How I Deal With Overthinking

How I Deal With Overthinking is something I never thought I’d be able to explain in a calm, structured way. For years, it felt less like something I did and more like something that happened to me. My mind would latch onto a thought, then spiral into a dozen variations of it. Worst-case scenarios, imagined conversations, regrets from years ago — all of it would show up at once, usually at the worst possible time, like when I was trying to sleep or simply relax.

What I’ve realised over time is that overthinking isn’t just “thinking too much”. It’s more like your brain trying to solve problems that don’t have clear answers, or replaying situations in the hope of finding certainty. The trouble is, certainty rarely comes from thinking harder. It usually just creates more noise.

So instead of trying to “stop” overthinking completely, I’ve learned to manage it in small, practical ways that actually work in real life.

Noticing when I’m spiralling

The first real shift happened when I started noticing when overthinking begins. It sounds simple, but it wasn’t obvious at first. I used to only realise I was overthinking once I was already deep in it — heart racing, mentally exhausted, jumping from one thought to another.

Now I try to catch the early signs. For me, it’s usually when I start replaying a conversation more than twice, or when I begin asking myself questions that don’t lead anywhere, like “What if I said the wrong thing?” or “What if this goes badly?”

The goal isn’t to judge myself for it. It’s just awareness. Once I notice it, I can gently interrupt the pattern instead of letting it run on autopilot. Even something as simple as saying, “I’m overthinking this again,” helps create a bit of distance from the thoughts.

That distance is important. It reminds me that thoughts are not facts — they’re just mental activity.

Getting out of my head and into my body

One of the most effective things I’ve learned is that overthinking lives in the head, so you often have to bring yourself back into the body to break the cycle.

When I feel stuck in my thoughts, I do something physical. It doesn’t have to be intense. A short walk, washing the dishes, stretching, or even just standing outside for a few minutes helps more than I expected. The point is to shift attention away from internal noise and into something real and present.

Breathing techniques also help, but not in a dramatic way. I don’t do anything complicated — just slower, deeper breathing for a minute or two. It sounds almost too simple, but it signals to the body that nothing urgent is happening, which helps calm the mental pace.

I used to underestimate this part. I thought solutions had to be intellectual. But often, overthinking isn’t solved by more thinking. It’s solved by changing state.

Writing things down instead of looping them

Another habit that changed things for me is writing. Not in a polished, “journal every morning” way, but more like dumping thoughts onto paper or into my phone notes.

When I’m overthinking, my mind tends to recycle the same idea repeatedly. Writing it down forces it out of my head and onto something concrete. And strangely, once it’s written, it often feels smaller and less overwhelming.

Sometimes I’ll write the exact thought that’s bothering me, then underneath it, I’ll ask a simple question: Is this actually happening right now? or Do I have any real evidence for this?

More often than not, the answer is no. It’s usually just uncertainty dressed up as urgency.

Writing doesn’t magically solve everything, but it breaks the loop. It turns a spinning thought into something I can actually look at.

Limiting “fuel” for overthinking

I also had to accept that some habits make overthinking worse. For me, it’s things like scrolling endlessly on my phone, especially late at night, or revisiting old messages and situations that I can’t change.

When my mind is already tired, those habits act like fuel. They give my brain more material to analyse and obsess over.

So I’ve started setting gentle boundaries. Not strict rules that I break and feel guilty about, but small adjustments that reduce mental overload. For example, I try not to scroll in bed anymore, and I avoid checking certain things when I know I’m already feeling anxious or tired.

It’s not about cutting everything out. It’s about noticing what feeds the cycle and slowly reducing it.

The difference this makes isn’t always immediate, but over time, my mind feels less cluttered.

Accepting that not everything needs an answer

This was probably the hardest lesson for me. I used to believe that if I thought about something long enough, I would eventually “solve” it. But life doesn’t always work like that.

Some situations are unclear. Some people’s intentions are unknown. Some outcomes are simply out of my control. And no amount of thinking changes that.

Learning to sit with uncertainty was uncomfortable at first. But it also brought a strange kind of relief. I started to realise that not every thought deserves my full attention. Not every question has a useful answer.

Now, when I catch myself trying to mentally “figure everything out”, I pause and ask: Is this something I can actually act on, or am I just trying to feel in control?

If there’s no action to take, I try to let the thought pass instead of engaging with it.

It’s not perfect, but it’s freeing in a quiet way.

Being kinder to myself in the process

One thing I didn’t expect is how much self-criticism feeds overthinking. When I used to catch myself spiralling, I would get frustrated and think, “Why am I like this?” That frustration would just add another layer to the mental noise.

Now I try a different approach. Instead of judging myself, I treat it like a pattern I’m learning to manage. Some days are better than others, and that’s normal.

Overthinking doesn’t disappear completely, and I’ve stopped expecting it to. What matters more is how quickly I notice it and how gently I respond to it.

There’s something calming about accepting that my mind will sometimes be busy, but it doesn’t have to be in charge.

Final thoughts

Overthinking used to feel like a constant background process in my life, something I couldn’t switch off no matter how tired I was. But over time, I’ve learned that it’s less about control and more about awareness, habits, and small shifts in attention.

How I Deal With Overthinking now isn’t about eliminating thoughts. It’s about not getting pulled into every one of them. It’s about noticing, stepping back, and choosing where my attention goes next.

Some days I still get caught in loops. But I come out of them quicker now. And that, more than anything, makes a difference.