meetings, counselling, performance reviews or upper management consulting about my performance (oh except when the owner professed that I was his best manager, he loved me, he valued me and even appreciated me every time I saw him – sealed with a kiss of course).

It’s funny, not funny, I am the type of person who automatically trusts and believes people when they speak to me. I give this trust easily. Perhaps too easily in a world where everyone is trying to get a piece of cake for themselves and then another to save for later. The people who had me fired, will snicker and not look back to wonder if I am okay. That’s the kind of people they are. Lacking empathy and, well, lacking any kind of humanness really.

My direct report boss had to do the firing. The guy who was supposed to mentor me, train me, give me targets and make me accountable. Yeah well, that was not my boss, he wasn’t a real boss. He was however one of those people who feeds on gossip, sends information up and down the line to make himself look the best in any situation. He was not a real boss, he’d had no training, had no idea how to manage people and get the best out of them and certainly no idea how to create a dynamic team. If he was a real boss he would have committed himself to making a strong team under him. A team that was ready to jump for him because he asked them to. A team that would take a hit for him when necessary. A team he inspired by demanding accountability and showing the team what great people the directors and the company were. I don’t recall one occasion in all my time in that company that he ever did that.

He was not a real boss. And he fired me anyway. After he fired me, he said ‘sorry’. Sorry for what, the fact that his lack of competence to do his job got me fired – nah, sorry, that doesn’t work. Get competent if you are going to do a job. No-one likes being a puppet, well perhaps, except him and all the other YES people the owner like to surround himself with

When I got fired, of course I called my nearest and dearest. Everyone said the same thing.

‘I got fired.’ I said.

‘Well I know you probably don’t want to hear this right now, but this is probably the best thing that could have happened, you never would have quit. You are too good for those people, they do not deserve you.’

‘I’m glad they fired you. You never would have quit you know.’

‘Anyone would be very lucky to have you. These guys are bastards.'

‘You know I was really worried about you when I saw you. That company seems a total mess, you don’t want to be working for people like that.’

‘It seems like a bit of a misogynist environment, I don’t know how you did it.’

One friend even commented, ‘Ah, finally, it was like you have been in an abusive relationship with these people they way they treated you. Good. You should probably even go and speak to someone because you have been carrying their crap around with you for years.’

All of the above people, my people. My tribe.

And there it is, clear as day now. I had been mixing with people who never stood by their word, who gossiped worse than a bunch of women at the ghats and who made promises but never, ever planned to make good.

Problem for me was, along the way, I had been building my team, a great team who worked with me. Our team shared a mutual respect, we worked for a common goal, we laughed, we joked, but we always put the business first.

My management style is to continuously pass down knowledge to bring others up. My day was filled to the fullest cup each and every day offering knowledge, training and support to those who needed it. I like think this is a rare quality. A quality that garners respect from the team even though you don’t ask for it. A quality the people I worked for will never understand the benefits of because they never understood you had to have a special kind of integrity to build that respect. Creating a positive team and culture leads to successes for the business overall. Now this, is just common sense.

Regardless of the above, I was – fired.

It was bit of a shock. Biggest shock was not to be working alongside my team everyday. Not because it was imperative, but moreso because I wanted to make sure everyone was alright.

The day I was fired five other team members walked out as a sign of support for me.

The days after I got fired and the news circulated, I received so many warm and loving messages from my team, ‘Thanks for being a great mentor,’ ‘You have taught me so much,’ ‘I can’t believe they fired the hardest working person here,’ ‘I will miss your positive vibe and energy,’ and so on. People don’t send messages like this unless there is some truth behind them.

Since I was fired a total of more than twenty percent of the team have resigned. Unfortunately, those in charge of the company lack the insight to understand the importance of a team and working for a common good.

So, I was fired. No more getting out of bed at four am for the time being. Woohoo! I would have time to spend with my family and my dog. Smiling now – it’s the small things.

Those at work who really cared, stuck beside me. I was surprised I never heard from one of my managers who worked under me seeings we were good friends, we shared jokes each and every day, we had been to each others houses and had been to lunch and dinner together – heck I spent more time with him than I did my husband. Not to forget all the help and advice my husband happily gave him over the years. Another YES puppet perhaps?

The day that I was fired the above mentioned went cold turkey on me. Haven’t heard from him since. Is this the true measure of a man? Everyone has their own agenda I guess.

I was never overly distressed that I no longer worked with this company, quite the opposite in fact. It was a relief. There is a Chinese saying that goes something like, ‘sometimes the universe will open the door for you when you refuse to open the door yourself.’ And opening this door suddenly allowed me to leave the stale mess behind and move into the fresh air, the sunny day, the blue skies and radiant sunshine. Ahhhhh…. I suddenly began to feel clean again.

I did not want to open the door because I honestly thought I could work towards changing the toxic culture of the company. But I could not. If the toxic culture is coming from the three people above you who are your bosses, and they see no reason to change, then change will not arrive.

It is a good lesson for me. No matter how hard I worked, how many extra hours I put in, how many new projects I created, with a future that breeds toxicity you may as well resign yourself to living with it or getting the hell out before it’s too late. Otherwise you will remain slowly sinking in the stagnant swamp with no way of swimming out.

Here I am two months on. Still not working, but instead completely invigorated. I’ve noticed I am noticing the moments once again. I am noticing the little things, the beauty of the sunrises, the smell of sweet Jasmine when I walk the streets. I made time for my first yoga class in a long time. I have time for conversations, cooking and writing.

I am resinspired with a new project, something that suits me, something that is me.

Don’t waste time with people who don’t buoy you up.

Don’t waste time with this who gossip.

Don’t work for people who lack basic human values.

Don’t work for a narcissist boss – goodness knows there is only one person important to them, themselves.

Don’t try and create change if it is unsupported by your superiors.

Don’t trust the untrustable. Go with your gut.

Surround yourself with love – only love.

Surround yourself with people who can do the same.

And remember, if something doesn’t feel right, you can make the shift to something much more comfortable.

I am an awesome human being. I have never doubted this. I say this with humility not with wanting all of you to like me. I also say it to remind myself, that, yes, in fact, I am an awesome human and these gossiping, mysoginistic males who lack integrity and professionalism, who love the YES MAN and not an intelligent discussion will never take that away from me.

Ahhh, yet another learning experience.