How a Tragic Death Awakened My Soul to Who I Truly Am

My name is Debbie and I am a Spiritualist and a medium. Yes, I speak to dead people. Ahhh, it feels good to say it. It took me a very long time to come to terms with who I really am. I have always been shy, compliant, and a law-abiding citizen who was always trying to please everyone even if it was at my own expense. I never argued or belittled anyone, nonetheless, anger anyone in any way. It was always me sacrificing myself for someone else’s benefit. I was also a Christian though this phase in life was only to drown the voices in my head, my intuition, and the apparitions. But it all changed on that dreadful night in July.

I received a call no parent should ever receive. My oldest son had perished in a pedestrian accident. Why? Why me? I have been a good daughter, student, wife, mother, citizen, Christian, and employee! I began to question my life, the world, our existence, religion, and the infinite source of higher power. There were so many questions in my head. Questions I could not find the answers to. I was angry yet, I relied on the infinite source of higher power to get me through this torture I was going through. Days turned into months and months into years. My search for answers was not progressing. I often sat outside and spent hours just admiring nature and answering my own “could’ve,” “should’ve” and “would’ve” questions.

I knew there was something more in this world that I needed to learn, but what was it. With the loss of my son, I questioned our existence. I could not believe we are to come to the Earth plane to go to school, work, get married, have children, grow old and die. If this was the norm, why exist? I played my son’s conversations over and over in my head – what he wanted to do in life, places he wanted to go, things he wanted to buy, etc. The more I replayed the conversations, the less I understood our existence. But those conversations were so real – as if he were right there with me. I have always been intuitive, therefore there was still more to learn out there. It was frustrating, a total nightmare.

My curiosity drove me to research anything related to the word “spirit,” and that’s when I found a few spiritualist centers nearby. I attended their services to learn what it is about, and I am so glad I did. One of the things the center focuses on is an open circle weekly meditation. The weekly meditation circle was the beginning of the newfound me. I looked within my inner self and discovered that I did not need to fit in with everyone or agree with everybody. I did not need to believe what everyone else believed, and I could be my own self regardless of who liked it or not. I discovered a newfound love for everything spiritual. I learned to raise my awareness to reach a higher level of consciousness. Attuning to spirit was the highlight of the meditation circle. I connected with my higher self and spirit guides, and I felt free. I could offer the bereaved a little hope through messages from their loved ones. To see them happy made me happy.

I no longer longed for anything material. I wanted experiences therefore I began traveling. I no longer brooded on what could’ve been but embraced what I already had. I discovered the art of looking at the bright side of life instead of dwelling on the negative events. I loved myself, nature, animals, life, everyone, and was finally happy. I discovered that no one or nothing can make me happy because happiness is found within, and I loved it. Of course, this did not happen from one day to another. It took several years to reach this level of consciousness. In fact, every day is a learning experience for me.

People began to accept me as I am and not because of who I am or what I could do for them. I proudly echoed that I was a Spiritualist and a medium without the fear of what people might say or think. I guess it showed through because I did not have to tell anyone about my newfound life. Instead, coworkers, siblings, and friends began to take my approach to life. I did not have to preach; people just followed my lead. I am no longer angry at the infinite source of higher power but grateful for the blessing bestowed upon me.